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Put her on the road and get another one...maybe even 2 or 3. Heck, you're 29, you ought to be swimming in leg. Back in my day they called it a black book, now it's a contact list, I believe.
I love that you called it leg. Lol
That's old school.
I think sex is important enough that you're going to have to get a real answer from her and not "I'll try harder." She shouldn't have to try harder. She should actually want sex. I know the pill killed my sex drive. I've had temporary dips for issues. A lot of people don't want to talk about their issues, but this would be a barrier to a LTR. You can't just ignore this
My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months now. Things between us are amazing in just about every way except in the bedroom. We have more in common than i've ever had with a woman before and are always playing and just having a good time. When we travel or just go out and explore we always have a good time. She has never been a very affectionate person and I am very very affectionate but up until recently we've always had GREAT sex and OFTEN (at least 4 times a week). Granted, 4 times a week is probably pretty rare in relationships that are out of their "honeymoon" phase but now its down to once or MAYBE twice a week which kills me. When we do have sex I feel like I have to ask her to do it and she doesn't seem to really be "there" during any more. Oral sex simply does not happen, at least for me. I've talked to her about it and she said that she'd "try harder" which has not happened. I miss that part of our relationship and feeling wanted like that is important to me and helps me to feel secure and happy in relationships. I don't know what to do. Any advice or just your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you again.
AJ
I believe this quite common coming out of the infatuation phase. I suggest, you explore and find different ways to spice up the sex, so it doesn't become banausic.
Support. I couldn't tell you how many lady friends of mine felt completely unloved and unappreciated by their SOs and their sex drive basically shut down. I know mine did after months of doing ALL the household chores while working full time and going to school full time while my ex just sat around working part time and playing video games all day/night. I was exhausted, depressed and just not interested.
So, talk to her...ask her if there's something you could do to help but don't emphasize the lack of sex, make sure you're focusing on HER. If you are basically only helping her to get laid, she may come to resent it.
Well said. Too many men will say, oh tell me what's wrong but won't really pay attention to the reply or actually do something about it. The focus is on how they will be satisfied. And don't just think asking her once will be the end of it. You need to focus on her EACH time and her needs, not just your wants and desires. It's a two way street.
She may just have a much lower sex drive than you, and you're past the initial infatuation period. So, unless there's another fixable cause (medical, psychological, another man, or your approach needs updating), then it is very, very, very unlikely that she will return to her former level of interest. It's sad since she sounds great in every other way - but being sexually mismatched could eventually destroy the relationship because you won't be happy and you'll both resent each other over this. She needs to get checked out, and you both may need counseling to see if there is anything that can be changed.
Instead of worrying about quantity, why not worry about quality? Sex 4 or 5 times a week for men isnt the same as for women. It can get boring really fast. You already stated she isnt a real affectionate person. It would be a rare women who wouldnt come around with you showing concern about her feelings, a little sweet talk and attention, and not so much pushing for just sex. Then again, talk to her and see what SHE says.
If I ever get to the point where I have only been a relationship for 8 months and the sex has dropped off dramatically, someone check my pulse, because I'm probably dead.
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