Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have gone on a date with someone because I felt that they would not handle rejection well and I was not particularly excited about the date. She had asked me out several times but I always been able to say I had other plans. I knew that she was a bit down on herself because she had a bad meeting with her graduate advisor and she was close to being kicked out of her program. This particular time I had no excuse because I had already announced my plans for the evening, so I reluctantly agreed to take her to see a friend's band, not expecting anything to happen.
She ended up staying over at my house after the show, and she definitely instigated the physical act. I guess it could be seen as a pity date that led to sex, but I don't know if "pity sex" is the right label. I clearly remember, many years later, walking home from the show knowing that I wasn't going to make a move but also knowing that there was a very good chance that she would. I wasn't drunk or anything, but I think it was one of those decisions that is made differently in a split second at 2 AM than after careful deliberation.
I have gone on a date with someone because I felt that they would not handle rejection well and I was not particularly excited about the date. She had asked me out several times but I always been able to say I had other plans. I knew that she was a bit down on herself because she had a bad meeting with her graduate advisor and she was close to being kicked out of her program. This particular time I had no excuse because I had already announced my plans for the evening, so I reluctantly agreed to take her to see a friend's band, not expecting anything to happen.
She ended up staying over at my house after the show, and she definitely instigated the physical act. I guess it could be seen as a pity date that led to sex, but I don't know if "pity sex" is the right label. I clearly remember, many years later, walking home from the show knowing that I wasn't going to make a move but also knowing that there was a very good chance that she would. I wasn't drunk or anything, but I think it was one of those decisions that is made differently in a split second at 2 AM than after careful deliberation.
Most people would describe her as average looking, but she had a somewhat abrasive personality when you first met her. She was intelligent but very awkward to converse with on non-science topics. Also, she was 27 and I was 23 but we were both second year chemistry graduate students. We are still connected on LinkedIn, but I have not seen her in 10 years.
Most people would describe her as average looking, but she had a somewhat abrasive personality when you first met her. She was intelligent but very awkward to converse with on non-science topics. Also, she was 27 and I was 23 but we were both second year chemistry graduate students. We are still connected on LinkedIn, but I have not seen her in 10 years.
It was a pity date. I did not plan on sleeping with her. When I was 23 I didn't reject a woman physically unless she was extremely unattractive. There was certainly nothing physically wrong with this woman. If she had knocked on my door at 2 AM without the date things probably would have ended the same way. The whole encounter was much closer to a booty call than what you describe as pity sex.
She at least has to be doable or else I can't find any pity. I'm sure plenty of men are more sympathetic than me.
Same. When we were in college/early twenties my friends and I had a not so subtle way to describe this. We determined whether a woman was a winner of the "I'd hit it" award. Whenever a new woman entered our lives (classmate, neighbor, bartender, acquaintance, etc.) we each determine for ourselves whether or not she was doable. Just because a woman was doable did not mean we would pursue her, just that we wouldn't kick her out of bed if the circumstances led to that situation. Saying "she wins the award" was our attempt to avoid offending each others' girlfriends, but I doubt we were subtle enough to fool anyone.
To me, pity sex is sleeping with a woman that would normally not win the award. Sleeping with a woman that wins the award but you are not interested in dating is just hooking up.
It was a pity date. I did not plan on sleeping with her. When I was 23 I didn't reject a woman physically unless she was extremely unattractive. There was certainly nothing physically wrong with this woman. If she had knocked on my door at 2 AM without the date things probably would have ended the same way. The whole encounter was much closer to a booty call than what you describe as pity sex.
Well, now I'm wondering what booty calls are.
It sounds to me like you wouldn't have pursued this woman for sex (which some men who just want booty calls do, even if that means simply calling her up at 2am for it), but since she was the one who threw it on you, you took it. Is that right?
Last edited by srjth; 11-11-2013 at 12:09 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
