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I've given this some more thought - and the 2 friends of mine that seemed to feel the pressure of getting married when they turned 30 were - well, one of them had just moved in with her boyfriend a few weeks before her 30th bday and he broke up with her about 2 weeks later. So, she thought she was moving in with this guy that was going to be her future husband, and instead found herself with out a boyfriend, with out an apartment, and about to turn 30. So, yes, she freaked out. She started panicking and dating every guy that came her way. I told her to calm down - that she had plenty of time. And when she finally relaxed about it all - she met her husband. I think she was 33 when she got married and her husband is the perfect match for her. My other friend - well, she's just kind of competitive. She has a great career, makes a lot of money, and I think she felt kind of like a failure still in this one respect because so many of her friends were married. Anyway, I think she was 33 when she got married, too - and as far as I know - her husband and she are really happy together.
Most of my friends got married in their 30's - and I wouldn't say that any of them rushed into their relationships or got married just to get married. I think they all found the right person for them. I also have some friends that are still single in their 30's and they don't seem to be freaking out. But like I said, 30 is a milestone year. It makes sense that you would evaluate your life - where you are and where you want to be.
True, the healthiest 50 something year old wouldn't outdo the healthiest 20 something year old, but as long as you exercise, eat right, drink water on a regular basis, and stay spiritually and knowledgeable, I believe you can maintain an ara of youth after 50. Your body is like anything else, it needs to be utilized. I think people who complain about their body failing them are probably those who don't keep it running or getting on a consistent exercise/diet regimene.
The problem have isn't being healthy, but looking "healthy." You can be the healthiest guy in the world, but if you have acne and are balding, you will be perceived as unhealthy. Whereas, some guys can party and eat junk food for decades and still have perfect complexion and thick, luxurious hair. How healthy you look is almost entirely dependent on your genetics.
I'm 25 and I can't think of 1 example of an attractive woman who has been single her entire life.
The poster you were responding to must live in a world the rest of us don't live in. That's the prism her "advice" needs to be viewed through. I can't relate to the "reality" she speaks of, and in private message conversations, most of the other posters I converse with privately agree.
For sure, it's ridiculous. It doesn't even sound real, it sounds like a troll post. In my world, this freaking out and feverish partner-searching doesn't happen, and I know a lot of women the age you're describing. Sorry to burst your bubble, dude, but most of us aren't in Kansas anymore, and it's the 21st Century. Check it out, you might like it.
BTW, the 1950's called, and they want their stereotypes back.
Guess what? Your reality is not everyone's reality. And if you look at all the replies to this thread.. there are many people who see or feel the pressure.
I don't know why people respond to threads they don't relate to. If anyone is a troll its you.
I imagine in your world, anyone who doesn't make the same choices as you has a complex, is desperate or suffer from some other personality issue. It can't possibly be that marrying someone is something that makes the person genuinely happy.
You seem angry. Why does a different perspective infuriate you so much?
You seem angry. Why does a different perspective infuriate you so much?
I didn't notice any anger or infuriation. He's just pointing out that not everyone gets married for narcissistic reasons, nor are they somehow mentally or emotionally deficient if they don't feel pressure to marry at an early age. Nothing more, nothing less. He just had another point of view. Hopefully you can handle that.
Guess what? Your reality is not everyone's reality. And if you look at all the replies to this thread.. there are many people who see or feel the pressure.
I don't know why people respond to threads they don't relate to. If anyone is a troll its you.
Dude, you put a topic up for discussion, and I'm discussing. That's why it's called a discussion forum. A variety of points of view are usually expressed. You asked for people's thoughts, you're getting them. And now you're complaining? Because you got what you asked for?
I'm just saying, there's a lot more freedom these days than there was in the 1950's; freedom to marry in your own good time, freedom to marry who you want, freedom to not have kids. I'm sure there are people here who feel some pressure, but I think that tends to be geographically-based. If you look at the responses, you'll see others don't feel any pressure. IMO society's moving in the right direction--away from those old restrictions and towards respect for people's individual proclivities.
I didn't notice any anger or infuriation. He's just pointing out that not everyone gets married for narcissistic reasons, nor are they somehow mentally or emotionally deficient if they don't feel pressure to marry at an early age. Nothing more, nothing less. He just had another point of view. Hopefully you can handle that.
And where did I say everyone marries for narcissistic reasons and/or emotional issues?
First you can read minds. Next you put words in my mouth. I bet you can tell me what I will have for breakfast tomorrow too.
And where did I say everyone marries for narcissistic reasons and/or emotional issues?
Here:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Zen;
it seems like people have some kind of complex with that age
And here:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Zen;
they do the mad rush to lock down someone they won't be embarrassed to be seen with ASAP.
After all, not only do we need to get married and settle down.. we also have to do it with someone who we can show off to family and friends (look at me!!). We also don't want ugly kids either. Our baby has to be cute so we can show him/her off on Facebook.. tee hee. There is a sick competitive side to all this I find disgusting.
You not only gave narcissistic reasons for people choosing the partners they do, you said those reasons disgust you.
LOL. You said "spinsterhood." Such an old fashioned word that I wouldn't say a lot of women are concerned with.
Most women aren't. But there are some young women who go on the warpath with the bf to get that diamond ring. I've seen the tantrums, the pleading, the blackmail, the drama... Most women would have more pride and self-worth than to go through all that for a guy who clearly isn't interested in the same kind of commitment. But there are a few who will still do whatever it take to wring a marriage proposal out of their bf. And the splashy wedding etc. seem to be an intrinsic part of this peculiar syndrome. I've never seen woman over 30 go through all that just to get married...
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