Been single too long. I have questions (dating, boyfriend, girlfriend)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I will be straight up and as honest as possible so I can get honest replies back.
Okay, so I was in a longer relationship(5-6 years) from about 16 to 21. I cared about her ALOT. She dumped me one day(her friend was pushing her to do it). I will be a man and admit, I could have been a better boyfriend, but she also could have been a better girlfriend. ANYWAY, fast foward to 6 years later and I just turned 27 last month. It took me a while to get over her but I think that was normal. So, now that I am pretty much over it(not much residue left), I have been looking for a potential GF for a while now. Im talking about 3 solid years. I have changed A LOT about myself since I have been single for my own good and no one elses. Becoming single at that moment was a very good thing for me. It forced me to learn who I am. When you are single for 6 years, you have a lot of "me" time. To speed this up, I have tried for phone numbers(been shot down), acquired female buddies(2) and have been scrutinized for even trying. All in all, I have had bad experiences in the dating world. And I would like to add that I am NOT desperate. I personally know 2 girls right now that would date me at a moments notice, I just don't want to waste their time and my time when I know that im not really interested in them. Im a decent looking guy, 5'10 160 lbs and I am athletic(im a cyclist). I dress a little like a skater(won't change this really, I like the way I dress). I have a great job(process controls), and I am trying to finish out school also, if my work hours will let me(I work a TON. I like money). I drive an M3 because im a car guy(I own/built 2 other cars also).
I have somewhat given up hope on finding a girl. I keep reading "once you stop caring, she will come along". Thats B.S. because I have kind of stopped caring for a little while now and no one has come.There are not women at my job so thats out of the question. There are only 2 people that work there, me and the owner. LOL. Because of my lifestyle, I also dont have many friends. MAYBE 3. I wouldnt consider myself to be a TOTAL nice guy although I somewhat am(I have done my fair share of rudeness and not on purpose).
My questions are:
What do women beteween 24 and 35 want? Seems like they fish for the "bottom of the barrel" type(im not saying im perfect) but they want a decent guy that has a future. Im confused.
How many of you have been single for 6+ years and somehow got out of it?
For the people that have been single for a long time, how do you stop caring about being single and accept the fact that you might be alone the rest of your life?
How do you stay positive if people around you are constantly sucking face(kissing, PDA,etc.) with the other gender?
I really want to know peoples thoughts are on the 3rd question because I think thats were I am headed unfortunately. I want to stop caring.
Be easy on the responses(that goes for both guys and girls) and give me useful information. Thanks a bunch.
I will be straight up and as honest as possible so I can get honest replies back.
Okay, so I was in a longer relationship(5-6 years) from about 16 to 21. I cared about her ALOT. She dumped me one day(her friend was pushing her to do it). I will be a man and admit, I could have been a better boyfriend, but she also could have been a better girlfriend. ANYWAY, fast foward to 6 years later and I just turned 27 last month. It took me a while to get over her but I think that was normal. So, now that I am pretty much over it(not much residue left), I have been looking for a potential GF for a while now. Im talking about 3 solid years. I have changed A LOT about myself since I have been single for my own good and no one elses. Becoming single at that moment was a very good thing for me. It forced me to learn who I am. When you are single for 6 years, you have a lot of "me" time. To speed this up, I have tried for phone numbers(been shot down), acquired female buddies(2) and have been scrutinized for even trying. All in all, I have had bad experiences in the dating world. And I would like to add that I am NOT desperate. I personally know 2 girls right now that would date me at a moments notice, I just don't want to waste their time and my time when I know that im not really interested in them. Im a decent looking guy, 5'10 160 lbs and I am athletic(im a cyclist). I dress a little like a skater(won't change this really, I like the way I dress). I have a great job(process controls), and I am trying to finish out school also, if my work hours will let me(I work a TON. I like money). I drive an M3 because im a car guy(I own/built 2 other cars also).
I have somewhat given up hope on finding a girl. I keep reading "once you stop caring, she will come along". Thats B.S. because I have kind of stopped caring for a little while now and no one has come.There are not women at my job so thats out of the question. There are only 2 people that work there, me and the owner. LOL. Because of my lifestyle, I also dont have many friends. MAYBE 3. I wouldnt consider myself to be a TOTAL nice guy although I somewhat am(I have done my fair share of rudeness and not on purpose).
My questions are:
What do women beteween 24 and 35 want? Seems like they fish for the "bottom of the barrel" type(im not saying im perfect) but they want a decent guy that has a future. Im confused.
How many of you have been single for 6+ years and somehow got out of it?
