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Personally I would not volunteer the information unless I was directly asked by the mother. That business is between your father and your mother. I'd talk to the father about it one time, then butt out.
Are you kidding me? We are not talking about some bimbo that is getting cheated on here; Its your mother. Anyway, i feel sorry for the op, because if i were in that predicament...it will totally change the dynamics of our relationship. And I will certainly tell my mother. As a married man, the principles i hold sacred are mostly what i saw growing up. My father basically taught me how to treat a good woman and I'd certainly express my disgust and disappointment....while protecting my mother from stripper "cooties."
I had this happen to me, but not a strip club and I did tell. Save your mother the aggravation of public humiliation, a disease, and a number of other things.
Chances are your mother may already know. So, you might be tipping her hand in a decision needs to make. If she doesn't, she needs to.
They are divorced. So, prepare yourself for that. I found receipts from an appliance store a friend of mine owns, he had bought his girlfriend all new appliances.
My mother came to me that very same week and wanted to know if she thought she should divorce him or not or should she stay for the sake of us children. I was in the process of moving out myself. I told her and I told her to stay if she wanted to stay, but don't do it for me because I was moving out myself the next day.
He'd had a string of girlfriends throughout their marriage. So, the handwriting was on the wall. Looking back, he'd put my own life in jeopardy so he could see his girlfriend on more than one occasion. Dropping me off somewhere when I was real young so he could go see his girlfriend and telling my mother he was with me the whole time.
There is a strong possibility I have a sibling who lives close by. What would happen if I started dating this person. Stranger things have happened.
The man I worked for, two doors down cheated on his wife, all his employees knew it, so it was publicly humiliating for his wife...she really did get an STD. Today's standards, theirs a strong chance he wasn't using protection.
I'd sit down with her and calmly explain it. My parents did divorce after 23 years of marriage. I wouldn't hesitate one iota in telling my mother if I had it to do all over again.
It's a strip club! Not a brothel! That's not how STD's get spread! If that's how he wants to toss off his money, that's his business.
Don't tell the mother. That is only hurtful to her and she didn't do anything to earn that hurt.
If you can't except that your Dad is just as fallible as the next guy then talk to the him. But if you make a point to say something, you should be prepared to no longer go yourself. That would be hypocritical.
Tell your father you feel embarrassed because you saw him in the place and go from there but DON'T go blabbing to your mother. I've known dozens of men over the years who've gone to strip clubs for a bit of fun with their buddies - with their wives' full knowledge and sometimes with their wives in tow. It's not all Sodom and Gomorrah, back room/parking lot grinding and thrusting, infidelity and STDs as some would perceive ...
Tell your dad what you saw. Tell him he has till the end of the day to tell his wife, if not, you're obligated to tell your mom. She has the right to know. If nothing changes, then you know she's okay with it. You have to look out for your mom.
It's a strip club! Not a brothel! That's not how STD's get spread! If that's how he wants to toss off his money, that's his business.
Don't tell the mother. That is only hurtful to her and she didn't do anything to earn that hurt.
If you can't except that your Dad is just as fallible as the next guy then talk to the him. But if you make a point to say something, you should be prepared to no longer go yourself. That would be hypocritical.
Neither of the two gentlemen I posted about went to a brothel or a prostitute and look, the one gave his wife an STD. Don't be so naïve. I mean seriously, "Oh, gee, I didn't think it could happen, she was such a nice girl."
It's not just his money it's the entire household's money even if she is working in or outside the home. I seriously wish people would just get over the whole 'it's his money and not hers' crap.
You are hurting her more, emotionally, physically and publicly, by not telling her. Why protect him at the expense of her?
Tell your father you feel embarrassed because you saw him in the place and go from there but DON'T go blabbing to your mother. I've known dozens of men over the years who've gone to strip clubs for a bit of fun with their buddies - with their wives' full knowledge and sometimes with their wives in tow. It's not all Sodom and Gomorrah, back room/parking lot grinding and thrusting, infidelity and STDs as some would perceive ...
I would probably agree with this, but he did say he saw them leave together holding hands. The father took the just a strip club experience a step too far.
I went to strip club with a few friends the other day and to my surprise, I saw my father there in one of the couches with other men and several women all over him. He kept ordering drinks and after a while he left the club holding hands with one of them.
He didn't notice me but I was wondering if I should tell my mother about it. I knew he has always enjoyed going out at night but I didn't know he went this far.
The bolded really bothers me, not so much being at a strip club (FWIW, I'm a woman).
My train of thought is, if your father is doing this in PUBLIC, what is he doing in private? I don't consider holding hands and leaving with a stripper part of the experience.
I would confront your father, tell him you observed his behavior, and ask him what he plans to do about it. I wouldn't make any threats about telling your mother. In fact, don't even bring that up. Just tell him it really hurt your feelings.
I don't agree with being discreet about it. He needs to come clean about why he needs to leave the strip club holding a strippers hand. Cheaters are cheaters, and a lot of them lie about other facets of their life. He is embarrassing you and your mother with his behavior. As a member of the family, I think you need to do something. This isn't your neighbor or distant ex-friend.
The bolded really bothers me, not so much being at a strip club (FWIW, I'm a woman).
My train of thought is, if your father is doing this in PUBLIC, what is he doing in private? I don't consider holding hands and leaving with a stripper part of the experience.
I would confront your father, tell him you observed his behavior, and ask him what he plans to do about it. I wouldn't make any threats about telling your mother. In fact, don't even bring that up. Just tell him it really hurt your feelings.
I don't agree with being discreet about it. He needs to come clean about why he needs to leave the strip club holding a strippers hand. Cheaters are cheaters, and a lot of them lie about other facets of their life. He is embarrassing you and your mother with his behavior. As a member of the family, I think you need to do something. This isn't your neighbor or distant ex-friend.
Personally I would not volunteer the information unless I was directly asked by the mother. That business is between your father and your mother. I'd talk to the father about it one time, then butt out.
hell of a first post for a (trolling?) first time poster...
anyway I think the way to go is to talk to the father about it...
the mother is more than likely more hurt by being told than by being kept in the dark...
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