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Do you find there is more pressure on one gender to get married and settle down after 30? Or is the pressure about equal?
Now that I'm over 30 a lot of my friends are rushing into serious relationships and many are getting married or already married. It sucks for me because I still enjoy playing the field and going out on the weekends. Its becoming more difficult as I have very few unattached friends now. What surprised me is the speed of this change. Basically I went from having loads of single friends to only a few in less than 2 years.
I still have no interest in settling down, marriage or kids anytime soon.
I don't know what it is about age 30, but it seems like people have some kind of complex with that age. A lot of women have meltdowns when they turn 30. Especially if they are still single. I think this is ridiculous. And all the 27-29 year old women freaking out and feverishly looking for a partner before it is "too late" as if you become a senior citizen on your 30th birthday.
Your thoughts?
It's been a while since I was 30 so maybe things have changed. But when I was in my 20s, 30 was a deadline a lot of my peers had, particularly the women. It was almost as if there were some shame in being over 30 and unmarried. I think that's different now as it's more common to find people over 30 who haven't married yet. But in general, I do think there's more pressure on women because of the kids issue. A guy can still have kids after 40. But women are told they can't wait til they're in their 40s. They're even told that men won't want them after they turn 40. What's really sad is that these messages are often from other women.
True, the healthiest 50 something year old wouldn't outdo the healthiest 20 something year old, but as long as you exercise, eat right, drink water on a regular basis, and stay spiritually and knowledgeable, I believe you can maintain an ara of youth after 50. Your body is like anything else, it needs to be utilized. I think people who complain about their body failing them are probably those who don't keep it running or getting on a consistent exercise/diet regimene.
LOL. Well, I'm sure all that doesn't hurt. I swin, do weights, cardio, racquetball, yoga, all my bloodword/blood pressure is perfect, I eat super healthy and my BMI is below average and that hasn't stopped a bunch of surgries, RA or FM.
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It's been a while since I was 30 so maybe things have changed. But when I was in my 20s, 30 was a deadline a lot of my peers had, particularly the women. It was almost as if there were some shame in being over 30 and unmarried. I think that's different now as it's more common to find people over 30 who haven't married yet. But in general, I do think there's more pressure on women because of the kids issue. A guy can still have kids after 40. But women are told they can't wait til they're in their 40s. They're even told that men won't want them after they turn 40. What's really sad is that these messages are often from other women.
these messages are from older women because they've actually been there.
Do you find there is more pressure on one gender to get married and settle down after 30? Or is the pressure about equal?
Now that I'm over 30 a lot of my friends are rushing into serious relationships and many are getting married or already married. It sucks for me because I still enjoy playing the field and going out on the weekends. Its becoming more difficult as I have very few unattached friends now. What surprised me is the speed of this change. Basically I went from having loads of single friends to only a few in less than 2 years.
I still have no interest in settling down, marriage or kids anytime soon.
I don't know what it is about age 30, but it seems like people have some kind of complex with that age. A lot of women have meltdowns when they turn 30. Especially if they are still single. I think this is ridiculous. And all the 27-29 year old women freaking out and feverishly looking for a partner before it is "too late" as if you become a senior citizen on your 30th birthday.
Your thoughts?
I imagine in your world, anyone who doesn't make the same choices as you has a complex, is desperate or suffer from some other personality issue. It can't possibly be that marrying someone is something that makes the person genuinely happy.
I don't know what it is about age 30, but it seems like people have some kind of complex with that age. A lot of women have meltdowns when they turn 30. Especially if they are still single. I think this is ridiculous. And all the 27-29 year old women freaking out and feverishly looking for a partner before it is "too late" as if you become a senior citizen on your 30th birthday.
Your thoughts?
For sure, it's ridiculous. It doesn't even sound real, it sounds like a troll post. In my world, this freaking out and feverish partner-searching doesn't happen, and I know a lot of women the age you're describing. Sorry to burst your bubble, dude, but most of us aren't in Kansas anymore, and it's the 21st Century. Check it out, you might like it.
BTW, the 1950's called, and they want their stereotypes back.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I've never felt any pressure from any friend or member of my family to get married. Haven't seen much on my guy friends either. Maybe it happens with some female friends, but it seems self imposed for the most part.
This has been said before, but I think a lot of it has to do with where you live. I used to live in St. Louis, MO which is a very, very socially conservative catholic city. There was intense pressure on young people to be married by 30. In fact, if you weren't, you were considered to be part of the gay community, or something was "wrong" with you. After I divorced, people there were trying to convince me to date again right away, like literally the next day after the papers were signed lol. I moved down here to South Florida & it's at least socially acceptable to be single & not looking here.
This has been said before, but I think a lot of it has to do with where you live. I used to live in St. Louis, MO which is a very, very socially conservative catholic city. There was intense pressure on young people to be married by 30. In fact, if you weren't, you were considered to be part of the gay community, or something was "wrong" with you. After I divorced, people there were trying to convince me to date again right away, like literally the next day after the papers were signed lol. I moved down here to South Florida & it's at least socially acceptable to be single & not looking here.
The midwest is brutal. I think there are either geographic issues involved with the OP's views, or he's just posting to rile people.
I've never been pressured by friends or family members to hurry up and get married (and I'm 38), but I have gotten pressure from people who are essentially strangers.
Ha, this topic just reminded me. A few weeks ago, my mom took her car to the mechanic. She was chatting with him and mentioned she was going to CA to visit her daughter soon. A few details about me were shared - including my approximate age, what I do for a living etc. The mechanic was scandalized and horrified that I wasn't married and having kids, and kept telling my mom that I needed to have kids NOW or my eggs would rot and I'd only be able to have babies with Downs Syndrome.
My family is mostly okay with the fact that I haven't gotten married and that I don't want kids. I think my dad has a few concerns about me being alone in my later years but he has also said some positive things about the fact I didn't marry one of the Mr. Wrongs from my 20s.
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