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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
16 hours? 24 x 2 = 48.
Seriously though, We probably average 30 hours together on the weekends. Plus he stays over one night during the week. I think that is a LOT. I could do with less!
I would think so. When do you get stuff done? Chores, etc? Heck, that takes an entire day for me generally.
Seriously though, We probably average 30 hours together on the weekends. Plus he stays over one night during the week. I think that is a LOT. I could do with less!
That's quite a bit.... this guy had around 9 free hours.
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That's quite a bit.... this guy had around 9 free hours.
9 hours would work some weeks for me, but I don't think 9 hours a week, as an average, is going to work for any sort of lasting relationship. Clearly he needs to find someone that enjoys the same things as he does, if he isn't willing to "switch up" on his activities to do something with another person.
This would be a bit excessive IMO. I'm pretty active in my personal life, but not in just a couple areas. I think if you spread out your activities to several different things it wouldn't be so bad, and of course you must take time to invest into the relationship and each other.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
9 hours would work some weeks for me, but I don't think 9 hours a week, as an average, is going to work for any sort of lasting relationship. Clearly he needs to find someone that enjoys the same things as he does, if he isn't willing to "switch up" on his activities to do something with another person.
Really? That is three long dates or one long date and an entire afternoon a week.
I guess I'm out of touch or just date really busy people. Even in long term relationships there are weeks where we can't generally get together because of our competing schedules. Two to three times a week seems like huge commitment.
I have a hard time dragging dates out longer than 2-3 hours unless we're going to Denver or something. bowling/eating or checking out a museum are the longest dates I really go on unless we decide to go skiing or hiking with the dog.
I don't even care if my potential date skis or rides (But it would be kinda weird since I live in Vail.) I just want her to have a busy life of her own so she's not so concerned with mine I guess. I feel like the weekend nights (or days if we plan something) and a couple hours every few days during the week should suffice.
I'm not as one dimensional as this forum seems to believe..
When I snowboard during the week it's basically during work hours - I have to go to a meeting at 5:00 anyway so I ride the last couple chairs of the day. I'm very close to the resort.
The problem is solved if you can find someone with your same lifestyle interests. Extreme sports people invariably end up with extreme sports people and are able to share their passions with less conflict.
I used to date a guy like this (it was dirtbikes instead of snowboarding though).
We ended up splitting over it (2 years) because he wasn't 'active', in that he enjoyed a variety of activity, but his life just revolved around those damn bikes! I used to go and enjoy watching but then it just got irritating because there was nothing else going on. Someone can say they want a partner to participate with them when in reality? They end up just staring at the sidelines once the initial thrill wears off.
I met my husband both based on our 'active' lifestyles (OLD) and we've done well for years now, through 2 children too, because we can take turns working out in our home gym (b/c of the kids), participate in powerlifting meets, take our dog to lovely nature hikes, load the kids into the sport stroller or backpack and visit recreation spots, etc. To me, that was what active was.
Just my 2 cents, as someone in a good 'active' relationship
I would think so. When do you get stuff done? Chores, etc? Heck, that takes an entire day for me generally.
It's a problem. And I gripe about it often. Occasionally I have to just say I have stuff to do at home. Period, He hates that. He sulks. He has far more time than I do during the week (self-employed) so he can get all his "stuff done" and have his whole weekend free. I just don't have that luxury of time. Add to that the fact that he is simply needier than I am, and sometimes it seems like he wants all my free time. It is really my only complaint about my relationship, but I try to make it work.
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