Quote:
Originally Posted by grumptacular
Should I only target women with herpes?
Should I accept that maybe I should avoid relationships all together?
Should I go out with women and if we get to that point, just use my hands (I'm good with my hands)? and maybe oral?
Any other suggestions?
Go on, hit me with your best shot! Also, to my knowledge, you cannot contract it through using the same forum as me, so you should be safe.
Boy, this is going to be fun!
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OMG Grumpy, I'm starting to feel like we are some sort of spiritual neighbors.
My new BF has herpes. Dropped that little tidbit on our third date. We weren't planning to be intimate that night, but he and I were getting along well enough that he felt it was time for full disclosure. I think he really thought that would be the end of it. But I can't find a way to judge him for it.
He got it from his previous GF, who said "Oh, well, it doesn't matter now because we'll be together forever." Then she dumped him and went back to the guy who gave her herpes in the first place. WTH?
So, even on our third date I was thinking about how much I REALLY like this guy, we are extremely compatible in a gajillion ways. True to my nature, I went home and researched.
Maybe I already have herpes? Maybe he somehow fought it off and won't ever shed the virus or have another flare up (He's only had one in over a year). And yes, condoms don't really cover all that needs to be covered. THe more I read, the more I realized just how poorly understood this virus is.
Within a week I went in for my own checkup, had myself tested for everything they could think of. (all negative) The doctor agreed...no way to be sure you are preventing it, no way to know how contagious he is. Oral probably doesn't help, because the membranous tissue is the same, right? She said the ideal would be a home test right before you have sex that would indicate if you are shedding virus or not...but that is a long way off.
I'm in the process of signing up for a clinical trial of the herpes vaccine. His mission is to check with his doctor to see if taking anti-virals will protect me. (since he is asymptomatic)
My bottom line is, I've been dating for SEVEN years and not found anyone I feel has as much potential as this guy. I really really really want this to work. So we are using condoms and hoping for the best.
Yes, I know this is probably stupid of me.
Anyway, to get back to your question, I think that you should not mention it in your profile. Why not have a few nice dates with a few nice ladies? Not like you're headed straight to the sack with every gal you go out with. Wait until it becomes apparent you have a chance at sex...if that is date 2 or 4. If it isn't until date 10...that is probably too late and you'll look like a jerk.
Good luck with it, grumpy!
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