Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The fact that you have to erase someone you've never met or barely know from your memory is the problem. They shouldn't effect you like that.
It seems like you are projecting onto strangers what you want, "they will be the one, they will relieve your loneliness, without this person I will never be loved".
That's ALOT to put on a stranger! You need to get yourself happy being alone, so you're not looking at each date as some sort of salvation.
I saw that disconnect, too. I could understand the end of a long-term relationship. Then I'd suggest guided visualization--your pain like a grain of sand in your palm that you blow into the dunes, the image of your ex in your rearview mirror getting smaller and smaller as you drive away, a turd that you push out and flush away, whatever.
But someone you barely now? Nah, that's putting the responsibility for your happiness on someone else's shoulders, and that's not fair to the other person.
I saw that disconnect, too. I could understand the end of a long-term relationship. Then I'd suggest guided visualization--your pain like a grain of sand in your palm that you blow into the dunes, the image of your ex in your rearview mirror getting smaller and smaller as you drive away, a turd that you push out and flush away, whatever.
But someone you barely now? Nah, that's putting the responsibility for your happiness on someone else's shoulders, and that's not fair to the other person.
You were getting very profound, which was making me feel somewhat melancholy thinking of heartaches past, but the turd analogy saved the day!
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
I'll admit I'm weak. I have been single for a long while and pains me more when a guy cancels on me. Or rejects me. I feel miserable. Lonely and depressed. More like doomed i'll never find someone to love me. I don't want to die alone. I just want these feelings and emotions leave me.
This doesn't sound like it's a matter of you being weak, it sounds like you're giving your power away. Sounds like you need to get to know who you are and learn how to be quiet within. Do you meditate or yoga ? Just a suggestion, maybe take a class and learn, or DVDs. What about some type of support group ? Have you thought about talking with a therapist ? Journaling is also a wonderful way to process your thoughts and feelings. It's good that you're reaching out, there's so much available to help you. I hope you find the right self-care for you, don't suffer like this, you don't need to. Life is meant to be joyous. ~ I wish you well ~ Blessings
OP, I left an abusive/toxic relationship 14 months ago; and though I have slipped up and spoke with him via phone, I have not let him back into my life (even though I miss him VERY much, I'm conflicted) I am in nursing school, raising my 12 year old, and juggling a few part time jobs. When I do have free time I go OUT with my girlfriends. The key is to STAY BUSY, VERY BUSY. I literally only have time to miss him and be lonely for a few minutes each night, then I am snoring.
So you need to
1. Get some GOOD friends
2. Get a hobby or take a class
3. make a list of qualities you want in your next relationship and stick with it.
This doesn't sound like it's a matter of you being weak, it sounds like you're giving your power away. Sounds like you need to get to know who you are and learn how to be quiet within. Do you meditate or yoga ? Just a suggestion, maybe take a class and learn, or DVDs. What about some type of support group ? Have you thought about talking with a therapist ? Journaling is also a wonderful way to process your thoughts and feelings. It's good that you're reaching out, there's so much available to help you. I hope you find the right self-care for you, don't suffer like this, you don't need to. Life is meant to be joyous. ~ I wish you well ~ Blessings
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
and learn how to be quiet within. Do you meditate or yoga ? Just a suggestion, maybe take a class and learn, or DVDs. What about some type of support group ? Have you thought about talking with a therapist ? Journaling is also a wonderful way to process your thoughts and feelings. It's good that you're reaching out, there's so much available to help you. I hope you find the right self-care for you, don't suffer like this, you don't need to. Life is meant to be joyous. ~ I wish you well ~ Blessings
