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I met my amazing boyfriend 3 and a half months ago, and we have a really great thing going on. I feel very differently about him than I have about anyone I have dated in the past, and he feels the same. I'm 27, but am a student still, finishing up a second degree. He works, doesn't make a ton of money, but has a good amount of money saved (~31k) and a lot of money invested. I've been living off a scholarship the last few months which had me tightly budgeted, but it was doable. Due to some bureaucratic issues I won't be receiving my next scholarship check until 8 weeks later than I expected. I'm broke. At the same time, I have a $4000 outstanding tuition bill that my scholarship does not cover that I have to find a way to pay. My boyfriend knows that I've been super stressed out trying to figure out what to do, and he keeps offering to help me financially, but I'm having a LOT of trouble accepting his help. I know that he's only offering because he cares, but I cant help but to feel guilty taking anything from him. On top of that he keeps paying for everything whenever we go out or do anything, and even though I tell him how grateful I am constantly I still feel guilty that I'm not contributing more.
Your situation isn't clear. Are you saying that in addition to whatever problem will happen due to the delay in your scholarship check, you owe $4000? Your scholarship falls $4000 short every year? Even if the check comes on time? So you won't be able to pay your bf back when the scholarship check comes?
Explain, please. If you won't be able to pay him back, you should get a student loan. If this is going to happen every year, you need to find a permanent solution, like applying for a work-study job at the university, or getting a part-time job.
Ok, let me clarify. I took out the maximum amount of federal student loans that I can take out for this school year (which is not a lot). I was able to take out some private student loans for my prior degree, but I'm not able to obtain any more private loans because I do not have a creditworthy cosigner and I've reached the maximum that I can take out on my own (which is also not a lot, just under 30k). I received a scholarship that covers my living expenses, but it does not cover tuition. It's essentially a stipend. I don't qualify for any grants, and my school offers very limited work study opportunities. My scholarship requires that I dedicate a certain number of hours per week toward research which makes finding a part time job difficult. I usually receive a stipend/scholarship payment once per month. There was a delay in the funding due to something that has to do with the budget, where payment that I usually get October 1st is delayed, and they predict that my November 1st payment will also be a little late. Like I said, I'm on a very tight budget and don't have the resources to cover this period of time. On top of this, the gap between what I was able to cover with my federal loans and my savings, and what my tuition is amounts to a hair over $4000, which is due very soon. So. That's why I'm in this situation. I was always going to be $4,000 short and have been working on trying to come up with additional money. I'm still short, which is why I set up a crowdfunding website at the urging of some friends and family. But I still somehow feel strange about accepting financial help from my boyfriend, perhaps because I don't want him to think that I expect that somehow. I don't know how to fully explain it. I think I would be ok with asking him to help lend me some money and I can pay him back once I get the payments.
But I still somehow feel strange about accepting financial help from my boyfriend, perhaps because I don't want him to think that I expect that somehow. I don't know how to fully explain it. I think I would be ok with asking him to help lend me some money and I can pay him back once I get the payments.
Write something down. Come up with a Loan Repayment Schedule & Terms. Treat this as a business deal. No hard feelings.
I met my amazing boyfriend 3 and a half months ago, and we have a really great thing going on. I feel very differently about him than I have about anyone I have dated in the past, and he feels the same. I'm 27, but am a student still, finishing up a second degree. He works, doesn't make a ton of money, but has a good amount of money saved (~31k) and a lot of money invested. I've been living off a scholarship the last few months which had me tightly budgeted, but it was doable. Due to some bureaucratic issues I won't be receiving my next scholarship check until 8 weeks later than I expected. I'm broke. At the same time, I have a $4000 outstanding tuition bill that my scholarship does not cover that I have to find a way to pay. My boyfriend knows that I've been super stressed out trying to figure out what to do, and he keeps offering to help me financially, but I'm having a LOT of trouble accepting his help. I know that he's only offering because he cares, but I cant help but to feel guilty taking anything from him. On top of that he keeps paying for everything whenever we go out or do anything, and even though I tell him how grateful I am constantly I still feel guilty that I'm not contributing more.
Today I decided to put together one of those crowdfunding websites to see if I could raise any money toward my tuition, and I've managed to raise nearly $1,000 in a few hours- needless to say I have great friends. Problem is I don't know what to say to my boyfriend. I don't want him to feel bad that he offered to help me out dozens of times and I turned him down only to turn to friends/the general public. I just don't want money to somehow come between us, and I worry that it would if I took any from him.
What would you do in a situation like this?
Crowd funding and Brooklyn. Let me guess Williamsburg?
Get an evening job in a bar/restaurant a few hours per week. Doesn't interfere with classes or research at all.
