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My current girlfriend and I live together. Her becoming pregnant was not planned but she really wanted to keep the kid and I was going to support her either way. Whatever. She parties and I told her she would have to cut that out if she was going to become a mother. Most of her problem is that she's a little too skilled at shopping and swiping credit cards. We had talk after talk about how changes were going to be made once the baby got here. She made it clear that she understood she was going to have to mature, spend a lot less on herself ( to cut costs) and so forth. I noticed a change in her right away. Shopping for our child, getting everything prepared and just getting herself excited. She made a lot of drastic, positive changes over the course of her pregnancy.
Our kiddo was born back in July, healthy and with a pair of serious lungs. Being first time parents (never being around too many kids) was an adjustment. However, my girlfriend had started to become disinterested in our son. The first month he was new and exciting to her, but she expressed how much she hated getting up to feed him, change him, etc. Sometimes she wouldn't wake up (never asleep, but groaning into her pillow) to do the feedings, so I had to. Yes, he's my son too, I realize, but I have a full-time job and she doesn't. I wasn't against helping from time to time but unless I started a fight with her she refused to get up. "He can wait until MORNING." Well, no he can't because he's hungry now
While I'm at work I know she sleeps in. Not until 9 am or even 11 am, but until 12. She has it fairly easy since we have someone to clean our place (2x a week) but what else she does during the day I am unsure of. Well, until I receive our credit card statements. Then I know what she gets up to.
It's been a few months and now once I get home from work (around 6-7, depending) she has been wanting to go out to bars and clubs with her friends. We normally go to bars together on the weekends and I occasionally meet up for a drink with a friend after work but it's rare during the work week. When she goes out (which is 3x a week now) it's normally during the week and she comes home tipsy or drunk at about 2 am to 3 am and collapses in bed. She's an adult and of age and I can't really stop her but she runs up a high bar tab.
I have played with the possibility that she's depressed but she says she's happy. She seems happy as well, more so than I have ever seen. Our relationship is strained due to my frustration with her behavior. Lack of sex doesn't help, neither does stress at work or worrying about my kid's well-being all day. She's content, I'm not. I want her to budget, be a mother, develop normal sleeping habits and make me dinner every once in a while. I'm frustrated with her and don't know how to motivate her to make those changes.
Take your son and run would be my advice. Of course consult an attorney first and see what you can do to keep full custody and arrange for someone fit to care for him while you are at work. But she sounds like a Casey Anthony type to me, sorry.
He is very young and will need lots of attention right now.
I think you should make an effort to find sitters, grandparents are good for a weekend sitting, then take her out and be young and childfree for the weekend.
I've been caring for my kids all week for the last few months. I get 4 days free a month right now, 4 days. Its hard, you want to do single things, but they come first. My best advice is to enjoy your free time, and to find more of it for her. If you feed her need to party with you enough, then she will be a mother the rest of the time.
By the way, I worked full time, sometimes 24 hrs or more straight with my second child, and I got my lazy ass out of bed to feed, change, and rock her. Deal with that aspect on your own.
If this is a real post and not a fake one I would take the child and run. I would talk to a lawyer and know your right and what you best options are.
BTW get drop cam so you have video of her neglecting the child and bring it to court .
Sorry about spelling I am no the cell phone and stupid auto correct.
This girl is young, and quite likely going through post partum depression. He needs to help her, not leave her. They have a child together. Now, if nothing changes, if she makes no effort to get better, then leave. But the baby was just born in July, and postpartum can do weird things to a woman
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