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College boys aren't men, they're horny boys; I know I was. I don't know how these guys are approaching you or vice versa, but maybe you're sending out the 'wrong signals." Maybe your body language says, "#### me"
In all seriousness, i think the courting days are over. I am rooting for you to meet a nice guy but that doesn't mean he's going to court you. He may be mr. shy who will allow you to make the first move.
I mean really though. I feel like the majority of the guys in today's world have lost what it means to respect and get to know a girl.
I've just been thinking the past few days about how I have yet to meet a guy at college so far that I'd consider a real 'man'. I don't know where they are hiding or if they actually exist. Every single guy I've met so far was only talking to me so that he can get laid. Which of course I understand is obvious, but it's the way they go about getting it. There are no dates and absolutely no "courting" or whatever it is when the guy is a gentleman. It's like sometimes these guys don't even want to hangout in the day, they just want to see you at night. Can it be more obvious? I'm just wondering at what age will I start to find men who want to actually date. I'm an attractive, single 20 year old girl and I'm having the hardest time finding a guy that genuinely just wants to get to know me.
I know I'm generalizing here, but just being around this age of guys in college has really opened up my eyes to how insane the behavior is sometimes. From witnessing friends deal with these kinds of guys as well countless experiences that I've dealt with.
Please tell me I'll have better luck the older I get?
You sound like a hopeless romantic woman. Women like this usually paint a picture that all men are jerks or are no good. Most likely you will need to be with a nice guy. Usually average women with a none hopeless romantic archetype do not date or enter relationships with nice guys even if they are desperate they will not do so. Men these days especially young men know that being nice is not going to get them what they want with average women today. Average women see nice guys or decent guys as average and anything average is boring, weak not strong, not challenging, not controlling and not worth changing. Not all but most women prefer bad boy type of guys most notably around the ages of 18 to the ages of 35, some will grow out of but some may never will. I came across women well pass their prime who still go after bad boy type of guys. Also note that you are a Millennial or part of the Gen Y population. Gen Y sex and dating parameters are different than those of Gen X and the Baby Boomers. We have social media, texting, selfies and other narcissistic nuances that aides opposite sex into getting together. Also since you're a millennial the hook up culture is very popular amongst this group. Some women even in your generation group prefer to have sex with guys even though their is no relationship.
I'm mid 40's... old school.... I think old school and I guess some might say I'm rigid... I don't want to be, I try and think outside the box, I work with a lot of younger guys and that being said I think that I have an open mind.
Again... that being said... I have to sort of blame the ladies... you guys accepted this hang out non commital bull**** that a lot of men seem to do... its a way of getting quick easy ***** without having to give anything in return...
Let's just hang out... that simply means let me keep ****ing you til something better comes along....
I'm gonna get blasted for this, but it's the truth....
Men of our generation.... not sure how to address that part......
Yep, ever since the mid 1960s, this has been the attitude. In my opinion, it's been done deliberately to weaken the family unit so that the elite may maintain more power and control over us. When you have a 40% out of wedlock birth rate and a 40% divorce rate, it create a huge % of people dependent on government assistance. Poor and broke people who are addicted to instant gratification are much easier to manipulate than people with self discipline.
Yep, ever since the mid 1960s, this has been the attitude. In my opinion, it's been done deliberately to weaken the family unit so that the elite may maintain more power and control over us. When you have a 40% out of wedlock birth rate and a 40% divorce rate, it create a huge % of people dependent on government assistance. Poor and broke people who are addicted to instant gratification are much easier to manipulate than people with self discipline.
All women like the same 5% of guys, so those guys have their pick. They will have sex with whoever is easiest to have sex with, cause guys are lazy, so in order to have sex with one of those 5% guys the women compete amongst themselves to be easiest.
That's the dynamic. If you don't like it, then you need to not pursue one of the 5%. Most women won't stand for being told this. Anything less than one of those one-in-twenty guys that all the other women want too is "settling". Guys with this same attitude - "I'm holding out for a supermodel" - are ruthlessly shamed.
This is hilarious. I went to a festival on Saturday and I was people watching. I guarantee you that most of the Couples walking around were not in the top five percent of attractiveness for either gender. People who hold out for the top five percent, usually end up alone. ( or with a few one night stands under their belt)
Most of the young women I know under 21 are all in relationships. The ones who are single are focused on their careers or education primarily. There are nice girls and guys out there.
Also attractiveness is a bit subjective. I'm a busty size 8 (37-27-39) at 5 ft 8. I can have an attractive man hit on me and another who thinks I'm a fat cow. I used to be (32-22-32) as a teen and I had some guys find me very attractive and others who felt I was too skinny.
