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The brain, what a wonderful thing. You know how it works, you repeat a thought, activity, whatever it is a few times and then your brain is kind of re-routed to connect those things together...this persons face equals that memory, this song equals this memory...etc etc etcetera...In other words, you trained yourself to have this reaction to him, so now you have to untrain yourself.
Everyone here has probably had the same issue, including myself. What sucks is, its been a year and I'm still finding him popping into my head at weired times...lovely.
It doesn't mean I'm going to die alone, or that I'm never going to love again, it does mean to me that I need to wait a little bit before trying to get someone else into my hung up state. And I will when I'm ready.
I bet you will too, it just takes time, like they always say.
You will be alright, its not going to be forever...just take it a little at a time, and then before you know it, you'll be where you feel better.
I'll admit I'm weak. I have been single for a long while and pains me more when a guy cancels on me. Or rejects me. I feel miserable. Lonely and depressed. More like doomed i'll never find someone to love me. I don't want to die alone. I just want these feelings and emotions leave me.
Don't emotionally invest and find your answer early. If you are a woman and you like a guy, make it known before you get attached to him at all.
If it is much later, and you are dumped, then just counter that with thinking about the good times and life experiences you had. I have never been upset, at least that upset about being dumped.
If you get rejected in mass quantity (like me), then you chalk it up to being a less attractive guy and being part of the game. If you're a woman who gets rejected in mass quantity, then that is a more unique situation, I'll have to get back to you with that answer.
But basically, if you get too torn up over someone you don't even know that well, then you're just quite simply screwed. Life and people and relationships are about turnover and finding the next best thing. If you are not accustomed to moving on, life will steamroll you.
I'll admit I'm weak. I have been single for a long while and pains me more when a guy cancels on me. Or rejects me. I feel miserable. Lonely and depressed. More like doomed i'll never find someone to love me. I don't want to die alone. I just want these feelings and emotions leave me.
Nope, no way to force it, the only thing you can do is fill your life with friends and other people and other activities. Try things with other people you've never done before. I had a guy friend take me to a driving range and teach me how to hold the club and I accomplished something I never did before. He said he was going and I just asked if I could go with him. While both of us are good cooks, my SIL and I are going to take a cooking course. I'm looking into going back to advanced art school. I enjoy doing things with my 14 year nephew, his first college basketball game, his first concert and teaching him to play pool....and so forth. I don't sit home and dwell on what's not there I'm out taking advantage of what's there.
You are in a state of inaction and so you are stuck in a specific time and place and the only thing that will change that is action.
I also caution you that if you met someone you are interested in your desperation about not wanting to die alone, loneliness and depression may be shinning through loud and clear and that's why you have rejections and cancellations. People like people who are happy without someone else and they are an added benefit not the be all end all of your happiness -they want a date not a project.
Move on with life. There is a lot of truth in the "fake it till you make it" philosophy. After a certain point in time, you're not just going through the motions of putting somebody out of your mind...you actually will have.
I'll admit I'm weak. I have been single for a long while and pains me more when a guy cancels on me. Or rejects me. I feel miserable. Lonely and depressed. More like doomed i'll never find someone to love me. I don't want to die alone. I just want these feelings and emotions leave me.
The fact that you have to erase someone you've never met or barely know from your memory is the problem. They shouldn't effect you like that.
It seems like you are projecting onto strangers what you want, "they will be the one, they will relieve your loneliness, without this person I will never be loved".
That's ALOT to put on a stranger! You need to get yourself happy being alone, so you're not looking at each date as some sort of salvation.
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The brain, what a wonderful thing. You know how it works, you repeat a thought, activity, whatever it is a few times and then your brain is kind of re-routed to connect those things together...this persons face equals that memory, this song equals this memory...etc etc etcetera...In other words, you trained yourself to have this reaction to him, so now you have to untrain yourself.
Everyone here has probably had the same issue, including myself. What sucks is, its been a year and I'm still finding him popping into my head at weired times...lovely.
It doesn't mean I'm going to die alone, or that I'm never going to love again, it does mean to me that I need to wait a little bit before trying to get someone else into my hung up state. And I will when I'm ready.
I bet you will too, it just takes time, like they always say.
You will be alright, its not going to be forever...just take it a little at a time, and then before you know it, you'll be where you feel better.
Pretty much. A d the revaluation that you're past it can come at the strangest times. Lol. To this day, I have a memory of a loss from long ago. It tore me apart. Got the scars to prove it. I will never forget that face, and it is linked to so many parts of my brain, it triggers on next to anything. But I made friends with it, and now, it helps guide me instead of attacking me. Sometimes, its best not to fight to much. You might be beating a friend to death in the dark. Turn on the lights before you get to shooting.
Any foolproof strategies on forgetting or erasing someone from your memory?
Find a hobby. Keep yourself busy. Learn about what interests you. Focus on taking good care of your health. Engage in activities that nourish you and inspire you with new passions in life.
In other words, first focus on what makes you happy. When you're happy, you will meet people who resonate with you along your wavelength.
Wow you people commenting are mean.. Geese! Who hasn't thought about this?
Like "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind"
Who hasn't wanted to erase memories?
I heard taking drugs can kill brain cells..
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