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My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months now. Things between us are amazing in just about every way except in the bedroom. We have more in common than i've ever had with a woman before and are always playing and just having a good time. When we travel or just go out and explore we always have a good time. She has never been a very affectionate person and I am very very affectionate but up until recently we've always had GREAT sex and OFTEN (at least 4 times a week). Granted, 4 times a week is probably pretty rare in relationships that are out of their "honeymoon" phase but now its down to once or MAYBE twice a week which kills me. When we do have sex I feel like I have to ask her to do it and she doesn't seem to really be "there" during any more. Oral sex simply does not happen, at least for me. I've talked to her about it and she said that she'd "try harder" which has not happened. I miss that part of our relationship and feeling wanted like that is important to me and helps me to feel secure and happy in relationships. I don't know what to do. Any advice or just your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
This is unusual. Ask her if there's anything you can do for her that would make it better for her.
I have to say that 4 times/wk. for people in their 20's is very sad, let alone twice/wk. She may not have been that into it from the start. All you can do is talk to her, and ask if it's anything you're doing wrong that's caused her to lose interest (even if you don't think it is. It may get her to open up.) Otherwise, it sounds like you two get along great. Counseling? idk. Maybe someone else has some ideas.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months now. Things between us are amazing in just about every way except in the bedroom. We have more in common than i've ever had with a woman before and are always playing and just having a good time. When we travel or just go out and explore we always have a good time. She has never been a very affectionate person and I am very very affectionate but up until recently we've always had GREAT sex and OFTEN (at least 4 times a week). Granted, 4 times a week is probably pretty rare in relationships that are out of their "honeymoon" phase but now its down to once or MAYBE twice a week which kills me. When we do have sex I feel like I have to ask her to do it and she doesn't seem to really be "there" during any more. Oral sex simply does not happen, at least for me. I've talked to her about it and she said that she'd "try harder" which has not happened. I miss that part of our relationship and feeling wanted like that is important to me and helps me to feel secure and happy in relationships. I don't know what to do. Any advice or just your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Maybe she's depressed, worried about work, afraid her birth control will fail, wishes she were married so she could start a family, having hormone issues, etc. It could be a million things, she needs to know you love her even if she doesn't want sex all the time, so she'll know you appreciate her for more than just sex.
Why don't you ask HER what's wrong? We have no way to know what's going on between you and your GF.
It doesn't seems to me that your relationship is so "amazing", if you feel like asking complete strangers for advice.
In a "great relationship" people should be comfortable to discuss all matters of being together.
I hate to say this, but I honestly wonder if she was raped or sexually assaulted before you met her. I say this because let's just say I've had this experience before and that was the culprit.
I agree with others though.....if you love her, TELL her how you're hurting and ASK her what may be wrong.
I hate to say this, but I honestly wonder if she was raped or sexually assaulted before you met her. I say this because let's just say I've had this experience before and that was the culprit.
Yep, my friend went through this and it all but compltely killed her sexual drive and that was 3 years ago. That being the case, give her a VERY wide berth...
My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months now. Things between us are amazing in just about every way except in the bedroom. We have more in common than i've ever had with a woman before and are always playing and just having a good time. When we travel or just go out and explore we always have a good time. She has never been a very affectionate person and I am very very affectionate but up until recently we've always had GREAT sex and OFTEN (at least 4 times a week). Granted, 4 times a week is probably pretty rare in relationships that are out of their "honeymoon" phase but now its down to once or MAYBE twice a week which kills me. When we do have sex I feel like I have to ask her to do it and she doesn't seem to really be "there" during any more. Oral sex simply does not happen, at least for me. I've talked to her about it and she said that she'd "try harder" which has not happened. I miss that part of our relationship and feeling wanted like that is important to me and helps me to feel secure and happy in relationships. I don't know what to do. Any advice or just your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you again.
AJ
Ask her if she is feeling well, there could be an underlying medical issue.
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