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I've said it before on here but it bears repeating for this. I was married to a gay man for years and looking back, the only clue I can think of that he was gay is the fact that he didn't like to kiss me. We kissed when we greeted each other when we got home but it was never a sexy kiss. I guess that I thought at first it was my breath and flossed all the time but it never got better and I got used to it but now I know that it should have been my first clue. I'm dating a man now who loves to kiss and wondering why I ever put up with the was-band.
After he came out he told me that actually loves to kiss so I'd say this is a huge red flag. Are you willing to just be a friend? If not, walk away before you get in deeper and as another poster mentioned, listen when she tells you something and save the challenges for work and sports.
I was referring to several threads her in the last week, in which guys ranted for many pages about how, if a woman does what the OP said he did (waits a few months before having sex with a guy because she thinks it will increase the probability of developing a serious relationship) then she is an evil manipulator and should be dumped.
I'm kind of guessing those same people won't be so vociferously judgemental of this man who says he did the same thing.
And I think this is good to discuss, as long as we ALSO discuss the issue the OP came here for .
To me it's all about respect.. for myself and for the female involved. I mean I don't sleep around at all, having slept with only a handful of women, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it and physically want it from the onset of a relationship. I just cool my jets because to me there is a level of emotional attachment that comes along with sexual involvement. I feel like this is the case for most people. If the girl also feels emotionally attached when engaging in these activities then I want to wait to make sure that the added attachment is justified, both for my sake and for hers.
missed that part. Dude, what are you doing? Writing pulp romance novels on the side?
LOL!
OP, the chick is screwed up. She TOLD you she was from the get-go. I don't know why people get into relationships with people that they KNOW are effed up...and then they come here and ask how to fix everything.
You need let that hot mess go and get on with your life.
She doesn't even know what she wants, and may never know, so it will always be a guessing game for you. You will never know this women to the point where you are satisfied.
I pursued a couple of women in my life that that gave off ambiguous, ever changing signs. I mistakingly thought they were interesting/deep and had some substance, only to find out they were just confused and were a bad long term match for anyone. There are people out there that just aren't compatible with the general population.
The one younger gal I was pursuing a couple of years ago who fit this profile has gone through multiple relationships in that time with men and even a woman since then and none of them ever worked. She attracts people but has no idea how to keep them, or they just get tired of dealing with her ever fluctuating personality
To me it's all about respect.. for myself and for the female involved. I mean I don't sleep around at all, having slept with only a handful of women, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it and physically want it from the onset of a relationship. I just cool my jets because to me there is a level of emotional attachment that comes along with sexual involvement. I feel like this is the case for most people. If the girl also feels emotionally attached when engaging in these activities then I want to wait to make sure that the added attachment is justified, both for my sake and for hers.
I hope that clarifies it!
I think that's a very intelligent, rational, and self-aware way of looking at things. And, as a woman, intelligence, rationality, and self-awareness are some of the primary things I look for in a partner.
To bring it down to the level of most of this forum: You have the male equivalent of huge t*ts and a small waist .
Last edited by NilaJones; 06-05-2013 at 11:24 AM..
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