It's the same way with men and their attractiveness. I have never found the same guys attractive as my best friend or sister. We have very different tastes.
OP, have you ever considered that it could be some of the women?
Personally, if girls I had no interest of dating, but every intention of sleeping with, I would not waste the time in to "court."
If I was genuinely interested, I would spend far more time actually being "old fashioned."
That being said, probably about 5% of women I slept with, was I actually interested in dating. That leaves a ton of women out there, who could possibly be the kind of girl a guy would want to sleep with, but not date, for a million reasons.
Most guys are willing to sleep with girls who either have personality, age, or attractiveness features that they would not be interested in dating. What happens then, is all these girls who bring little to the table in all these aspects, think "hey, this good looking guy with a lot going on is willing to sleep with me, that means I should look for guys similar to this to actually date." It doesn't work like this, and it gives many women way more confidence and put themselves above where they actually are. I don't think that this goes both ways nearly as much. Women tend to be more selective in who they sleep with.
I personally know plenty of girls who sleep with tons of guys who would never date them, and they seem to be clueless. They wonder why they can't find any "good" guys, when in actuality they should get their head out of the clouds and realize that when they make $10/hr and are 25lbs overweight, they should try and find someone more similar, instead of thinking they have a good chance with that super good looking high income guy that calls her at bar close because he hasn't found any better prospects during the night, so he resorts to "old faithful."
OP, have you ever considered that it could be some of the women?
Personally, if girls I had no interest of dating, but every intention of sleeping with, I would not waste the time in to "court."
If I was genuinely interested, I would spend far more time actually being "old fashioned."
That being said, probably about 5% of women I slept with, was I actually interested in dating. That leaves a ton of women out there, who could possibly be the kind of girl a guy would want to sleep with, but not date, for a million reasons.
Most guys are willing to sleep with girls who either have personality, age, or attractiveness features that they would not be interested in dating. What happens then, is all these girls who bring little to the table in all these aspects, think "hey, this good looking guy with a lot going on is willing to sleep with me, that means I should look for guys similar to this to actually date." It doesn't work like this, and it gives many women way more confidence and put themselves above where they actually are. I don't think that this goes both ways nearly as much. Women tend to be more selective in who they sleep with.
I personally know plenty of girls who sleep with tons of guys who would never date them, and they seem to be clueless. They wonder why they can't find any "good" guys, when in actuality they should get their head out of the clouds and realize that when they make $10/hr and are 25lbs overweight, they should try and find someone more similar, instead of thinking they have a good chance with that super good looking high income guy that calls her at bar close because he hasn't found any better prospects during the night, so he resorts to "old faithful."
I'd agree with you on all aspects, except the 25 lb overweight part. There are some women with really good looking curves and a nice attitude in that bracket. I find fit women very attractive, but physically way too demanding.
Just because a guy only wants sex with you doesn't mean he's not a "gentleman" or is a "player", he probably doesn't think you're good enough to be exclusive with or date. I tell women all the time, if the guys your meeting only want to hook up, 9/10 Theyre out of your league or think that they are.
I've heard a lot of my female friends in anguish over the fact that they never meet decent guys, that no guys want to take their time with them... and I am usually able to name two or three situations where a totally decent guy was dating her and taking his time with her, and how in the middle of it, she decided he was too boring and shacked up with a guy who more or less popped out of nowhere and propositioned her.
I've heard a lot of my male friends say the same thing - "Why can't I find a decent girl who isn't all into going out and partying and sleeping with all these other dudes?" And they usually had at least a few girls around them at any given time who were way, way into them, didn't want to put out immediately, but would have ended up being a stable, domestic partner, but they at some point decided she was too boring and took up with a really easy girl who, unsurprisingly, was seeing other dudes simultaneously instead.
I think a lot of people delude themselves into saying that the most important thing to them is how "good" or "nice" or "decent" or "devoted" a person is, when they're actually more concerned with appearances, or social status, or shared interests, etc - they probably don't realize it, but, it's the reality of the situation. What they're really looking for is a perfect 10 who's hot, honest, devoted, nice, etc etc etc, and they aren't really being honest about their priorities.
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Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Also note that you are a Millennial or part of the Gen Y population. Gen Y sex and dating parameters are different than those of Gen X and the Baby Boomers. We have social media, texting, selfies and other narcissistic nuances that aides opposite sex into getting together. Also since you're a millennial the hook up culture is very popular amongst this group. Some women even in your generation group prefer to have sex with guys even though their is no relationship.