For the people that have been single for a long time, how do you stop caring about being single and accept the fact that you might be alone the rest of your life?
How do you stay positive if people around you are constantly sucking face(kissing, PDA,etc.) with the other gender?
I really want to know peoples thoughts are on the 3rd question because I think thats were I am headed unfortunately. I want to stop caring.
Be easy on the responses(that goes for both guys and girls) and give me useful information. Thanks a bunch.
Deep down, OP, what do you REALLY think is the problem?
It's normal to be single for a long time like you have.
Girls know this, because we talk to each other. But sometimes guys don't know that what they are going through is normal -- because other guys lie about their success.
What kind of woman do you want to meet? And where does a woman like that hang out? And are you hanging out where she does?
The other really useful thing is counseling. Counseling is not for broken people. It is for healthy people who want to stay healthy. And it works wonders for your dating life.
Okay, so I was in a longer relationship(5-6 years) from about 16 to 21.
She dumped me one day
I have been looking for a potential GF for ... about 3 solid years.
That was a mistake.
It's still too soon to be looking for serious.
Quote:
ANYWAY, fast forward to 6 years later and I just turned 27 last month.
I'm a decent looking guy, 5'10 160 lbs and I am athletic (im a cyclist).
Do you have a decent job?
You should be enjoying 20something singledom. And lots of it. Seriously.
Date. Travel. Do. You'll stumble across plenty of interesting women.
Have fun with them. Be nice. Be kind. Pick up a tab now and then.
Quote:
What do women between 24 and 35 want?
Everything you can imagine.
The question is what THIS woman or THAT woman wants.
Don't get distracted by the forest or you wont see the trees.
SEE the trees. Appreciate what makes each unique.
In time and when you least expect it...
one of these women will reveal themselves to you as the right sort.
Follow that up.
I've been single a long time, and just recently rejoined the dating scene. While I'd like to report that it was GREAT, it really wasn't. I had a lot of disappointing experiences because I went into it with the same problems that I had before I became single.
While I've been working on my stuff all these years, I have had a few brushes with relationships that didn't turn into anything that I would have liked, or that I felt I wanted. They did however teach me some valuable lessons.
First, do not go into dating with a sense of loneliness. I thought I wasn't feeling that way, but once I started trying to date, every negative thing really got to me, and seemed hard to keep going... Don't go into it with reasons to reject someone else, just go with an open mind and a healthy sense of boundaries. If you have a long list in your head of red flags everything someone else says or does turns into a potential reason to never see them again. Respect yourself, and other people by listening to everything, and paying attention to what you are saying and doing. Be honest.
They'll tell you right away what they want and need, if you know that isn't you, and you know they aren't for you, just brush it off, the right thing may come along eventually, this is part of the process, not everyone that comes into your life is going to stay. But, you already knew that. Right?
If I read between the lines of what you are saying, I see that you ARE feeling somewhat lonely, you have a lot of fears and apprehensions about dating and putting your heart out there. And for good reason, it can really hurt to like someone a lot only to have them not feel the same about you. But, you have to get up and try again, it isn't easy.
Its our nature to want and need companionship, touching, and love. And we will keep trying. The best thing to do for yourself is know yourself, know what you want and need, and be willing to appreciate each unique person that comes into your life without a lot of harsh judgements. Just like MrRational suggested.
Dating can be fun, and educational, and bring a lot of good things into your life. It just takes some strategy and an intellegent approach to it.
That was a mistake.
It's still too soon to be looking for serious.
Do you have a decent job?
You should be enjoying 20something singledom. And lots of it. Seriously.
Date. Travel. Do. You'll stumble across plenty of interesting women.
Have fun with them. Be nice. Be kind. Pick up a tab now and then.
Everything you can imagine.
The question is what THIS woman or THAT woman wants.
Don't get distracted by the forest or you wont see the trees.
SEE the trees. Appreciate what makes each unique.
In time and when you least expect it...
one of these women will reveal themselves to you as the right sort.
Follow that up.
3 years too soon?! LOL. But yes I have a decent job. I work in process controls(I don't feel like explaining what it is. LOL). It pays well and I like my career.
It's normal to be single for a long time like you have.
Girls know this, because we talk to each other. But sometimes guys don't know that what they are going through is normal -- because other guys lie about their success.
What kind of woman do you want to meet? And where does a woman like that hang out? And are you hanging out where she does?
The other really useful thing is counseling. Counseling is not for broken people. It is for healthy people who want to stay healthy. And it works wonders for your dating life.
That's the thing. I like different women everything from the valley girls to the hip hop girls to the metalhead girls. So I have a VERY big spectrum. I love the professional ones too.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
