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Getting married in your 20s (or teens!) is extremely rare where I live. I only know of one example, and they were high school sweethearts who had been together 8 years when they married.
Most women aren't. But there are some young women who go on the warpath with the bf to get that diamond ring. I've seen the tantrums, the pleading, the blackmail, the drama... Most women would have more pride and self-worth than to go through all that for a guy who clearly isn't interested in the same kind of commitment. But there are a few who will still do whatever it take to wring a marriage proposal out of their bf. And the splashy wedding etc. seem to be an intrinsic part of this peculiar syndrome. I've never seen woman over 30 go through all that just to get married...
Right, a few. It's a fringe phenomenon, nothing you can generalize to be a broad trend or a common experience.
They're also irrelevant to women who don't want kids, and there are quite a few of those.
I wonder about this. Broadly, the question is whether child-free people operate under altogether different psychological constructs than those who wish to become parents (or who are already parents). My impression is that the answer is "no". That is, the basic rubrics of attraction, of timing of major decisions in life and so forth, are essentially the same. The reason, I think, is that the genetic predisposition that so guides our preferences is geared towards reproduction. This impetus remains operative whether or not our conscious preferences are pro-natalist or anti-natalist.
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Originally Posted by NewbiePoster
The midwest is brutal. I think there are either geographic issues involved with the OP's views, or he's just posting to rile people.
"Brutal" is a bit of an exaggeration, but broadly I agree. The Midwest - outside of the cores of the principal cities or the college-towns, remains mired in the cultural idiom of the 1950s. The racism and gender inequality is mostly gone, but the "family-oriented" atmosphere - in the most stodgy and benighted sense - remains operative. Again, I can not cite overt pressure to get married and to have kids, but there is strong implicit pressure. If "everyone is doing it", transforming their lives from baggage-free singledom to staid and restrained family life, where does that leave the remaining stalwarts? This is implicit peer pressure. There are no imprecations or snide remarks, no casual jabs. But who wants to be left behind? Who wants to be literally the only single person in an office of 50?
And we all know reality shows fairly represent....reality.
But you can't even make a reality show unless you can attract thousands of people willing to debase themselves for their 15 minutes of fame, so they can be screened for just the right fit.
Where i grew up this is true most were married by the time they hit 30. Where I live now it's not uncommon for people in their 30s to be single or married at one point and now divorced. I think I've encountered more happily single people than happily married people. Take your time.
Where i grew up this is true most were married by the time they hit 30. Where I live now it's not uncommon for people in their 30s to be single or married at one point and now divorced. I think I've encountered more happily single people than happily married people. Take your time.
There's definitely a geographic component to it. It may relate to class differences, too, idk.
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