Boyfriend's mom refers to me as "friend" (dating, boyfriends, girlfriends)
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She refers to me as well as his sister's boyfriend as "friend". She also introduces me to people using just my name. For example, "this is..." to which my boyfriend always follows up with "this is my girlfriend, ...". I guess the mom is a little bit in denial about her kids growing up. It doesn't bother me that much; in fact I find it amusing more than anything. Does anyone else have experience with this?
She refers to me as well as his sister's boyfriend as "friend". She also introduces me to people using just my name. For example, "this is..." to which my boyfriend always follows up with "this is my girlfriend, ...". I guess the mom is a little bit in denial about her kids growing up. It doesn't bother me that much; in fact I find it amusing more than anything. Does anyone else have experience with this?
I wouldn't worry about it so much or read too much into it. It's actually not uncommon to just introduce someone by name, rather than go into detail about how you know them. If she's introducing you to your boyfriend's grandmother, maybe it's important that she clarify you're Johnny's "friend/girlfriend" or whatever, but if it's just someone she ran into, a neighbor who stopped by, then I think it's unimportant that they know who you are, more than a courtesy, "This is Mary."
She also may find it awkward to introduce you as the girlfriend. Have you been dating her son long? Are things serious? It's also possible she may know things about your son that you don't... I have to wonder if maybe he's gone through girlfriends quickly before and she doesn't want to bother explaining that to people.
My husband's grandmother introduced me as "This is [grandson's] friend, [my name]" up until the day we were engaged. I'm not sure if it was an era thing, or what--it definitely wasn't meant to be insulting, as she and I loved each other from the first time we met.
My husband's grandmother introduced me as "This is [grandson's] friend, [my name]" up until the day we were engaged. I'm not sure if it was an era thing, or what--it definitely wasn't meant to be insulting, as she and I loved each other from the first time we met.
You bet it WAS meant to be insulting! Subtle punches under the belt!
My husband's grandmother introduced me as "This is [grandson's] friend, [my name]" up until the day we were engaged. I'm not sure if it was an era thing, or what--it definitely wasn't meant to be insulting, as she and I loved each other from the first time we met.
Good point! Could have very well just been an era thing. Didn't they call it "going steady" back then, rather than having a boyfriend or girlfriend? And before that it was "courting" and you really didn't many titles until you were officially engaged.
This isn't to say that in the OP's case it wasn't a snub (who knows), but I think you're right that there are more possibilities out there than some are considering.
she's probably just considers you just another one of his g/fs and doesn't want to think much of you unless it becomes more serious, then she will be forced to consider you as more. Some mothers are very protective of sons.... I've had boyfriends who are real mommies boys and see any female that sees their son as a threat to their relationship, and they are very picky with what woman is good enough to be with such a "perfect" man as their son.
You bet it WAS meant to be insulting! Subtle punches under the belt!
I'm not sure what the rolly eyes is about. I can't speak for the OP, but in my case it absolutely wasn't insulting. She was the first one to welcome me to the family, inviting me to Thanksgiving dinner after we'd been dating a month, giving me Christmas presents and asking me to stay at her house during breaks from college, etc. Calling me her grandson's "friend" was just a cute quirk. She knew I was his girlfriend, she treated me like his girlfriend, and the word she used had nothing to do with how she thought of me.
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