What happened to the young men of our generation? (dating, long-term, how to)
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I mean really though. I feel like the majority of the guys in today's world have lost what it means to respect and get to know a girl.
I've just been thinking the past few days about how I have yet to meet a guy at college so far that I'd consider a real 'man'. I don't know where they are hiding or if they actually exist. Every single guy I've met so far was only talking to me so that he can get laid. Which of course I understand is obvious, but it's the way they go about getting it. There are no dates and absolutely no "courting" or whatever it is when the guy is a gentleman. It's like sometimes these guys don't even want to hangout in the day, they just want to see you at night. Can it be more obvious? I'm just wondering at what age will I start to find men who want to actually date. I'm an attractive, single 20 year old girl and I'm having the hardest time finding a guy that genuinely just wants to get to know me.
I know I'm generalizing here, but just being around this age of guys in college has really opened up my eyes to how insane the behavior is sometimes. From witnessing friends deal with these kinds of guys as well countless experiences that I've dealt with.
Please tell me I'll have better luck the older I get?
It's an instant gratification society, people don't really have time for "courting." You might be "pure" so to speak, but most dudes who are spending time "courting" while the girl is out there putting out for the "bad boys" so to speak.
I'm mid 40's... old school.... I think old school and I guess some might say I'm rigid... I don't want to be, I try and think outside the box, I work with a lot of younger guys and that being said I think that I have an open mind.
Again... that being said... I have to sort of blame the ladies... you guys accepted this hang out non commital bull**** that a lot of men seem to do... its a way of getting quick easy ***** without having to give anything in return...
Let's just hang out... that simply means let me keep ****ing you til something better comes along....
I'm gonna get blasted for this, but it's the truth....
Men of our generation.... not sure how to address that part......
I mean really though. I feel like the majority of the guys in today's world have lost what it means to respect and get to know a girl.
I've just been thinking the past few days about how I have yet to meet a guy at college so far that I'd consider a real 'man'. I don't know where they are hiding or if they actually exist. Every single guy I've met so far was only talking to me so that he can get laid. Which of course I understand is obvious, but it's the way they going about getting it. There are no dates and absolutely no "courting" or whatever it is when the guy is a gentleman. It's like sometimes these guys don't even want to hangout in the day, they just want to see you at night. Can it be more obvious? I'm just wondering at what age will I start to find men who want to actually date. I'm an attractive, single 20 year old girl and I'm having the hardest time finding a guy that genuinely just wants to get to know me.
I know I'm generalizing here, but just being around this age of guys in college has really opened up my eyes to how insane the behavior is sometimes. From witnessing friends deal with these kinds of guys as well countless experiences that I've dealt with.
Please tell me I'll have better luck the older I get?
Hi and welcome Anabell. Thank you for sharing with us your dilemma.
I'm not sure about the guys you've experienced or encountered. I hate to generalize a whole generation, but the fact that culture has changed so much with regards to how dating/long-term relationships are viewed, and are highly influenced by popular culture.. (I assume so), it's hard for me to see how people are becoming that ruthless in their approach.
Sorry this has become your experience. You're annoyed by the prospects presented to you.. When the your match comes along, I think you will feel less frustrated.
Doesn't matter what age or generation the guy is from: when someone really cares for you, you will know. They will step up to the plate, and treat you with sensitivity, dignity and respect. They'll stand out from the rest. No questions asked.
When I was that age, there were guys like the OP describes, and decent guys. I doubt its that different now.
Same thoughts here... definitely the guys like the Op describes. I think the reason those guy who just want sex stand out is because they are (or at least when I was in college tended to be) indiscriminate about who they had sex with and they tried all the time. Don't worry OP, there are plenty of decent men your age. The problem is, the other kind tend to be a bit more loud and obnoxious about things. The decent ones will seem quiet in comparison. You need to look for them.
Eh. I bet most women your age wouldn't even be attracted to the nice guys. As other posters have already mentioned, I'm sure there's plenty of nice young guys out there who'd be willing to get to know you over time, but most girls your age (and indeed, most in their 20s) find said guys too boring. They seek the thrill of dating the "bad boy", the guy every girl wants as a sort of validation of their own egos.
I've had this convo many times with many of my male friends and acquaintances over the years, and we always laugh about how naive and hopelessly idealistic we used to be in our younger days. I was in college about 6 - 7 years ago. I'd actually show up to a date with flowers or perhaps a small box of chocolates, if you can believe it. Needless to say, none of us got laid in college. It wasn't until our mid 20s or so when we learned to "play the game" better, so to speak, and started to get some action.
Now, we're all extremely jaded having been burned so many times by so many women. Most men learn quickly that being too nice/gentlemanly is almost a surefire way to get dismissed as "too boring to shack up with".
Seen from my point of view, I'd say these guys you're complaining about are ahead of their time, haha...
The problem with you people who think you're "nice guys" is that you thought "nice" = doormat.
That is neither nice nor attractive.
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