Have you 'figured out' why you're still alone? (children, ugly, friends)
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I can tell you exactly why my long time single friends are single.
They are either incredibly picky and exclude 99% of the opposite sex, or they sabotage themselves.
Sabotage 1- never going out to bars/restaurants/parties, staying at home, working too much
Sabotage 2- trying to get the unattainable person (someone married, someone famous, someone wealthy, the top 1% in looks)
Sabotage 3- not taking care of their health and looks ( being overweight is different from being severely obese)
sabotage 4- having a terrible attitude and disliking the opposite sex.
If you look around you will see many couples together of all shapes, sizes, looks, and monetary incomes. If you can't get a date, change up what you do. Change one thing and see if it makes a difference. This is not gender specific advice.
I can tell you exactly why my long time single friends are single.
They are either incredibly picky and exclude 99% of the opposite sex, or they sabotage themselves.
Sabotage 1- never going out to bars/restaurants/parties, staying at home, working too much
Sabotage 2- trying to get the unattainable person (someone married, someone famous, someone wealthy, the top 1% in looks)
Sabotage 3- not taking care of their health and looks ( being overweight is different from being severely obese)
sabotage 4- having a terrible attitude and disliking the opposite sex.
If you look around you will see many couples together of all shapes, sizes, looks, and monetary incomes. If you can't get a date, change up what you do. Change one thing and see if it makes a difference. This is not gender specific advice.
Interesting post. I have seen #4 NOT be a detriment however.
I know the main reason why I'm single. I don't get out enough and mingle. I am a very driven man and pursue professional success. After a long day of conquering the world and the gym I don't feel like going out to some random bar and hope there is someone there that I feel like talking too. A lot of people meet people through work, I own a business and most of the women I meet through my business are customers. Dating customers is bad for business. I don't put myself out there enough has been the main thing holding me back.
I view myself as what women are looking for but the problem is they can't find me nor me them in a natural setting. OLD sucks.
Let's face it...some of us have flaws that prevent us from being in a healthy monogamous relationship with another person we desire.
I have been giving this some thought lately. Now at 35, sometimes I do wonder "if it's me". Now, on one hand, I totally believe that not everyone will find someone. It's just life. And luck. It ain't gonna happen for everyone. But on the other hand, I think I'm fairly attractive...independent...pretty easy to get along with...good-hearted...yada yada yada...so I think I 'should' have someone. And I remain patient. But sometimes I start to thinking...maybe I'm not putting myself out there enough, or maybe I'm too shy, or too picky, or this or that.
Has anyone here ever come to a conclusion of something they were doing wrong in the dating game/game of love and adjusted something about yourself as a result? Or even more interestingly, have you been told by someone/other people some thing or things you needed to change?
I haven't been told I need to change. I've been told "Why aren't you married yet" like a million times.. like I give a $hit.
After 20 yrs of dating, for my own sanity, I choose to stay single.
I could've gotten married, but the guys who wanted marriage seemed so controlling or their family was.. not what I picture my life to be. I don't think I could put up with the B.S. of having to spend Sundays and holidays feeling claustrophobic.
That's true they say NYC is great for dating, but that's not the reason why. IIRC it's mainly because there are a lot of dudes into dating. Almost everything costs an arm and a leg in NYC, though. Except the parks and museums.
It depends. I'm a New Yorker myself and dating can be so,so. Not only how much it costs, but what your date likes or what mutually. Also one has to put effort in dating like clothing, loosening weight, hygiene especially dental and other exterior credentials, and that's for the guys. Dating in NYC is hard. If you want to date in NYC either have lots of money or be a good looking bum which plenty of women in this city actually date and have relationships with. I know quite a few guys who are really, really good looking and have nothing going for themselves but women like them, buy them xbox or a plane ticket to DR for vacation. One thing about NYC that amazes me is the women, either if she unattractive or fat yet they still pull men left and right and these men are physically attractive. If an average plain jane or below woman is fat or ugly and tired of Florida, Cali and other sunbelt man shallow nuances, look no further and move to NYC, you will get dates really fast.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks
And from my experience, many women say that NYC is the best for dating (But the guys pay an arm and leg for one date. No thanks )
We sure do. If a guy spends more than a 100 dollars or more wining and dining a woman, a good chance he wont get anywhere. Some women here use dates as a meal ticket especially heaveily indebted college educated women who move to the city from some suburb down south or the Midwest right after college. There are plenty of cheap dating ideas in NYC that can be fun and instead of the boring dinner date or to a movie.
Last edited by Bronxguyanese; 10-17-2014 at 02:52 AM..
My mother and my brother are convinced that if I changed this or that about myself (namely everything) I could get a boyfriend. But I see chicks around me from all walks of life who have found someone to love them. I know I don't get out enough, but since I'm constantly surrounded by couples everywhere I do go, I don't see how that would help, especially since I don't like what there is to do around here. I work on weekends and overnights as well, so it'd be hard to connect with someone who doesn't keep a similar schedule. I am thoroughly convinced that I don't at all mesh with where I live, which is the same reason I don't have friends, but nobody seems to believe that.
I make very little effort to meet people; and I have little motivation to do so. And yet, and the same time, I would like to date at least a little bit. Go figure. Personality traits like: shyness(but not crippling, thank goodness), passiveness, low confidence/self-esteem, nervous, don't help much.
Sabotage 2- trying to get the unattainable person (someone married, someone famous, someone wealthy, the top 1% in looks)
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With regards to looks, most people simply want someone who is sexually attractive to them. I don't see guys going for the top 1%. It's more like the top 10%, and you can't blame them, because they're not sexually attracted to the bottom 90%. It's the same way for women. I can't blame women for not wanting to date me or anyone else in the bottom 90%. I fully expect women to continue and try for the top percentile of males until they get one or are forced to settle with someone like me. That's completely logical.
I know the main reason why I'm single. I don't get out enough and mingle. I am a very driven man and pursue professional success. After a long day of conquering the world and the gym I don't feel like going out to some random bar and hope there is someone there that I feel like talking too. A lot of people meet people through work, I own a business and most of the women I meet through my business are customers.
Serious question for the board...
Would you rather have professional/financial success, but with no one to love- and love you back? Or, would you rather have true love with no possibility of professional/financial success? Your decision is final and cannot be remedied at anytime in the future.
Would you rather have professional/financial success, but with no one to love- and love you back? Or, would you rather have true love with no possibility of professional/financial success? Your decision is final and cannot be remedied at anytime in the future.
you are hijacking the thread. but I take the true love of course.
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