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I'm a 54 y.o single female and I've met a guy on an OLD site who seems nice. The thing is, that I've been single for most of my life (was married for a short time and have a few LT relationships). So I like doing what want when I want. Sorry about the italics am not computer savvy, anyway, I know how selfish this sounds. I'd like a guy to date on weekends, but am not interested in a serious relationship. If/when it becomes physical, I would want exclusivity for sure, I just don't know if I'm capable or interested in changing my life. I haven't had a relationship for a long time where I would be willing to do 'anything' for that person. My plan is to get to know him more and see how it goes. is it possible to have a committed but not 'serious' relationship? Thanks for any advice....
p.s. my parents marriage was not good, and I thought to myself 'I will never be trapped like that'
p.s. my parents marriage was not good, and I thought to myself 'I will never be trapped like that'
You could be my female opposite number, esp that last line. Stopped having dating relationships when I realised that they were about two sets of wants/needs aimed another person simultaneously. Chances for that to go wrong are good versus going right without a lot of work.
At one time I looked at the previous week, made it through alive and happy without a partner, same with the previous month. It's now been over 20 years, and day by day I do mostly what I want to when I want to. People around me in relationships would kill for one day of that, and perhaps sometimes they do. They are always tied up with someone else's plans
If you want one with distance, this can be done as long as both sides agree to a part-time situation. One of my parents did that on their second round, often went months doing their own busy things until they had time to meet. Parent died within a year or so after retiring and moving in with 2nd round, I've wondered about that.
Gotta keep moving, anything gets in the way can't be good.
Tell him what you want. His response, body language and actions will let you know if he is the right man for you at this time in your life. I am not sure that I understand the difference between committed but nor serious relationship. If the two of you can define what you want and both are willing, that's really all that matters.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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It is possible to have a casual relationship, with sexual exclusivity, yes. Though it will be harder to find since you're imposing more requirements. Though, I think your age helps with this since I've heard similar yearnings from people >50.
I'm a 54 y.o single female and I've met a guy on an OLD site who seems nice. The thing is, that I've been single for most of my life (was married for a short time and have a few LT relationships). So I like doing what want when I want. Sorry about the italics am not computer savvy, anyway, I know how selfish this sounds. I'd like a guy to date on weekends, but am not interested in a serious relationship. If/when it becomes physical, I would want exclusivity for sure, I just don't know if I'm capable or interested in changing my life. I haven't had a relationship for a long time where I would be willing to do 'anything' for that person. My plan is to get to know him more and see how it goes. is it possible to have a committed but not 'serious' relationship? Thanks for any advice....
p.s. my parents marriage was not good, and I thought to myself 'I will never be trapped like that'
Are you unable to make your marriage a good marriage and not blame your parents for you lack of wanting to be married?
You can find anything you want if you look long enough but I am not sure how successful you will be finding a man to be exclusive sexually with but toss aside otherwise.
You are seeking two different men in one body, one that is a sex only relationship and one that is a long term exclusive relationship without interacting on an actual relationship level.
My parents marriage was a stinking nightmare as was my childhood but I grew up, got married, had children and do not blame others for my mistakes or the way I grew up.
What happened was not my fault and was not my marriage and I did not follow their lead because I grew up, matured, understood that the way they lived their life was their choice and the way I live my life is mine.
Oh, I am there with you. In my last relationship, my ex kept suggesting moving in, and I kept stalling. Ha. But I think with most relationships, it could be a deal breaker. I think it confuses some men when the woman prefers to have her own space.
I don't think the OP is blaming her parents for her lack of need to be married. But our parents' relationship DOES shape who we become eventually. I know for myself, I vowed never to have a loveless marriage.. which coincidentally was exactly what I ended up with? But we take the good and bad out of things and try to make the best of it.
Let's be honest here. Going to be hard for her to find a guy that is only going to be faithful to her in this situation. Plenty that won't have a problem with a weekend fling. The monogamy portion is going to be an issue.
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