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I said the SIL was a dumb rock, didn't make any kind of generalization and I made a point to be careful not to do that.
Reading comprehension 101.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
It's best to for beautiful people to really work on being interesting besides their looks, cause like I said, they go quicker than shyt.
Hm...well here you are implying that beautiful people need to "work on" being interesting as if all they really have are their looks. Why do you assume they already aren't interesting? I have a good personality already. I've never had a problem making friends because i'm a lively/ funny/ silly easy to get along with type of person. My point is that people always make assumptions about attractive people as you just did.
If you really want to know if you're hot to others
Put yourself out there and let people grade you. At the end of the "evaluation" you'll either walk with back straight and boobs held high and swelled head or you'll be seeing a shrink to capture some of your self esteem.
There is nothing wrong with being hot as you put it but when a person is smug, flaunts it and is arrogant about it, IMO a lot of that hot fades to ugliness. At that point your hotness scale drops.
You know what's hot? A woman who is hot but isn't smug about it.
Serious question. I created a thread where I simply said I am attractive and people jumped all over me. Do people assume you think you're better than them for saying your an attractive person? I just never understood the negative comments that follow when someone states this. It's ok to describe yourself as intelligent, funny, ambitious, whatever, but as soon as someone says they are attractive all hell breaks loose. I get that beauty is subjective , but i think that if a majority of people agree that you are good looking, it's pretty safe to say it's true. I don't get why it's ok for others to acknowledge but your supposed to pretend that you don't know. Even when someone compliments you, your supposed to act like no one else has ever mentioned it and play it off.
It is best to let others say it. But depending on the context and medium, it will likely come across to many in a negative way - especially if it is not pertinent to the topic [say, something like how people react to you when they meet you: it's only one variable of many that impact a first impression - for example: countenance, demeanor, comportment, deportment etc...] and you do not post your picture.
The minute you come on an online forum and say it, people will try to disprove it because saying it is a threatening act.
It goes against social mores; mannered people are expected to be humble, and saying you (or someone's told you) you're attractive PROVOKES PEOPLE. They immediately want to tell you you're not because it threatens them.
I don't think it's wrong. The only thing is, other people may disagree if they don't find you attractive. The problem with attraction, is that not everyone will consider the same person attractive, so you might think your the hottest thing yet, and there will be a group of people that will disagree. So while you may consider yourself attractive and have had others say you are, that doesn't necessarily mean you're attractive to everyone. It's much better to just say "I'm told by others that I'm attractive" as opposed to just outright saying "I'm attractive" which often causes people to think that you are being overly-confident, arrogant, and vain.
On some level, we all, deep down, know what our attraction level is--in that we know whether we are attractive to the people we WANT to be attractive to, versus if we are not. We know what others have told us about ourselves, and we know what we look like in comparison to those who are and aren't attractive. We also know what we THINK about ourselves when we look in the mirror. So most people who are attractive KNOW that they are(even if they are not attractive to everyone, on a general level a person will know that he/she is an overall attractive person). However, whether one admits that they believe they are, or describes themselves as such is a different matter altogether.
Word choice and context is everything. I've described myself as attractive before and saw nothing wrong with it, because I based it on everything I listed above(what others have told me, whether I'm attractive to the people I want to be, my looks compared to those society deems as attractive, and what I see when I look in the mirror), but I did try to use it in the context of: "I've been told" or "I haven't had an issue attracting the MEN that I want to attract" as opposed to coming right out and making a statement as if it's the "be all end for all".
Nothing wrong with having confidence and knowing your worth though.
The minute you come on an online forum and say it, people will try to disprove it because saying it is a threatening act.
It goes against social mores; mannered people are expected to be humble, and saying you (or someone's told you) you're attractive PROVOKES PEOPLE. They immediately want to tell you you're not because it threatens them.
Yeah but at the same time if I would have said I have a hard time having men I'm interested in approach me, people would probably reply "maybe you're just not attractive." I guess the lesson learned from all of this is to just not mention it period.
i guess the lesson learned from all of this is to just not mention it period.
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