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Of course they're not going to tell you they were trafficked. That would get them killed.
Look, if you've been with a hooker, you have at least a few strains of HPV. No doubt about it. As certain strains of HPV can cause cervical cancer, having sex with you is a risky proposition for women. So yes, it is a woman's business if you've been with hookers.
As many times as I have seen you on here advocating the position that a woman's sexual past is none of the business of the man she might date and that if it bothers him he needs to get lost. Yet, now you are taking the opposite stance. So for you, it makes no difference whether a woman has slept with a lot people and exposed herself to all of these strains HPV and other diseases or not, because the past is the past, right? As long as she is clean at present, what she did in the past should not be considered within the context of the current relationship. I totally agree with this position and by those same merits, a man who has slept with women who get paid to be promiscuous, does not owe any explanation about his past to a potential partner. As long as he was practicing safe sex and is clean at present, what he did in the past does not matter. If you disagree with this then you are contradicting your own arguments on behalf of women whose sexual history, you say, shouldn't matter. You don't get to pick and choose when sexual history matters and when it doesn't.
True. It's nobody's business, but women aren't wrong to have preferences. You say you don't want a woman with a high number of partners. That's none of your business, but you still have a preference to not date those kinds of women. So, same for women. If they don't wanna date a man that's been with hookers, it's a simple preference.
But the main thing that should matte to both parties is "Are they clean?" If so, the past stays in the past. Rarely do people volunteer this info anyhow. Usually it comes up when someone asks, in which case, it's their fault if they don't like what they hear.
But how could anyone know how many times that person has had sex unless they admit it? In my case, I'd prefer a woman that hasn't had a high number of sex partners, but I could never know for sure unless she admitted it to me.
I do not think any of the girls in my social circle would have an issue with it - judging on conversations I have had with them in the past. In fact most girls I know would spend more time avoiding -
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Originally Posted by wipe out
A lot of guys have nailed a hooker
- the kind of guy who describes sex as "having nailed someone" than spend any time at all avoiding guys who have paid for sex.
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Originally Posted by Lilac110
It's all nasty, physically and mentally. Nasty, nasty, nasty.
To you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Clean
if you are sexual active, at some point you have to start accepting, understanding and forgiving other's past.
Thankfully however - unless you broke some local laws of course - merely visiting an escort is not something that requires "forgiving".
Quote:
Originally Posted by pdizo916
as a male, i never paid for sex. However if I did, I would flat out deny that I did
Whereas I value honesty in relationships above all else. Different strokes I guess.
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Originally Posted by Sunpaws
I met him and he seemed nice, but I had reduced respect for him.
Then I am sure you have noted it is you that has the problem - not him?
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Originally Posted by Sunpaws
I definitely feel repelled by the thought of a man who pays a woman for sex. I feel that hiring a prostitute is demeaning toward women
You may feel that - but it does not make it so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunpaws
Finally, I think a man who has to *pay* someone to have sex with him must be pretty unappealing personality-wise and physically...
Not so at all - but that is the stereotype that anti-prostitution campaigners would like to perpetuate. Nor does it have to have anything to do with desperation either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunpaws
Otherwise, you aren't giving her the opportunity to give informed consent if she decides to be involved with you.
I do not think anyone is in ANY way obliged to share their sexual history with a prospective partner if they do not so wish. The person who wishes to date you is dating the person you are today. Not who you were in the past. They have no special right to such information. Should one _wish_ to offer it - that is great - but I see no reason that it should be expected of them.
If your criteria for a relationship is full divulgence then that is ok too. Nothing wrong with that. Just remember - that is your issue not theirs - and no one is obliged to offer it in any way.
My take is that there's no difference between being with a hooker, being in a ONS, or being in a relationship.
It's just that you had sex with another human being, before your current relationship.
To me, it's shouldn't be a problem as long as it doesn't happen again during our relationship and/or it becomes an addiction. And most most most important, that you are STD free!
If you are in a serious relationship well you cannot judge anybody for their "sins" of the past.
Everybody make mistakes: for us men are "hookers", for some women are married men.
In a way we all had relationships (affairs, one night stands, wild nites etc) when we did thing we may regret (or not) but to discuss that with your current partner is not wise nor healthy.
Myself for example...I was into the whole "swinger" scenario for a couple of years. Not proud of that but nobody's perfect.
Who says it is a "mistake"? You are talking about "mistakes" and "sin" and "judgement" and "regret" - as if people who did this have done something wrong they need forgiveness for.
As many times as I have seen you on here advocating the position that a woman's sexual past is none of the business of the man she might date and that if it bothers him he needs to get lost. Yet, now you are taking the opposite stance. So for you, it makes no difference whether a woman has slept with a lot people and exposed herself to all of these strains HPV and other diseases or not, because the past is the past, right? As long as she is clean at present, what she did in the past should not be considered within the context of the current relationship. I totally agree with this position and by those same merits, a man who has slept with women who get paid to be promiscuous, does not owe any explanation about his past to a potential partner. As long as he was practicing safe sex and is clean at present, what he did in the past does not matter. If you disagree with this then you are contradicting your own arguments on behalf of women whose sexual history, you say, shouldn't matter. You don't get to pick and choose when sexual history matters and when it doesn't.
This is an excellent post. Take all my reps! Or one, as it were.
Say what you will about escorts but at least they're getting paid(and many are getting serious cash). If you've slept with 30 guys this year and still live in the projects you're doing it wrong.
My take is that there's no difference between being with a hooker, being in a ONS, or being in a relationship.
It's just that you had sex with another human being, before your current relationship.
To me, it's shouldn't be a problem as long as it doesn't happen again during our relationship and/or it becomes an addiction. And most most most important, that you are STD free!
Agreed, I know some people lvoe talking about sexual pasts and things like that but in my experience nothing good can come of it. As long as your clean who cares what you did in your past.
There's no denying there's a stigma attached to having used a prostitute however if you look at it logically assuming its not some crackhead streetwalker statistically and logically your safer being with a prostitute than a drunk ONS.
Where did the notion that the biggest clientele of escorts are loser virgins or people who cannot get sex any other way? The biggest clientele are high powered executives and politicians that have more to lose by being in casual relationships with women, and married men frustrated with their sex lives at home.
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