This. It sounds like the $4000 shortfall is going to be annual, and it's independent of the cashflow problem caused by the late scholarship check. So what does the OP plan to do for the next 3 years, after she borrows money for this year? Go back to the bf every year? Not a good scene. OP needs to face reality and get a waitress job 2-3 nights/week. It may seem like low pay, but tips can make a big difference. You need to make this budget work, so you're not always having to go begging online or to your bf. If you're in grad school, you should be able to get a teaching assistant job in your department.
Last edited by NewbiePoster; 10-07-2014 at 04:13 PM..
I'm sorry, but I can't believe you had the nerve to ask your friends to pay your tuition. Why don't you get a job? Your research requirements can't be all that crazy unless you're a PhD candidate. Why can't you waitress on the weekends or something?
I met my amazing boyfriend 3 and a half months ago, and we have a really great thing going on. I feel very differently about him than I have about anyone I have dated in the past, and he feels the same. I'm 27, but am a student still, finishing up a second degree. He works, doesn't make a ton of money, but has a good amount of money saved (~31k) and a lot of money invested. I've been living off a scholarship the last few months which had me tightly budgeted, but it was doable. Due to some bureaucratic issues I won't be receiving my next scholarship check until 8 weeks later than I expected. I'm broke. At the same time, I have a $4000 outstanding tuition bill that my scholarship does not cover that I have to find a way to pay. My boyfriend knows that I've been super stressed out trying to figure out what to do, and he keeps offering to help me financially, but I'm having a LOT of trouble accepting his help. I know that he's only offering because he cares, but I cant help but to feel guilty taking anything from him. On top of that he keeps paying for everything whenever we go out or do anything, and even though I tell him how grateful I am constantly I still feel guilty that I'm not contributing more.
Today I decided to put together one of those crowdfunding websites to see if I could raise any money toward my tuition, and I've managed to raise nearly $1,000 in a few hours- needless to say I have great friends. Problem is I don't know what to say to my boyfriend. I don't want him to feel bad that he offered to help me out dozens of times and I turned him down only to turn to friends/the general public. I just don't want money to somehow come between us, and I worry that it would if I took any from him.
What would you do in a situation like this?
So you don't work, already have a degree, just go to school and let others pay for your life? Yes, you are absolutely right, it doesn't sound fair.
Get a job like everybody else. I work full time, go to school fulltime and still have enough time for hobbies. If I can do it, you can do it easily.
Ok, let me clarify. I took out the maximum amount of federal student loans that I can take out for this school year (which is not a lot). I was able to take out some private student loans for my prior degree, but I'm not able to obtain any more private loans because I do not have a creditworthy cosigner and I've reached the maximum that I can take out on my own (which is also not a lot, just under 30k). I received a scholarship that covers my living expenses, but it does not cover tuition. It's essentially a stipend. I don't qualify for any grants, and my school offers very limited work study opportunities. My scholarship requires that I dedicate a certain number of hours per week toward research which makes finding a part time job difficult. I usually receive a stipend/scholarship payment once per month. There was a delay in the funding due to something that has to do with the budget, where payment that I usually get October 1st is delayed, and they predict that my November 1st payment will also be a little late. Like I said, I'm on a very tight budget and don't have the resources to cover this period of time. On top of this, the gap between what I was able to cover with my federal loans and my savings, and what my tuition is amounts to a hair over $4000, which is due very soon. So. That's why I'm in this situation. I was always going to be $4,000 short and have been working on trying to come up with additional money. I'm still short, which is why I set up a crowdfunding website at the urging of some friends and family. But I still somehow feel strange about accepting financial help from my boyfriend, perhaps because I don't want him to think that I expect that somehow. I don't know how to fully explain it. I think I would be ok with asking him to help lend me some money and I can pay him back once I get the payments.
well if both of you are responsible people, mixing money with relationship should be a non-issue. I am always amazed at those who claim that you should never mix money with relationship. Then when should "mixing" start? In your wedding night?
If money is mixed before marriage and there is no problem, the relationship is most likely grow with little problems. For example, one of my ex and I had a joint account because he taught me how to invest. I put in $2000 and I figured If I lost it all, it was not a big of a deal. I learned a lot about his character, his financial ability, and his way of doing things. I can honestly say having a joint account helped our relationship. So it depends on the situation, people, and scenario. There is no one size fits all way to deal with relationship issues.
If you can treat this as a loan and if he can ALSO treat this as a loan. Write it down, come up with a schedule and term. No verbal agreement. Like I said, even pay him with a little bit of interest. This way you won't feel you owe him anything. He get a little bit return for investing in you.
How about take the money from him, pay him back with a reasonable interest (say 6% per year).
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