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The reason online dating doesn't work is because it's online dating.
It's like the Clippers before they got Chris Paul & Blake Griffin. Just saying "They're the Clippers" is all the insult needed.
There is an unmistakable mark of shame that is inherent when someone elects to date ONLINE, because it signals that they do not have the requisite social skills or hot looks to meet someone in real life. Don't be fooled by those commercials that say "City Folks don't just get it" or "ONE out of 5 people meet their spouse online, and the stigma is declining". They all have a financial incentive to make you take the plunge for this joke of meeting people and socializing.
Think about it. Would the hottest or richest even entertain the idea of online dating.
The most beautiful women in my college LAUGHED OFF the idea of online dating and were too prideful to even go in that direction. So why did the top of the dating scene & social hierarchy NOT DO ONLINE DATING, BUT THEIR MOTHERS WHO WERE SINGLE USED IT??? WHY?
I thought that was very telling. It's so much more fulfilling to learn game theory and to devour all information espoused by PUAs such as Savoy/Mystery/Tom Leykis/Roosh/Style/Braddock and meet women THIS WAY. Once you get this knowledge, you wouldnt' want to ever go back to the former way of socializing.
You are about 10 years behind sweetheart. "Mark of shame"? That's so ignorant. And a bit funny...even sad.
Online dating is like anything else. You get out of it what you put into it. It's not easy, but it works, if you work at it.
I quit online dating a year or so ago, because my experience was the opposite. I definitely did not find that I "got out what I put into it."
In fact it almost seemed to be the reverse. Putting effort in just makes it all that more frustrating when I'd inevitably fail.
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Originally Posted by ChessieMom
You are about 10 years behind sweetheart.
Again, I think he's right. There's a huge gender imbalance online -- some people think that's driven by 'women feeling unsafe', but i think it is driven by the social stigma of meeting a man online.
I quit online dating a year or so ago, because my experience was the opposite. I definitely did not find that I "got out what I put into it."
In fact it almost seemed to be the reverse. Putting effort in just makes it all that more frustrating when I'd inevitably fail.
Again, I think he's right. There's a huge gender imbalance online -- some people think that's driven by 'women feeling unsafe', but i think it is driven by the social stigma of meeting a man online.
well, first you have to get good photos of yourself. then you have to write a good profile, and answer some questions. That part doesn't take too long.
The difficult and time-consuming part is finding the time to read through the profiles and send out messages. It's tough to get a response from a decent person... and even if you do get some responses, the vast majority of those will drop conversation. Even if you beat the odds and have a good conversation, it's still a guessing game whether they'll want to actually meet.
so.. big picture. for each message i sent out there i'd reckon there was about a 1-in-50 chance that it would eventually turn into a date... and there probably aren't even 20 women online in my town that I'd want go out with in the first place. 1-in-50 comes after I'd lowered my standards beyond women I'd want to date.
I'm 29 and several of my female friends have expressed reluctance to use it.
Give it a couple of years. Pretty much every single woman I've known in her 30's (including some extremely attractive ones) has done online dating. The rate might be slightly-lower with 20-somethings, though plenty of them have, too.
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Originally Posted by le roi
i used okcupid , match, and okcupid on-and-off for about 5 or 6 years, in north carolina.
So, two sites? OKCupid has way more men than women. I would avoid that one unless you're feeling lucky. Match has at least slightly more men than women, depending on location and demographic, but should still be better than OKC. eHarmony is where you can find more women than men, though, and where I had more dates than I could handle with minimal effort. Being in my 30's might have helped there, though.
I still say location may be a factor. Maybe there's more stigma of online dating in the South, still?
Give it a couple of years. Pretty much every single woman I've known in her 30's (including some extremely attractive ones) has done online dating. The rate might be slightly-lower with 20-somethings, though plenty of them have, too.
No thanks. I'll stick with 20-something women and just continue meeting them in person. It is orders of magnitude more effective than online dating.
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So, two sites?
typo/brain fart there, i meant to say match, okcupid, pof, and craigslist.
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Match has at least slightly more men than women, depending on location and demographic, but should still be better than OKC.
it was better than OKC, yeah, but still didn't meet the threshold of being adequate. the cost makes it definitely not-worth-it.
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eHarmony is where you can find more women than men, though, and where I had more dates than I could handle with minimal effort. Being in my 30's might have helped there, though.
no thanks, i've had my fill of online dating. i'm not looking for advice here, i'm just outlining my experience.
I think that online dating is pretty awesome, but ONLY if you use it in addition to traditional dating. If you are unable to date offline and are relying on online dating only, then you have more important things to resolve than finding a date. Word.
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