65 Year Old Man With MUCH Younger Woman? (age, wife, cheating)
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A friend of mine with whom I recently became reaquainted after losing touch for a year or two begrudgingly revealed to me that she was involved with a much older man. She is 32 (but her appearance is so youthful that she still gets carded), and he is 65. I say begrudgingly because, I suppose, since we hadn't spoken in a while, perhaps she thought I would judge her unfairly or harshly, which was not the case. To each her own, whatever floats your boat [insert desired cliche here].
Anyway, my question here is about judgment; since I know this particular woman, I am aware of certain issues that she has. Therefore, I know she is not a "gold-digger" or any other negative stereotype that some might place on a younger woman who dates a much older man. I know she definitely has concerns about being "taken care of," but I mean that as in emotionally, not financially. So, regardless of my friend in particular, as a whole, how does society view a woman dating a man that much older than her?
Out of curiosity: if you saw a woman walking down the street with a man who could perhaps be as old as her father, older uncle, or even grandfather, what would you think if you saw them holding hands and kissing romantically?
I just wonder how the general public views this kind of relationship.
In the not-to-distant past, totally unacceptable. Today? who can say. We have cougars, squired about by young men, dating websites for matching older with younger. We are told that 70 is the new 50, 50 the new 30, etc. Men retire younger in good health, still worry about getting flat abs and ripped muscles in their 60's and the pharmaceutical industry makes all kind of little pills that promise magic results. A lot of older men stay engaged with life by enrolling in college, participating in sports and being seen in social circles where young females also participate. I suggest that many younger men aren't working, are in debt for various reasons up to their eyeballs, are self-absorbed in their own lives and not emotionally mature enough to handle relationships and still face all the angst and identity crises of youth. Older men bring a lot to the table in terms of maturity, stability, and old fashioned regard for a woman. I would think that to the right kind of woman, that's a attractive deal.
Last edited by xnyer; 08-23-2013 at 06:49 AM..
Reason: spelling error
Bravo to this stimulating thread. I'm a 61 year old man with a 21 year old GF. Yes, I met her on Seekingarrangement, but it has moved beyond that. Trust me. That was a year ago. I still help her financially. (Uh, anybody ever heard of "traditional marriage" on that issue? It's not that much, anyway).
Not only that, she has Crohn's Disease and I have come up with a couple of realistic sources of remission for her. She is on public assistance, cannot work, has trouble maintaining weight, vomits frequently, has already lost 11 inches of her lower intestine. If the cures I have promulgated take hold, she has a chance of a near-normal life.
There ARE vast cultural differences. She has blue hair and death metal posters on her wall. I am a spiritual seeker, psychedelic relic, marketing guy. Yet, she is so sweet to me. She has never spoken a harsh or judgmental word to me. Sex, while seemingly about ready to come online, is problematic for her due to prior abuse and sensitivity in the area due to the CD. I am not much of a dynamo in that dept anyway. Much more into psychological and romantic-physical forms of intimacy.
I am in pretty good shape. My Dad lived to 96. I am also married, but my 67-year-old wife is in late stage Alzheimer's Disease. I also have an engaging correspondence with a 55 year old woman who I have never met, but who is very aligned with me spiritually/emotionally/intellectually. Yes, I am attracted tomy 21-year-old's beautiful form. AND she loves to wear naughty outfits for me, send me revealing pictures, etc. Lucky me/
I don't know where we are going with this. I am pretty hip. Live smack in the middle of Haight Ashbury. My main concern seems to be how we will look in public. (I wish she would trade in the blue hair for a more muted tone that could add 10-15 years to her appearance). I have met her Mom, and she is very non-judgmental. I am worried about Dad. But this girl was not appropriately parented, IMHO. I found cures on the internet ANYBODY could have come up with. So, I am happy to step in with some fathering/mentoring. And the assistance I am giving is literally keeping their daughter from eating out of dumpsters.
