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Please explain. I busted my @ss to become successful, because my first love told me she had no respect for me, because where I'm at now, she was at and beyond 5 years ago. Someone else may not be fine with my success, but I'm very happy with what I've personally accomplished. Even more so of where I was 5 years ago and moving back in with my Mother. I took what she said as motivation to improve myself, and what I discovered is some people flat out get left behind. Just as easily as I was left behind, I've also left people behind as well. Life is constantly evolving and changing.
Most of my friends met their spouses in their 20s too, which might explain why so many of them are now divorced.
I believe that the older you get, the harder it becomes to find compatibility, but mainly because you have a much better idea of who you're compatible with. Young people are less likely to thing about such things because they're too focused on looks and chemistry. It's only after they've been married a few years that they discover that love doesn't conquer all.
The older we get, the more experience we gain. You can call that baggage if you wish. But I see experience as a plus, not a minus. As for becoming too set in your ways, another way of looking at it is people gain a clearer idea of what they want, what they don't want, when to compromise, and when not to. When someone describes someone else as being too set in their ways, it makes me immediately ask "are you wanting to change them?"
And as far as authentic relationships go, they may be harder to find. But I think your chances of having one after you do find someone actually go up. Because when you're older, you're less likely to play the games young people play. You and the other person know what it is each of you wants and doesn't want.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by weezerfan84
Please explain. I busted my @ss to become successful, because my first love told me she had no respect for me, because where I'm at now, she was at and beyond 5 years ago. Someone else may not be fine with my success, but I'm very happy with what I've personally accomplished. Even more so of where I was 5 years ago and moving back in with my Mother. I took what she said as motivation to improve myself, and what I discovered is some people flat out get left behind. Just as easily as I was left behind, I've also left people behind as well. Life is constantly evolving and changing.
That's cool, man. I don't think there was any criticism of you there. Just that it was a sad outlook. Not necessarily incorrect (I think you made some good points), just sad.
I'm a bit jaded and cynical at relationships. I don't like it, but it's where I am. That makes me sad as well.
That's cool, man. I don't think there was any criticism of you there. Just that it was a sad outlook. Not necessarily incorrect (I think you made some good points), just sad.
I'm a bit jaded and cynical at relationships. I don't like it, but it's where I am. That makes me sad as well.
It makes me sad at times too, but you know what, that's my reality (). My friends who are in relationships are always like you should get out more and try new things. They aren't wrong by what they're saying, but something that doesn't seem fun to me, is being busy from sun up till sun down 7 days a week. I tend to be busier when I'm in a relationship, because that's what I tend to like to do. A partner, or even a potential partner, is going to push me to do more. Trying many activities by myself is not my idea of fun. I can admit that I'm a mixture of introverted and extroverted.
Our sad look does have some truth to it though. If you are seeking more you have to be able to provide more as well.
At 35, I was still dating men who were single, never married, like myself. The future was viewed as starting a new life together, were it to go that far. The possibility of a family was still there for both of us. It was not any different than dating in the 20s.
After 40, the men who were available and who I dated were increasingly divorced, involved in the lives of their teenaged children, had possible caretaker responsibilities of aging parents or were aging themselves and looking for a shoulder to cry on or a caretaker. Many of them also have a difficult time cutting the cord from the previous relationship. Having a family was off the table because they already had all the children they could support. I have had difficulty finding someone who wants to start a new chapter or adventure with someone new. The never married seem to also be set in their ways around this point.
Please explain. I busted my @ss to become successful, because my first love told me she had no respect for me, because where I'm at now, she was at and beyond 5 years ago. Someone else may not be fine with my success, but I'm very happy with what I've personally accomplished. Even more so of where I was 5 years ago and moving back in with my Mother. I took what she said as motivation to improve myself, and what I discovered is some people flat out get left behind. Just as easily as I was left behind, I've also left people behind as well. Life is constantly evolving and changing.
I wasn't trying to criticize you and while you make some valid points, my gut thought after reading your post was it just sounded bleak and depressing......
I guess I'm trying to see things from a differing perspective as I have a tendency to view things from a darker perspective.
One thing I hear pretty consistently is how 40 becomes this cutoff, the age where women suddenly become invisible to men. I personally don't believe that, but a lot of these women did. I've also met men who said the same thing about 50, that once they turned 50, women stopped paying attention to them. I haven't reached 40 yet. And while dating in my 30s is very different than it was in my 20s, I don't remember it being a sudden change.
When people complain about feeling invisible and not getting the looks they did in their college days, what many people forget is that there are just plainly fewer people available to look at us. If people married at 18, 25 year olds would feel invisible.
At What Age Did You Feel Dating Changed Dramatically?
22
What's your experience been?
Way more older guys were approaching me which I found gross. As well as ironic since they'd be defensiveness/antagonistic about me rejecting them for their age when they were pursuing me for my age. It seemed their notion was it's okay for them to find my age desirable but not okay for me to find their age undesirable.
Haven't experienced being invisible yet... and I'm 46. Maybe when I hit 50, if I don't take care of myself. and stop having a personality.
So far I've never felt like there's a shortage of dates, dates that are relationship material are less common, but always can find a date.
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). My friends who are in relationships are always like you should get out more and try new things. They aren't wrong by what they're saying, but something that doesn't seem fun to me, is being busy from sun up till sun down 7 days a week. I tend to be busier when I'm in a relationship, because that's what I tend to like to do. A partner, or even a potential partner, is going to push me to do more. Trying many activities by myself is not my idea of fun. I can admit that I'm a mixture of introverted and extroverted. 
and stop having a personality. 
