Have you ever started talking to someone... (how to, guy, attractiveness)
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If you don't have the absolute need to be in a relationship then there are fewer issues when finding a relationship.
I have been single more years than I have been married throughout my lifetime and it does not bother me in the least however, I have never had to have a relationship.
In essence I am secure with my life and myself whether I have a steady relationship or not.
What do you mean by back off? There have been guys who I thought were too attractive for me and I wouldn't really go after them but if they were the ones pursuing me, yes I'd probably still feel a bit insecure, but I'd go along with it.
I have in the past tried my luck and approached a guy or two who were way out of my league thinking they would NEVER bite, and when they did, I was like "Oh crap, what did I just do? This is not right!". If they approached and pursued me, that would be another matter, even though I'd still feel insecure.
I'm pretty secure in knowing what I look like and how other women have treated me in the past have "helped" me get to that knowledge, but I still don't care how attractive you are, if I feel the need to talk to you, I'm gonna talk to you.
While there are people that develop the prince/princess personality, looks don't change the things needed to make someone happy unless they are insecure.
I have backed off when I thought a guy thought he was very hot. I don't want to deal with that. But a guy who is equally handsome and not placing so much importance on it, no.
I have in the past tried my luck and approached a guy or two who were way out of my league thinking they would NEVER bite, and when they did, I was like "Oh crap, what did I just do? This is not right!". If they approached and pursued me, that would be another matter, even though I'd still feel insecure.
The only way for someone to be "out of your league" is if they are not human.
All humans are in the same league and this type of thinking is what stops many from finding someone to share their lives with.
who was too hot for you, and so you backed off because of that?
I have.
Pathetic, I know. I just can't handle it.
(when I say hot I mean they look sooooo good it makes you uncomfortable)
Usually, I don't even bother with women who "look so good that it makes me uncomfortable".
Also, after my recent experience, I'm less likely to.
I have met a woman who's actually way more attractive than the women that are "too hot" Yet, at the same time, I felt I could talk to her. We got along so well. There was not a hint of nervousness. (We're just friends, though and that is how it is going to be)
I've come to realize that it is not the look of those women, it is their personality. There is some kind of air that we just wouldn't get along. I get that judgmental vibe from them.
Don't get me wrong, those "hot women" are still nice to look at, but I've learned to go more towards the ones that I feel a friendly vibe with.
That surprises me a little coming from you, all of your posts sound like you are a very confident person! Wouldn't those jitters be like, A REAL attraction to the other person?
Does it make you nervous because, maybe you don't have the same level of control over yourself? I mean that in a good way.
I wonder ...is that what most guys feel like on dates? When they have so many things to be nervous about and they know they're entering the battleground of 'hoping to get lucky not rejected'?
If you know the answer to this let me know...
I have been pretending that I don't notice for a while, since I'm on a self imposed 'single' mission, I KNOW I'm going to do the same kind of thing when I start dating again.
Those jitters are actually warnings that the other person is not right for you (from my experience).
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