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I'm not a big fan of marriage, most men I know have been burned by it and it wrecks of negativity. Not saying all marriages are a bust, but when they do go bust (and a good percentage do) it is emotionally draining.
With that said, I want to have children. Perhaps in the next 2-3 years, up until this point I was running around avoiding LTRs and now I kind of want to get into one, with the right woman for me of course.
Will it be difficult to find a woman that wants to have children without marriage? This does not mean I will just have children with her and then leave her. It means raising a family, living together, being together exclusively and growing old together. Can this be accomplished without a piece of paper?
If you can't fathom marriage, I wouldn't have children. While not all kids have loving parents in a nice household, that should at least be the goal. If you can't even put in enough trust to marry their mother, you should not have children with her.
Can I ask why you would be adverse to getting married if you are planning on raising a family, living together, being together exclusively and growing old together? If you are committed to her for life - why are you against getting married? You can be with someone forever and not get married - but getting married is more than a piece of paper. Most people who want children are also going to want to get married - most, not all.
Can I ask why you would be adverse to getting married if you are planning on raising a family, living together, being together exclusively and growing old together? If you are committed to her for life - why are you against getting married? You can be with someone forever and not get married - but getting married is more than a piece of paper. Most people who want children are also going to want to get married - most, not all.
Well for starters, I'm not religious. I guess that means if I were speaking marriage it would be civil. I'm not trying to sound selfish, but perhaps I am. I'm not in favor of the concept. Perhaps a prenupt would work for me. I do not believe marriage is a precursor to raising a happy successful family either.
Well, if you're living together, splitting bills, raising children, etc, etc.......the court will probably see her as your common law wife. You're not saving yourself any headaches if you two split on less then happy terms.
Well for starters, I'm not religious. I guess that means if I were speaking marriage it would be civil. I'm not trying to sound selfish, but perhaps I am. I'm not in favor of the concept. Perhaps a prenupt would work for me. I do not believe marriage is a precursor to raising a happy successful family either.
I'm very confused as to what you think marriage is. I'm not religious at all but I'm married. We got married because we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm not sure what "concept" you are talking about. You said you wanted to have a family and grow old with your wife - how exactly is marriage not suited to that?
I'm very confused as to what you think marriage is. I'm not religious at all but I'm married. We got married because we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm not sure what "concept" you are talking about. You said you wanted to have a family and grow old with your wife - how exactly is marriage not suited to that?
I never said marriage isn't, I was asking if I could be with someone and raise a family that didn't want to be married?
Having kids is one of the reasons why I would consider marriage. We never had kids so marriage for us wasn't really an issue. She doesn't/didn't want to get married.
Nowadays people don't get married and have kids. I don't know... I'm not sure how well that works out.
My main concern would be that the child have two intact loving parents, if that comes in a LTR situation that's the better plan.
Kids getting carted around between two homes and all of that other nonsense is less than ideal. I don't care what the parents think. Half the time parents do what is convenient for them, and the kids become some kind of accessory to their lives.
I have some personal experience with this as my parents split when I was 2 yrs. old. The visitation and being jockeyed back and forth straight out sucked and is disruptive to the kids lives.
Those are the kinds of things prospective parents should think about.
I know in a perfect world people would stay together and I get that reality is different.
I just think you should start out of the gate with the most ideal situation.
I say this same thing to women that talk about having kids without a committed partner going the artificial insemination route.
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