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If you are the type who isn't afraid to ask (or demand) what it is you want in a relationship, how do you do it?
I am in the very early stages of a relationship and I find it bothersome that my partner doesn't call me very often. I have been in long term relationships before with people who call me a couple times a day at least and I believe that is what I am used to, but this is a different relationship and I am ready to accept that.
The last dalliance I had was rather lopsided- I was not into the person as much as they were into me and I think that situation opened my eyes and made me realize I NEVER want to be that person. I don't know if this is normal or if I am projecting my fears onto this so I don't end up looking like the fool.
Is it wierd to only speak to your partner once a day or once every 2 days? We only see each other on weekends (long distance). This is supposed to be our 'getting to know more' stage. I don't want to come across as clingy so I have accepted the way things are, but I admit I am unsure what to do....make mention that I would like more phone calls or just wait to see what develops.
I don't need long, drawn out conversations- but shouldn't we at least exchange daily pleasantries near the end of the day? He sends texts telling me he misses me and to say hey, and I do the same.
We did just spend most of the weekend together, so it is possible he just doesn't miss me yet...
Honest opinions please, if I need sense 'slapped' into me I will be receptive. I really like this person and I don't want to ruin it.
There is nothing in the books that says the "getting to know more" goes a certain way. It really is more about how each of you feel. But I personally think slower is always better in the beginning, not calling too much or moving too fast. There is more to gain from taking your time than there is in pushing too hard in the early stages.
I say let him take the lead for now. If things don't progress to your liking in a few months, then address it.
I know how you feel unfortunately.
The problem in your circumstances, is that one can believe that he's not that into you as well as consider it of no importance (he's just busy). It's a moot point.
The best thing is not to give him the impression that you are clingy.
Do the same as he does, don't call him everyday, don't answer all his texts, but when you do, keep being nice & even funny , don't give him the impression that you are dependent on him, though.
Funny thing, I'm good at counseling others, but my personal life is a disaster!
I know how you feel unfortunately.
The problem in your circumstances, is that one can believe that he's not that into you as well as consider it of no importance (he's just busy). It's a moot point.
The best thing is not to give him the impression that you are clingy.
Do the same as he does, don't call him everyday, don't answer all his texts, but when you do, keep being nice & even funny , don't give him the impression that you are dependent on him, though.
Funny thing, I'm good at counseling others, but my personal life is a disaster!
I'm married now......thank God. But, when I was single, I got into a couple of those "long distance" type relationships and I ended up hating them! It is really hard to get to know a person when you can only be around that person on the weekends. Fortunately, wife and I got lucky, we were BOTH "clingy" type people and our relationship really blossomed from that. Heck, it only took me 22 years of being single (divorced) and lots (I do mean LOTS) of looking to find her. I really hated being single also.
Good luck.
read the book smart women , foolish choices it will clue you in to alot of things at least it did me when i was single thank god I am not so anymore I hated being single . Oh well good luck and I hope it works out for you dear I really do .
I'm in a relationship that ISN'T long-distance, and we don't talk every day.
He'll most often text me...but it's not unusual that a day goes by and we have no communication at all. He is an attorney, and a very busy one, with 2 young children, and he simply has far more on his mind than just me. We've only been together a couple of months now, so it's early with us as well And right now, it's fine, and it works for me as the last guy I dated drove me up a wall with all the calls and texts every few hours.
I suggest you stop worrying about those daily calls, and go with the flow for now.
In the beginning, I would say it's healthy that if you're both not completely involved in each others' lives. It lets you figure out what kind of a person the guy is and simultaneously keeps the mystery thing going for a while, you know?
But I have a question for you. Are you genuinely concerned that this person's not calling you enough or are you getting the vibe that when you do get calls from him, he's not excited enough about you? If it's the latter, maybe this person is dating you just to pass time or get laid. If it's the first, then that's something you have to deal with on your own.
But I have a question for you. Are you genuinely concerned that this person's not calling you enough or are you getting the vibe that when you do get calls from him, he's not excited enough about you? If it's the latter, maybe this person is dating you just to pass time or get laid. If it's the first, then that's something you have to deal with on your own.
I think he is excited about me, he asked me out, pursued me and even asked to make it official. I was taken by surprised completely. We have been acquaintances for a few years prior but could not do anything more because we were in relationships with other people.
When we are together I feel very adored and wanted. He expresses that he misses me over the phone and in texts. I doubt it is a sexual thing because we have had that before and he knows he doesn't need to blow smoke up my rear if that is what he wanted.
I would hope he isn't just with me to pass the time, but only time will tell on that account- when do we ever REALLY know why people want to get into a relationship?
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