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I think I've overstayed my welcome here. It's obvious people are getting tired of my virgin threads and perhaps even losing respect for me over it. Thank you all for your help and advice.
Tired? Maybe, because they seem kind of pointless if you just keep posting them and nothing changes. Losing respect? Nah. But you do need the tough love, the ol' push off the cliff so you can learn to fly. So yeah, get out there and live. You're young, and there is no instant answer that someone can give you on the internet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I speculate that it falls under the law of unintended consequences. That being the double edge sword of too much technology, too many gadgets, too much social media. It's almost like people younger than 30, all they know is technology and it seems like people have been somewhat stunted because of it.. .I don't know... maybe I'm wrong, but older people didn't have the constant gadgets in their faces and interacted more with the world, learned about social interaction, how to read people, things on that order.
Young people can do it too, of course, but IDK.... I think something is getting lost just a little bit.
How many threads have we seen here people asking about why they haven't texted back or what does this email/text mean completely missing the subtle cues that you get in real life. There was a case a while back where some kid misinterpreted a text and he killed a girl... extreme, but it was an actual case that happened.
I have a technical job, I grew up with technology, but it wasn't till my early twenties, before all that we actually had to get our fat asses up and change the dial on the TV, the TV that only had a handful of channels.
I get both sides of tech, sort of a tech BC and AD sort of thing, although those terms have been changed and I'm too lazy to look up the correct ones..... LOL.
The point, we need to teach people to become more cognizant of the world around them, not only the digital world. I think my generation hasn't done a very good job in that respect.
I agree. It comes up here a lot, and us old farts talk about the crippling effect of too much technology. I don't think parents realize how much it's hindering their kids, because they weren't hindered by it themselves when they were young.
I wonder how much we take what our own parents showed us for granted, that Millennials just haven't been shown. Maybe their parents don't even realize their kids need to be shown. I mean, I really had to stop and think about my parents' role in my social development. It's almost natural to think I did all the work of growing up myself, without any shaping or direction from my parents, but looking back on it, yeah, they totally did some steering. Thing is, if an adult doesn't realize he or she had been steered as a teenager, how is that adult supposed to steer his or her own kids?
And this is the Me Generation of parents that we're talking about. Not to get all Gen-X about it, but Baby Boomers can be pretty clueless about the things they take for granted. "Oh, he'll learn, just like I learned."
Yeah, but his circumstances are different than yours.
Tired? Maybe, because they seem kind of pointless if you just keep posting them and nothing changes. Losing respect? Nah. But you do need the tough love, the ol' push off the cliff so you can learn to fly. So yeah, get out there and live. You're young, and there is no instant answer that someone can give you on the internet.
I agree. It comes up here a lot, and us old farts talk about the crippling effect of too much technology. I don't think parents realize how much it's hindering their kids, because they weren't hindered by it themselves when they were young.
I wonder how much we take what our own parents showed us for granted, that Millennials just haven't been shown. Maybe their parents don't even realize their kids need to be shown. I mean, I really had to stop and think about my parents' role in my social development. It's almost natural to think I did all the work of growing up myself, without any shaping or direction from my parents, but looking back on it, yeah, they totally did some steering. Thing is, if an adult doesn't realize he or she had been steered as a teenager, how is that adult supposed to steer his or her own kids?
And this is the Me Generation of parents that we're talking about. Not to get all Gen-X about it, but Baby Boomers can be pretty clueless about the things they take for granted. "Oh, he'll learn, just like I learned."
Yeah, but his circumstances are different than yours.
I don't want to bash on the Gen Y crowd, and The Dissenter gets all huffy about it when people do..... the fact of life is that every generation is different than the past and they're always going to be that slight friction, to a degree, I can picture the Millennial crowd in 20 plus yrs crabbing about their high school/college aged kids... it happens, just the way things are, to a degree.
My parents showed me how to be an adult by the opposite, they lived their lives so shabbily that it taught me how I don't want to live... if that makes sense, so yeah, we're steered sometimes from the back instead of the front, but nonetheless.
I sometimes feel a bit sheepish talking about raising kids, as I don't have kids, but I can see all the extended family around me and work colleagues and the like.
Sometimes we need hand holding.... at times.... unfortunately... and the "he'll learn" thing.. I don't know.... sometimes the sink or swim approach gets tiresome... that's been my whole upbringing in life.
Everyone has their bag of rocks to tote....... myself included.....
I speculate that it falls under the law of unintended consequences. That being the double edge sword of too much technology, too many gadgets, too much social media. It's almost like people younger than 30, all they know is technology and it seems like people have been somewhat stunted because of it.. .I don't know... maybe I'm wrong, but older people didn't have the constant gadgets in their faces and interacted more with the world, learned about social interaction, how to read people, things on that order.
Young people can do it too, of course, but IDK.... I think something is getting lost just a little bit.
How many threads have we seen here people asking about why they haven't texted back or what does this email/text mean completely missing the subtle cues that you get in real life. There was a case a while back where some kid misinterpreted a text and he killed a girl... extreme, but it was an actual case that happened.
I have a technical job, I grew up with technology, but it wasn't till my early twenties, before all that we actually had to get our fat asses up and change the dial on the TV, the TV that only had a handful of channels.
I get both sides of tech, sort of a tech BC and AD sort of thing, although those terms have been changed and I'm too lazy to look up the correct ones..... LOL.
