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Marriage was never a big thing on my radar. I was happy to live with my late husband for 8 years, and we only got married because it made financial sense. /lol
BUT, for me it did increase the bond, which surprised me. My mind set shifted a little, and I can't really explain it.
I would NEVER pressure a man for marriage, heck I would never even bring it up. My current husband was clear when we started dating that he was adamantly against re-marrying, and I was fine with that. HE is the one who changed his mind. If I had been looking for marriage, I just would have stopped dating him, not try to change his mind.
I find nothing romantic about pressuring someone into marriage, and honestly that would always make me wonder if he was really happy.
I CAN understand why some women was want marriage, kids and the white picket fence.... but not all do. And thankfully we have those options now.
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I think it's funny that guys seem to think all men will look 'distinguished' as they get older...no, most will be paunchy, saggy and wrinkly. Some men (and women for that matter) will continue looking amazing as they get older, but the majority of people will age fairly averagely. All you have to do is look around you and realize this.
We're dealing with active denial.
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy
What I meant was and I'll put it simply. Most men age better than most women. Obviously, there are exceptions. If a man has salt and pepper hair, it is considered sexy, distinguished, etc. When a women gets it, she's considered old. As we age, our skin gets tighter. This also benefits the man, as tightness is more associated with hard/ aging/ manly. Whereas soft skin is associated with beauty/ youth. Which on a sub-conscious level it is also associated with fertility. That's all I'm saying. Once again, there are exceptions. So this in essence might be one reason why women look to marry sooner. They also might look to want to marry sooner because they have a short window of opportunity to get pregnant/ have kids. They also don't want to be too old when they have them. Neither do most men.
I hear what you're saying. I get it. I just disagree across the board save a minority of men. If George Clooney has salt and pepper hair it's considered sexy. This does not apply to the vast majority of men. A cheap bottle of wine can age 50 years and it will still be a cheap bottle of wine, but aged 50 years. There is no benefit to you or the vast majority of men. But, what i say makes no difference. All a person has to do is look at their life, take inventory, and that tells the story. Also, your opinion/assumption as to why women look to marry younger is just that. For one, I don't know if women look to marry younger. Educated, successful women tend to look to marry older. This has nothing to do with aging, but life business (school, career, etc). Poor, uneducated women tend to marry younger because that's what folk at lower SES levels do. It's always been more of a financial boon. So, you're reasoning here is poor.
They think their fat makes them look big and manly, too. It's bizarre.
Ohio_Peasant had an interesting analysis of this in another thread somewhere, about how it had to do with dynamics between men and them irrationally expanding that into theories of what women are attracted to.
"They think their fat makes them look big and manly "
Naw, the fat is a moisturizer and fills in the wrinkles and makes you look younger. The fatter I get the younger I look
That's because they hate women. Married women, single women, women with kids, they can find some way to despise the lot of us.
I think in a lot of cases it's damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you stay single you're a spinster who is too picky, if you have a kid out of wedlock, single moms are looked down upon...if you get married you're a harpy who forced a man into it. If you live with the man without getting married then you're desperate and he's just using you to 'play house' without any real commitment. If they stay home to care for the kids they're leeches who are taking advantage of their men, if they work then they're bad Mothers who neglect their children.
I mean, really....no matter what women do they will always be told they're doing the wrong thing.
That's because nuclear families produce significantly better results for kids than non nuclear families. Its no coincidence. Do you want to guess what percent of criminals, teen pregnancies, high school dropouts, and delinquents come from single parent households? Society would be better off encouraging more nuclear families, not less.
That's false. It's a single parent living in poverty. The affluent single mom who decides to have a child on her own because she doesn't want to wait for a match does not have the same outcome. Her children do not have the same outcome. That's not to say I'm advocating single parent households, but these issues are far more involved than what you are asserting here.
That's false. It's a single parent living in poverty. The affluent single mom who decides to have a child on her own because she doesn't want to wait for a match does not have the same outcome. Her children do not have the same outcome. That's not to say I'm advocating single parent households, but these issues are far more involved than what you are asserting here.
Study after study shows that single parenthood is damaging to kids. Those studies even adjust for race and socio economic status. 2 parents is better than 1.
I don't hate marriage, I just hate the rush to marriage and ultimatums. I think marriage should be encouraged more.
If a woman does want to get married and have children - how long should she stay in a relationship with a guy who is dragging his feet? An ultimatum isn't always a bad thing. It might lead to the end of a relationship - but isn't it better that way?
Study after study shows that single parenthood is damaging to kids. Those studies even adjust for race and socio economic status. 2 parents is better than 1.
Yea, studies show this because single moms tend to live in poverty. It is absurd to assert that child outcome that results in criminality, drug abuse, etc is simply due to single parent household. It is poverty. Do you really think the child conceived from IVF from the patent attorney living is Wellesley, MA is at risk due to not having a second parent? Let's get real here. And I challenge to provide these studies that show otherwise and to be adjusted for SES.
I know right? Marring a man who is likely going to lose most of his hair, is going to get fat and spend Sunday afternoons and evenings watching football and drinking beer and let the little bit of hair that is left on his head go gray and not care anymore. Why would a woman want to lose her maiden name that way? I give women a lot of credit. They are tough.
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. The fatter I get the younger I look
