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well, there is a cute girl that I see at work. She does not work in my company but rather the adjacent company (it's a business complex). We have exchanged glances several times and smiled, but that's about it. Always wanted to approach but i'm not quite sure how to do this as I've always done the online dating thing which is much more direct OR if i've talked to someone it's because I knew them through mutual friends.
Yesterday I was out on the phone when she is heading home I spot her and look at her, she looks back and waves a "bye" at me with a smile. Does that mean she is just being friendly or do I interpret that an an invitation to approach to talk to her next time? I smiled back and acknowledged but since I was on the phone I couldn't do anything more.
Here is the thing... if I approach her, since I have no idea about what she even likes to talk about etc. what do I say exactly? What kind of conversation do people have when they cold approach? I don't want to use some cheesy pickup line because that would be disaster I think, but I also don't want to do something that will make myself appear creepy or desperate because women run away from that.
I've always thought randomly chatting up women I don't know appears stalkerish so have avoided it...opinions?
well, I'm definitely going to try it but the more I think about it I get pressured that I am going to screw it up and feel like avoiding it altogether LOL! I think I am going to go to her and say "You are my density"
I tend to be friendly and chat up strangers all the time--so I just say start chatting (don't ask her out the first time you talk to her--try to talk to her a few times first). Talk about something about the building you are in (if there is something to talk about) or the weather or compliment her on something that you like such as, "nice necklace, where did you get it?" or something like that. After you've talked to her a few times and the ice is broken then make a "warm" approach.
here is the thing... would I wait to get to know her a bit, perhaps chat up a few times before I ask if I can call her sometime? OR should I do it the very first time I chat with her?
Edit: @jillabean...that was my question, didn't see your post Thanks for the suggestion, yes, that sounds like a good way to do it...
well, I'm definitely going to try it but the more I think about it I get pressured that I am going to screw it up and feel like avoiding it altogether LOL! I think I am going to go to her and say "You are my density"
You are so cute. I was that girl (25 years ago) and I desperately wished that guy would come over and say "You are my density!" I would have made every effort to put you at ease while being nervous myself. We would have survived it. I would have been so happy to know that all my smiles, glances and finally, a little wave, had paid off.
You could use an old cliche like "We have to stop meeting like this." Or "So, do you come here often?" Say, Hi, I'm ___________. You work over at____________? You don't have to ask her out in the first 3 sentences. Just find out what her name is. Then next time you bump into her, compliment her __________.
Think about it this way. You probably interact with people you don't know all the time...waiters, cashiers, dentists, etc. Because you are approaching them in a specific environment, you have a script to follow when interacting with them. How often do you screw up those interactions? Make a fool of yourself? Leave feeling like you were rude? Probably not very often! So remind yourself that you do know how to approach a stranger and not fall on your face. It's just a shorter, more open ended script!
here is the thing... would I wait to get to know her a bit, perhaps chat up a few times before I ask if I can call her sometime? OR should I do it the very first time I chat with her?
Edit: @jillabean...that was my question, didn't see your post Thanks for the suggestion, yes, that sounds like a good way to do it...
You got to think of it like Jazz. It's all about improvisation. See where the conversation is going and you'll know whether it's appropriate to ask for her number.
"Hey, I see you here all the time and just never get the chance to stop and talk. I'm k374. I work upstairs at XYZTek."
Ask her where she works and what she does.
It's really not that difficult.
DON'T ask her out the first time, and don't "chat her up."
She's a person with feelings, not a "goal" for you. Be interested. Get to know her. Someday the opportunity will present itself to say, "Wanna grab some lunch tomorrow?"
Be patient.
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