The point, we need to teach people to become more cognizant of the world around them, not only the digital world. I think my generation hasn't done a very good job in that respect.
Couldn't rep you, but I think you're right, Chow. Somewhere along the line, for everything technology has given, it's taken something else - intangible but very significant - away.
Tired? Maybe, because they seem kind of pointless if you just keep posting them and nothing changes. Losing respect? Nah. But you do need the tough love, the ol' push off the cliff so you can learn to fly. So yeah, get out there and live. You're young, and there is no instant answer that someone can give you on the internet.
I agree. It comes up here a lot, and us old farts talk about the crippling effect of too much technology. I don't think parents realize how much it's hindering their kids, because they weren't hindered by it themselves when they were young.
I wonder how much we take what our own parents showed us for granted, that Millennials just haven't been shown. Maybe their parents don't even realize their kids need to be shown. I mean, I really had to stop and think about my parents' role in my social development. It's almost natural to think I did all the work of growing up myself, without any shaping or direction from my parents, but looking back on it, yeah, they totally did some steering. Thing is, if an adult doesn't realize he or she had been steered as a teenager, how is that adult supposed to steer his or her own kids?
And this is the Me Generation of parents that we're talking about. Not to get all Gen-X about it, but Baby Boomers can be pretty clueless about the things they take for granted. "Oh, he'll learn, just like I learned."
Yeah, but his circumstances are different than yours.
Methinks some of you are too hard on virgins, and sometimes infringe bounds. Not every culture looks down upon virginity. Mine respects it, till the time comes (after marriage). Do you know how hard it is to keep my virginity at stake due to my devotion to cultural practices ?
I am given the choice to respect all or give up all. I like 90% of the things my culture recommends, except for the sex after arranged marriage part. I could do without that, but the priests at the temple wont accept me as ethical in such a case and I'd never be allowed to see the face of god ever again . What will you do, Huh. Tell me, what the heck will you do.
Methinks some of you are too hard on virgins, and sometimes infringe bounds. Not every culture looks down upon virginity. Mine respects it, till the time comes (after marriage). Do you know how hard it is to keep my virginity at stake due to my devotion to cultural practices ?
I am given the choice to respect all or give up all. I like 90% of the things my culture recommends, except for the sex after arranged marriage part. I could do without that, but the priests at the temple wont accept me as ethical in such a case and I'd never be allowed to see the face of god ever again . What will you do, Huh. Tell me, what the heck will you do.
I personally have never once picked on or made a virgin here feel bad about it, matter of fact I've done the opposite, I've tried to make them not feel like freaks about it.
It wasn't something that was in my make up, but if people have a value system and that is important to them then great. I'm all about trying to adhere to some kind of code of ethics... I make a lot of crude jokes here and clown around a bit, but in real life, I handle business, almost to a neurotic degree, worrying about doing all the right stuff in terms of social etiquette and trying to be a contributing member of society... that to me is part of my value system, trying to be a good decent guy.
Don't always make it, but when you fall off the horse, you dust yourself off and climb right back on the sucker....
Tired? Maybe, because they seem kind of pointless if you just keep posting them and nothing changes. Losing respect? Nah. But you do need the tough love, the ol' push off the cliff so you can learn to fly. So yeah, get out there and live.
Haha. Alright then, although honestly my parents weren't as open minded as yours were. They were fairly abusive as well. I don't want to go into all that but let's just say I would loved to have your type of family.
Methinks some of you are too hard on virgins, and sometimes infringe bounds. Not every culture looks down upon virginity. Mine respects it, till the time comes (after marriage). Do you know how hard it is to keep my virginity at stake due to my devotion to cultural practices ?
I am given the choice to respect all or give up all. I like 90% of the things my culture recommends, except for the sex after arranged marriage part. I could do without that, but the priests at the temple wont accept me as ethical in such a case and I'd never be allowed to see the face of god ever again . What will you do, Huh. Tell me, what the heck will you do.
I hope I'd eventually realize that the priests are full of it and get on with my life.
Methinks some of you are too hard on virgins, and sometimes infringe bounds. Not every culture looks down upon virginity. Mine respects it, till the time comes (after marriage). Do you know how hard it is to keep my virginity at stake due to my devotion to cultural practices ?
I am given the choice to respect all or give up all. I like 90% of the things my culture recommends, except for the sex after arranged marriage part. I could do without that, but the priests at the temple wont accept me as ethical in such a case and I'd never be allowed to see the face of god ever again . What will you do, Huh. Tell me, what the heck will you do.
I would be questioning my religion, that's what I would do.
I would be questioning my religion, that's what I would do.
Right? Like at what point do you realize you're living for someone else instead of for yourself? Why would anyone want to be part of a religion that makes you so darn miserable because it's preventing you from exploring a perfectly normal and healthy part of human intimacy?
I would certainly be questioning my religion if I woke up one day and realized it was prohibiting me from enjoying life and causing more emotional turmoil than positive guidance and soul searching. No one becomes soiled or less pure when they engage in bumping uglies outside of marriage. Some people get happiness out of waiting until marriage, but for those that are caused anxiety or depression by feeling pressure to put off the stellar act of sex, why not do what you feel is right?
But that's just me...never been a fan of shaming people for having premarital sex.
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. What will you do, Huh. Tell me, what the heck will you do.
