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I couldn't have said for sure before but I recently experienced some chemistry with someone who has some kind of physical disability (I don't know him well and don't know what it is) so for me the answer is yes.
Reason I ask is an acquaintance of mine has been asked out by a disabled man that has a decent job in an office and lives on his own, however he does have a disability. He has stunted growth (he's 5'4, she is 5'9) small hands (her hands engulf his) and while his lower extremities are fine, he can't use his arms/hands much at all. He can't reach things that are above his chest and depending on the food needs help having it cut up and lots of other misc things.
She told me he's a nice guy but his disability really bothers her and when he asked her on a date she kind of dodged answering him and wanted to think about it.
She shouldn't go out with him.
He deserves to be with a woman that isn't ashamed or embarrassed to be seen with them.
That being said, truth be told, a disabled person isn't my first choice either.
At least the women on here are being honest. The fact is most women 85 to 90% will not date someone handicapped. They see it as a negative. There is a huge dating stigma to women dating someone handicapped. They care about what others think both friends and family. If you had a room with 100 woman maybe 5 or 10 would even go on a date with a disabled man. Sex marriage those numbers might drop as low as 2% to 3%. Being handicapped myself I see it all time. It is a deal breaker. Women want to be taken care of it is in their DNA. They just do not see a disabled man being able to do that. That is what kills me when people say you will find someone. When you are a handicapped man your dating pool drops down to almost nothing. Most women would take of a man they were already married too. But they would never start anything with a disable man because they might have to take care of him at some point. And that is just not something they want any part of if they were being honest.
If you are interested in someone and want to spend time with them I see no reason to let a disability stand in the way.
I often wonder how those who refuse to date anyone who they deem imperfect will feel when they have their own child who has a disability who can't get a date or doesn't have many friends because they are imperfect.....
Date them? I married one. My wife is severely disabled.
Is it difficult? Yes, of course it is... sometimes very difficult. But there's never a single moment that it's not worth it, 100 times over. As hard as it sometimes is for me, it's 100 times harder for her, because she's the one who has to live every moment entirely inside that world - yet she's the one whose optimism and positive attitude keeps my spirits up when times get hard. She's the bravest person I've ever met in my life, and I'm honored that I somehow earned the privilege of being the one who gets to help her overcome some of the difficulties in her day to day life.
Others can make their own choices - and I won't judge them for it - but if I'd been prejudiced against becoming involved with someone who's disabled, I'd never have known the greatest happiness of my life.
Wonderful post Albert. One partner has a disability others can see or think of limitations.
However, what is the "disabled person," accepting and nurturing in a partner that isn't visible to all?
There can be helpers and one disability is not another. I'd caution those who lump disabled people to be more specific and learn about both the limitations and abilities of another.
Then remember to make your own list too about yourself. It takes one accident, one drunk driver, or earthquake or certain infections etc. and anyone can be a para or quadranglic. Will you be calling a divorce attorney from the ICU or Rwhab?
That being said, if some can't even tolerate thinking about what a disabled person struggles with or accomplish daily, please don't date disabled people. That person may not be able to cope with your obstacles in life as a lot of life isn't pretty. Or some may be abusive alcoholics or divorced four times or child support for six kids etc. Make sure you are the prize you think you are so when any points out where you have a weakness you can work on improving yourself as a person.
There may be less willing to date someone with a visible disability, but those in that group tend to have mastered the simple, passing things in life.
I hope you and your wife have many happy years together, Albert .
Reason I ask is an acquaintance of mine has been asked out by a disabled man that has a decent job in an office and lives on his own, however he does have a disability. He has stunted growth (he's 5'4, she is 5'9) small hands (her hands engulf his) and while his lower extremities are fine, he can't use his arms/hands much at all. He can't reach things that are above his chest and depending on the food needs help having it cut up and lots of other misc things.
She told me he's a nice guy but his disability really bothers her and when he asked her on a date she kind of dodged answering him and wanted to think about it.
I would, why not? If they have a kind heart and we share things in common, can laugh together. Heck yeah!!
Since when is 5'4 stunted growth? My boyfriend is that height. As for cutting, I have arthritis in my hands and have trouble cutting food when I am having a bad day. I don't consider that guy that disabled. To me a disabled person would be unable to live without assistance, like in a wheelchair and having an aide.
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