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Let's face it...some of us have flaws that prevent us from being in a healthy monogamous relationship with another person we desire.
I have been giving this some thought lately. Now at 35, sometimes I do wonder "if it's me". Now, on one hand, I totally believe that not everyone will find someone. It's just life. And luck. It ain't gonna happen for everyone. But on the other hand, I think I'm fairly attractive...independent...pretty easy to get along with...good-hearted...yada yada yada...so I think I 'should' have someone. And I remain patient. But sometimes I start to thinking...maybe I'm not putting myself out there enough, or maybe I'm too shy, or too picky, or this or that.
Has anyone here ever come to a conclusion of something they were doing wrong in the dating game/game of love and adjusted something about yourself as a result? Or even more interestingly, have you been told by someone/other people some thing or things you needed to change?
Are you shy? Do you put yourself out there? If you're shy, work on your confidence. If you're not putting yourself out there much, make more of an effort. Otherwise, don't look for problems where there are none. For some, it can be hard to find someone you click with. If your intelligence is very high, most people aren't gonna seem appealing, and you're aiming at a rarified crowd without being aware of it.
Let's face it...some of us have flaws that prevent us from being in a healthy monogamous relationship with another person we desire.
I have been giving this some thought lately. Now at 35, sometimes I do wonder "if it's me". Now, on one hand, I totally believe that not everyone will find someone. It's just life. And luck. It ain't gonna happen for everyone. But on the other hand, I think I'm fairly attractive...independent...pretty easy to get along with...good-hearted...yada yada yada...so I think I 'should' have someone. And I remain patient. But sometimes I start to thinking...maybe I'm not putting myself out there enough, or maybe I'm too shy, or too picky, or this or that.
Has anyone here ever come to a conclusion of something they were doing wrong in the dating game/game of love and adjusted something about yourself as a result? Or even more interestingly, have you been told by someone/other people some thing or things you needed to change?
I like to think that I have several problems that lead to me being single, but I guess the basic problem is not having interest in sex.
Are you shy? Do you put yourself out there? If you're shy, work on your confidence. If you're not putting yourself out there much, make more of an effort. Otherwise, don't look for problems where there are none. For some, it can be hard to find someone you click with. If your intelligence is very high, most people aren't gonna seem appealing, and you're aiming at a rarified crowd without being aware of it.
I have a touch of social anxiety (always have), so to say I'm shy is an understatement. But yeah, I am.
Good point RE: intelligence. I rarely meet men that interest me, and that comes off as sounding conceited to some, but I can't help that a big part of it is intelligence. Most men *I* meet can't hold a conversation with me that gets my attention...I need to be mentally stimulated by my mate, and for some reason I don't meet many men that fulfill that requirement.
I'm younger than you...and to tell you the truth, I get little twinges and self doubt when it comes to relationships and dating but.....I choose to not think about it, or at least I try not to. It's kind of hard when your family and people around bring it up all the time but eh....my main concern is school and really trying to make myself happy.
As to why I am single...mainly because I don't like anyone at the moment, and I am really used to being alone, although the solitude can get to be overwhelming sometimes, but it doesn't last too long. Most of the guys I have liked..they were just crushes that pretty faded over time and never went into anything. Most people I know either assume I am with someone or just some awkward girl who can't get a guy.
I don't think it's that serious nor should it be. I don't think everyone "has" to have someone. I would never get into a relationship for the sake of having one. I honestly think a real genuine relationship is really not that easy to come by. I look at life and take it as it is. You have to do what you want to do, and if someone just so happens to come along, great, if not, oh well.
Just had this conversation with my still single 40 something yr old girlfriend. She's had a string of relationships that seem to fizzle early on and who's starting to think it's HER. I happen to think she's perfect. We've been friends since we were toddlers. She's beautiful, well spoken, intelligent, so much fun, loves to travel…could it be the guys she's attracted to that are the problem?? Who knows. But I don't know what she's like in the context of a relationship. I only know what she's like as a friend. So I can't give her much input
Let's face it...some of us have flaws that prevent us from being in a healthy monogamous relationship with another person we desire.
I have been giving this some thought lately. Now at 35, sometimes I do wonder "if it's me". Now, on one hand, I totally believe that not everyone will find someone. It's just life. And luck. It ain't gonna happen for everyone. But on the other hand, I think I'm fairly attractive...independent...pretty easy to get along with...good-hearted...yada yada yada...so I think I 'should' have someone. And I remain patient. But sometimes I start to thinking...maybe I'm not putting myself out there enough, or maybe I'm too shy, or too picky, or this or that.
Has anyone here ever come to a conclusion of something they were doing wrong in the dating game/game of love and adjusted something about yourself as a result? Or even more interestingly, have you been told by someone/other people some thing or things you needed to change?
I think the same about myself. I am 27 and I'm already thinking " what's wrong with me". But like you said, some people don't have anyone coming. That's life and its a HARD pill to swallow.
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