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I met my amazing boyfriend 3 and a half months ago, and we have a really great thing going on. I feel very differently about him than I have about anyone I have dated in the past, and he feels the same. I'm 27, but am a student still, finishing up a second degree. He works, doesn't make a ton of money, but has a good amount of money saved (~31k) and a lot of money invested. I've been living off a scholarship the last few months which had me tightly budgeted, but it was doable. Due to some bureaucratic issues I won't be receiving my next scholarship check until 8 weeks later than I expected. I'm broke. At the same time, I have a $4000 outstanding tuition bill that my scholarship does not cover that I have to find a way to pay. My boyfriend knows that I've been super stressed out trying to figure out what to do, and he keeps offering to help me financially, but I'm having a LOT of trouble accepting his help. I know that he's only offering because he cares, but I cant help but to feel guilty taking anything from him. On top of that he keeps paying for everything whenever we go out or do anything, and even though I tell him how grateful I am constantly I still feel guilty that I'm not contributing more.
Today I decided to put together one of those crowdfunding websites to see if I could raise any money toward my tuition, and I've managed to raise nearly $1,000 in a few hours- needless to say I have great friends. Problem is I don't know what to say to my boyfriend. I don't want him to feel bad that he offered to help me out dozens of times and I turned him down only to turn to friends/the general public. I just don't want money to somehow come between us, and I worry that it would if I took any from him.
What would you do in a situation like this?
Why not take a wee bit to get you through the next 8 weeks and sign a note that you will pay him back as soon as the scholarship money comes through.
That way you are covered for now, he has helped you as he wants to and you know you will be paying him back in a few weeks.
Why not take a wee bit to get you through the next 8 weeks and sign a note that you will pay him back as soon as the scholarship money comes through.
That way you are covered for now, he has helped you as he wants to and you know you will be paying him back in a few weeks.
The problem is, the scholarship money doesn't pay for tuition. It pays for housing. So she'll still be short $4000 if she pays the bf back. Her tuition is paid by loans that leave her $4000 short every year. The only way she'd be able to pay him back is by getting a part-time job.
I don't understand why she can't get enough funds from student loans to cover her tuition. Doesn't make one bit of sense.
Reapply for the loan. Tell your bf to invest his money and the two of you can enjoy it together once you graduate.
She said she doesn't qualify for any more loan money. She got the max she was qualified for. She'd need a cosigner to get more, and she doesn't have anyone to cosign for her.
I met my amazing boyfriend 3 and a half months ago, and we have a really great thing going on. I feel very differently about him than I have about anyone I have dated in the past, and he feels the same. I'm 27, but am a student still, finishing up a second degree. He works, doesn't make a ton of money, but has a good amount of money saved (~31k) and a lot of money invested. I've been living off a scholarship the last few months which had me tightly budgeted, but it was doable. Due to some bureaucratic issues I won't be receiving my next scholarship check until 8 weeks later than I expected. I'm broke. At the same time, I have a $4000 outstanding tuition bill that my scholarship does not cover that I have to find a way to pay. My boyfriend knows that I've been super stressed out trying to figure out what to do, and he keeps offering to help me financially, but I'm having a LOT of trouble accepting his help. I know that he's only offering because he cares, but I cant help but to feel guilty taking anything from him. On top of that he keeps paying for everything whenever we go out or do anything, and even though I tell him how grateful I am constantly I still feel guilty that I'm not contributing more.
Today I decided to put together one of those crowdfunding websites to see if I could raise any money toward my tuition, and I've managed to raise nearly $1,000 in a few hours- needless to say I have great friends. Problem is I don't know what to say to my boyfriend. I don't want him to feel bad that he offered to help me out dozens of times and I turned him down only to turn to friends/the general public. I just don't want money to somehow come between us, and I worry that it would if I took any from him.
What would you do in a situation like this?
Can your parents lend you some money, instead?
If I were in your shoes, I would not want to impose or want to make anyone obligated in my life to help me with tuition.
I don't think you should feel guilty for not taking him on his offer. He's probably serious and wants to marry you? You're still sorting your life out, and I agree, if you don't feel comfortable with his financial support, don't do it.
You need not feel pressure ever. You're wanting to set appropriate boundaries with him and don't want to give off the vibes you depend on him or need him, financially, which is totally appropriate. I hate feeling obligated to anyone. Maybe that's how you feel too?
OP, there's no way around the fact that you'll have to find a part-time job. You can take up your bf on his offer, or for part of the amount, now, but next year (or is it next semester?) you'll be short another $4000.
I don't understand how it is that you were caught by surprise by this. Your financial aid for school doesn't cover all your expenses, so there's a chronic shortfall of $4000. You must have known this before this semester began, right? You did the math, and knew in advance you'd need $4000? I understand about the scholarship check being late, but that' doesn't address this $4000 shortfall, which is a separate issue. And you'll need savings to help you through that late-check period next semester and next year. The reality is that you need a job, at least a few nights/week, or a teaching assistantship, or else you can't afford to be in school.
Last edited by NewbiePoster; 10-07-2014 at 11:12 PM..
haha, OP is such an imposter. like a 27yo "college student"would be perplexed what to do in this situation with her generous bf of 3.5months. and no mention of the sex too.
I wont take the money 3 months dating is quiet too early to borrow money. The best thing is ask for a student loan either call for help from your family or friends you know for a long time. If you take the money you cannot dump him in case if he is an Ahole hope you understand what I am saying. It will tight a bond between you and him, and also he will try to point out you owe him lot of things because he paid your fees or what ever. so answer is NO don't.
He wants something in return. We all do, whether we verbalize it or not. Hopefully, you not only know what he wants, but you are also providing it to him already: a continuing exchange between partners for services rendered, with no hidden expectations of "special" rewards in the future
This is the basis of any good relationship.
Still, I'd go the loan route, if i had any doubts.
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