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I haven't read all the posts yet but I think it is different for everyone.
KevK, in your case, it sounds like her parents might have turned into your worst nightmare! I mean they actually moved away. That says a lot right there. They sound controlling but you were in your teens so they probably needed to be.
Meeting someone young can be an awesome experience but this world is whirling so fast right now that what you want at 22 might not be there at
47.
My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We have been through everything together and have certainly built a history. What is important to us is that we were raised in a similar way so values are there. He has a good work ethic and so do I. Have we had ups and downs? Yes, mostly caused by outside forces like taking care of elderly parents financially and business stress. We have 2 great kids, though, and have become closer through the years.
We have dealt with one of those old girlfriend situations where she looked him up - could have led to disaster and almost did - but we worked it out, kept our heads and got through it. I believe this girl did romanticize their relationship (a long 3 months initially) and loved the drama involved. It was truly the hardest time in my life. (I lost around 40 pounds and became quite thin but I wouldn't recommend that diet to anyone).
He is definitely the right one for me and there are so many reasons we are together. We were also friends first and then it just happened. But I really knew him. I feel fortunate b/c you never know what is around the corner.
One of my sisters who is a planner married a nice guy, had 3 kids, and now the kids are teens and her husband has been diagnosed with Parkinsons. Is she heartbroken? Absolutely but she will be there 100%.
Just follow your heart but be thankful and grateful for what you have. You also need to have your head in the picture too!
You have a right to your own opinion regarding marrying young yet you are so far off base with what you have told your children. First of all, your high school love? We all remember our first love, first time and know that there could never be another like it in this lifetime. For you to tell your kids that any potential mate for them over age 25 has something wrong with them and that after that age all they will find is a divorced person with kids or problems. You are so wrong and so closed minded.
I have been married 3 times and there is NOTHING wrong with me. My only mistake was marrying at age 19 the first time and falling in love with a MORON. He is and was a flaming drunk who refused to work and thought selling dope was cool...so much for marrying young. My second husband died young and I am now married to a man who is 10 years younger than me and very happy. Do I feel like the "leftover" you describe or an unwanted person...NOT.
You should never, ever tell your kids that someone at age 25 is a leftover as it dehumanizes people and for God's sakes do not push your children into a permanent situation with their first love just because you feel like you missed the boat. Your kids will be in and out of love several times before they choose a mate and SURPRISE that decision has little or nothing to do with what you want.
You have a good point. When we are young, and experiencing emotions, like love, for the first time, it is very intense. That intensity is rarely repeated but it also doesn't last. I remember my first love well. I remember the intensity of my feelings but I also know it never would have worked with him. We were too young and had too much growing up to do. I'll bet if I met him today, I wouldn't give him a second look. I know I'm very different from the girl I was back then. I'd venture to say the same probably applies to him.
I go with benefits of early marriage -- more good potential spouses to choose from, more time to start a family, marrying young means avoiding the ten or so years that most people waste dating, and more. An opinion poll (http://minekey.com/opinion-poll - broken link) says 'Marrying young means you grow up together...'
i was 20 my girl was 18 when we got married before that we dated for 3 years and 20 years later still happily married, see if 2 people REALLY know they love each other and know theyll be commited to each other then its just right! although me and her werent the couple that went out and got crazy drunk like others haha, we were pretty calm. plus when me and her met it was just simply amazing, we just knew we were meant for each other. i would like to say it was love at first sight but in a special different way thats hard to explain tho. what im trying to say is marrying young isnt a bad thing at all! you just need to know that you both really love and care for each other.
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