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I think you shouldnt worry about him. I mean he isnt your man or anything so busy yourself with things thatyou like to do. talk to him whenever and show interest but dont give the impression that you are clingy as others have stated. Address this issue in a while after you guys have been dealing with each other for sometime and havent progressed. But this is just the begining and may not go any where....."Never make someone your priority while you are just there option"...live your life enjoy yourself and whats meant to be will be!!
Start off as you mean to go. You should not be afraid to be who you are because then you are giving this other person a false sense of who you are and what you are looking for. You should be able to have a conversation about it, maybe mention casually how usually you are more in touch with your prospective other and ask if this is their 'norm'.
The most important thing is to communicate. If it is bothering you enough to post it on CD, it's bothering you enough to talk about it.
If you are the type who isn't afraid to ask (or demand) what it is you want in a relationship, how do you do it?
I am in the very early stages of a relationship and I find it bothersome that my partner doesn't call me very often. I have been in long term relationships before with people who call me a couple times a day at least and I believe that is what I am used to, but this is a different relationship and I am ready to accept that.
If they aren't calling you, they're probably busy. If your partner calls all the time, they are bored & have nothing to do.
The last dalliance I had was rather lopsided- I was not into the person as much as they were into me and I think that situation opened my eyes and made me realize I NEVER want to be that person. I don't know if this is normal or if I am projecting my fears onto this so I don't end up looking like the fool.
If you weren't that into your partner, you should have let your partner know immediately so they could move on. It's totally normal to wonder about things, but leading someone on when you're not into them is abusive.
Is it wierd to only speak to your partner once a day or once every 2 days? We only see each other on weekends (long distance). This is supposed to be our 'getting to know more' stage. I don't want to come across as clingy so I have accepted the way things are, but I admit I am unsure what to do....make mention that I would like more phone calls or just wait to see what develops.
IMO, you don't get "to know" someone well in a long distance relationship. You have a long distance relationship when one of you either goes off to school and/or takes a job somewhere else and were established as "in a relationship."
I don't need long, drawn out conversations- but shouldn't we at least exchange daily pleasantries near the end of the day? He sends texts telling me he misses me and to say hey, and I do the same.
Maybe your OP just doesn't have time to "shoot the sh*t". Texting is today's phone call. IMO, I hate to get on the phone at the end of the day...I'd rather watch Family guy or IFC and fall asleep.
We did just spend most of the weekend together, so it is possible he just doesn't miss me yet...
So why the confusion?
Honest opinions please, if I need sense 'slapped' into me I will be receptive. I really like this person and I don't want to ruin it.
If you really like this person, IMO, let him know & take it from there but do not dwell on or create issues that aren't there.
Even in the early stage (or after for that matter) I dont want someone calling a few times a day at work, just to check in or to see how Im doing. That may have been cool when 16, but in the adult world it comes off as insecure.
I think if two people really like each other they will want to talk every day and more than one time a day. Every long-term r/ship I had was like this, we would email and call each other all day, even while we were living together. It was kind of clingy, but it was because we were close and "in love" and wanted to be in constant contact. If you're getting a "something is not right" feeling, I would listen to it. As painful as it is to accept, this guy may not be as invested into the r/ship as you are. Maybe just ask him about it in a very casual, nonpressuring way.
Hey, thanks for bumping this I forgot all about my thread!
I think I wrote this around Wednesday/Thursday a couple weeks ago. The last time I had spoken to my 'boyfriend' was Sunday night.
He never called me again. Actually, I got another text from him a few days ago saying he got into some trouble and that was why he never called or texted me over a month. (Yeah right)
So I guess that was his way out. I have no interest in pursuing anything with him. Ever since I saw the Maya Angelou quote-
'When people show you who they are, believe them'
I'll be *listening* to actions over words from here on out!
Hey, thanks for bumping this I forgot all about my thread!
I think I wrote this around Wednesday/Thursday a couple weeks ago. The last time I had spoken to my 'boyfriend' was Sunday night.
He never called me again. Actually, I got another text from him a few days ago saying he got into some trouble and that was why he never called or texted me over a month. (Yeah right)
So I guess that was his way out. I have no interest in pursuing anything with him. Ever since I saw the Maya Angelou quote-
'When people show you who they are, believe them'
I'll be *listening* to actions over words from here on out!
good for you to be taking it so well, like the quote, too .
Hey, thanks for bumping this I forgot all about my thread!
I think I wrote this around Wednesday/Thursday a couple weeks ago. The last time I had spoken to my 'boyfriend' was Sunday night.
He never called me again. Actually, I got another text from him a few days ago saying he got into some trouble and that was why he never called or texted me over a month. (Yeah right)
So I guess that was his way out. I have no interest in pursuing anything with him. Ever since I saw the Maya Angelou quote-
'When people show you who they are, believe them'
I'll be *listening* to actions over words from here on out!
Thanks for the update. I think it helps others to see the resolutions to such posts, no matter how they turn out. And kudos to you for learning from the experience.
Youi need to talk about it with him and ask him what his comfort level is regarding communications with you. There is no "right or wrong" but only personal preferences.
^^ I agree with that. I think it is just a matter of personal preference. Where does it say that calling a lot or not calling a lot is the rule of thumb for dating?
good for you to be taking it so well, like the quote, too .
I was a bit bummed at first- I'm not going to lie. I had high hopes for this "relationship", but everything happens for a reason.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
Thanks for the update. I think it helps others to see the resolutions to such posts, no matter how they turn out. And kudos to you for learning from the experience.
Your welcome. In the end it was a good thing that he didn't want to pursue a relationship with me. I was beginning to make a few mistakes I had made in the past. I realize I am not ready for a serious relationship until I resolve a few things within myself.
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