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IMO, lovesMountains, you are the Mother Teresa of this forum.
I have read a lot more about it in the past few days. There does seem to be some conflicting information, but I do feel less "leper-ly" than I did a few days ago.
I appreciate everyone's support and on topic input here. I'm not going to let it define as some one stated earlier, but I still a little gun shy, no pun intended. Things will just have to be taken at a much slower pace than I am accustomed to. Since that terrain is not as familiar, I also need to learn to be patient with myself and expect some stumbles here and there.
That's the spirit
The more you know, the better you'll feel about this.
There are so many more important things to worry about, truly.
Well, it's out there now. I caught herpes from my wife. When I said "til death do you part" i expected that it would be as such, and if I contracted it from her, it wouldn't have made a difference. So now it is what it is.
To be honest, I feel like a leper now. I put up two OLD profiles. Both were identical with the exception of one, where I stated out right I have it, and one did not. I've since deleted both. The one I was up front on, obviously got no flirts, no "want to meet", and the other OLD got quite a few over a two month period. Fair enough. It's what I expected. I'm a guy who likes to be up front about things, anything else seems manipulative.
A good friend of mine, who also has it, suggested that I get them all hot and bothered to the point where, in the throws of passion, they won't care, again, that is wrong to me. If I asked you ladies how would you react, no offense, but I don't expect honest answers, so I won't even ask. But I do prose these questions to the masters of relationships on here:
Should I only target women with herpes?
Should I accept that maybe I should avoid relationships all together?
Should I go out with women and if we get to that point, just use my hands (I'm good with my hands)? and maybe oral?
Any other suggestions?
Go on, hit me with your best shot! Also, to my knowledge, you cannot contract it through using the same forum as me, so you should be safe.
Boy, this is going to be fun!
A very good friend of mine who is ten years older than me has it. She has never had any problems getting a man. Keeping one that is another subject, yet irrelevant to her having herpes. I guess from what she say's guys can do anything with her so long as she isn't having an outbreak. It's not like you can't do normal "every type scenario things" with people who don't have it. As long as you aren't having an outbreak, I guess you are good to go. Good luck OP'. This must be a crappy thing to deal with. At least you are being honest about it.
If I said anything that anyone else has said, I apologize. I did not read all of the responses.
We aren't allowed to touch any patient without gloves and hanged hygiene is extremely important before and after touching anyone even with gloves on. So no I did not touch that patient nor would I touch any patient without protective equipment as I have a young son and would not like to catch anything and pass it to him nor would I like to pass anything to another patient just because I was lazy and could not follow protocol.
From what I've learned from specialist and by treating that patient I personally believe you can't catch herpes unless you swap bodily fluids, drink from the same cup, use the same cutlery, or have sexual contact etc etc.
Thanks for the advice.
If you have an open sore you can catch it if you come into any kind of contact with it, sexual or not. And you cannot catch genital herpes from someone by sharing a cup unless they have it someplace other than their genitals... unless they're putting cups on genitals nowadays... you'd need someone to have a mouth sore to give it to you from a cup or silverware. What kind of hospital is this that's telling you such things?
Btw? You can catch it from a towel, but it would have to be pretty recent contact, like having someone dry off with a towel who had shedding virus, and having you use the same towel on skin that was broken, but that's fairly unlikely.
ETA: I used to spend a LOT of time editing disease state materials for a major pharma co that marketed a herpes medication... I have read this stuff a million times, so you can trust me or not, but I have no dog in this race, for I do not have the herp.
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When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
There are plenty of people who have herpes and plenty who aren't put off by it. It's not as scary to most folks as an HIV+ status, yanno?
Just be honest with people that you might get intimate with... I don't think you need to stitch a scarlet H on your shirts or anything... just tell them before there's any sex. If someone thinks you two might have a really good thing going, she will give it serious thought and either she's there with you, or she cannot deal, but if she agrees to stick around, you probably have a keeper there, man.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
A very good friend of mine who is ten years older than me has it. She has never had any problems getting a man. Keeping one that is another subject, yet irrelevant to her having herpes. I guess from what she say's guys can do anything with her so long as she isn't having an outbreak. It's not like you can't do normal "every type scenario things" with people who don't have it. As long as you aren't having an outbreak, I guess you are good to go. Good luck OP'. This must be a crappy thing to deal with. At least you are being honest about it.
If I said anything that anyone else has said, I apologize. I did not read all of the responses.
Actually, they USED to think that if you weren't having an outbreak, you're not contagious. But it's since proven that people do shed the virus (meaning they are contagious) in between outbreaks without exhibiting symptoms.
Oral herpes on the mouth is unlikely to be transmitted when there is no actual outbreak, from what I understand (from personal experience, I have dated multiple men with oral herpes, but never contracted it myself - I get regular blood tests), but once you have a herpes infection in the genitals area, apparently all bets are off.
Actually, they USED to think that if you weren't having an outbreak, you're not contagious. But it's since proven that people do shed the virus (meaning they are contagious) in between outbreaks without exhibiting symptoms.
Oral herpes on the mouth is unlikely to be transmitted when there is no actual outbreak, from what I understand (from personal experience, I have dated multiple men with oral herpes, but never contracted it myself - I get regular blood tests), but once you have a herpes infection in the genitals area, apparently all bets are off.
Thanks for the heads up on the new info. I don't think that my friend knows this. She has had it for years, and I'm not sure that she keeps updates on it. I will relay this information to her. Again, thanks.
If you have an open sore you can catch it if you come into any kind of contact with it, sexual or not. And you cannot catch genital herpes from someone by sharing a cup unless they have it someplace other than their genitals... unless they're putting cups on genitals nowadays... you'd need someone to have a mouth sore to give it to you from a cup or silverware. What kind of hospital is this that's telling you such things?
Btw? You can catch it from a towel, but it would have to be pretty recent contact, like having someone dry off with a towel who had shedding virus, and having you use the same towel on skin that was broken, but that's fairly unlikely.
ETA: I used to spend a LOT of time editing disease state materials for a major pharma co that marketed a herpes medication... I have read this stuff a million times, so you can trust me or not, but I have no dog in this race, for I do not have the herp.
Yes, this is the most accurate information. I worked in medical research myself and this is what the most well respected doctors and literature stated.
I hope I never get herpes of course, but it seems strange to me that when a person has an outbreak on their mouth we call it a cold sore, and it's not a big deal..
But if they have an outbreak on their 'box' people are grossed out and act like the person is somehow dirty.
If I really liked her and could see myself marrying her, I'd date a woman that gets a cold sore on her jenny once or twice a year.
Yes, this is the most accurate information. I worked in medical research myself and this is what the most well respected doctors and literature stated.
Did you enjoy the mountains of pictures that go along with that literature? I swear, I used scroll right on past the pictures just so I could read the info... it would've been nice to have close-up shots of the sores, minus the "scenery."
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Did you enjoy the mountains of pictures that go along with that literature? I swear, I used scroll right on past the pictures just so I could read the info... it would've been nice to have close-up shots of the sores, minus the "scenery."
LOL, when a close friend of mine called to say she had been diagnosed with herpes, I sang "Blue Skies," the Willie Nelson song that was the commercial theme song for whatever was the leading herpes medication of the time. She was of course, not thrilled with the diagnosis, but it did provide a moment of extreme levity (as in, she laughed so hard she dropped the phone - mainly because I am a terrible singer).
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