She has had not very good relationships with guys her own age. She makes poor decisions there. Goes for handsome, adictive funeral doom types. Anyway, it is very engaging and I am having to stretch myself a lot to accommodate someone so different. But, that is part of the excitement. We tell each other we love each other a lot, and mean it. Although, we are separated by 1000 miles currently and this has some of the features of a passionate correspondence. She is coming to visit in a week. I'm excited but also concerned I'll be disappointed and that there won't be enough glue to bind us. If so, well, we tried.
Out of curiosity: if you saw a woman walking down the street with a man who could perhaps be as old as her father, older uncle, or even grandfather, what would you think if you saw them holding hands and kissing romantically?
I just wonder how the general public views this kind of relationship.
Just being honest here, PDA between an old man and a really young woman would gross me out. I haven't seen it enough to become desensitized to it ... yet. Its none of my business, but it would still kinda make me go ewww.
So you are a married man of 61 with a mistress of 21. Says a lot about you. Your wife must be proud.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute
If his wife has alzheimers, she might not even remember who he is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intergen Guy
Bravo to this stimulating thread. I'm a 61 year old man with a 21 year old GF. Yes, I met her on Seekingarrangement, but it has moved beyond that. Trust me. That was a year ago. I still help her financially. (Uh, anybody ever heard of "traditional marriage" on that issue? It's not that much, anyway).
Not only that, she has Crohn's Disease and I have come up with a couple of realistic sources of remission for her. She is on public assistance, cannot work, has trouble maintaining weight, vomits frequently, has already lost 11 inches of her lower intestine. If the cures I have promulgated take hold, she has a chance of a near-normal life.
There ARE vast cultural differences. She has blue hair and death metal posters on her wall. I am a spiritual seeker, psychedelic relic, marketing guy. Yet, she is so sweet to me. She has never spoken a harsh or judgmental word to me. Sex, while seemingly about ready to come online, is problematic for her due to prior abuse and sensitivity in the area due to the CD. I am not much of a dynamo in that dept anyway. Much more into psychological and romantic-physical forms of intimacy.
I am in pretty good shape. My Dad lived to 96. I am also married, but my 67-year-old wife is in late stage Alzheimer's Disease. I also have an engaging correspondence with a 55 year old woman who I have never met, but who is very aligned with me spiritually/emotionally/intellectually. Yes, I am attracted tomy 21-year-old's beautiful form. AND she loves to wear naughty outfits for me, send me revealing pictures, etc. Lucky me/
I don't know where we are going with this. I am pretty hip. Live smack in the middle of Haight Ashbury. My main concern seems to be how we will look in public. (I wish she would trade in the blue hair for a more muted tone that could add 10-15 years to her appearance). I have met her Mom, and she is very non-judgmental. I am worried about Dad. But this girl was not appropriately parented, IMHO. I found cures on the internet ANYBODY could have come up with. So, I am happy to step in with some fathering/mentoring. And the assistance I am giving is literally keeping their daughter from eating out of dumpsters.
She has had not very good relationships with guys her own age. She makes poor decisions there. Goes for handsome, adictive funeral doom types. Anyway, it is very engaging and I am having to stretch myself a lot to accommodate someone so different. But, that is part of the excitement. We tell each other we love each other a lot, and mean it. Although, we are separated by 1000 miles currently and this has some of the features of a passionate correspondence. She is coming to visit in a week. I'm excited but also concerned I'll be disappointed and that there won't be enough glue to bind us. If so, well, we tried.
She has had not very good relationships with guys her own age. She makes poor decisions there. Goes for handsome, adictive funeral doom types. Anyway, it is very engaging and I am having to stretch myself a lot to accommodate someone so different. But, that is part of the excitement. We tell each other we love each other a lot, and mean it. Although, we are separated by 1000 miles currently and this has some of the features of a passionate correspondence. She is coming to visit in a week. I'm excited but also concerned I'll be disappointed and that there won't be enough glue to bind us. If so, well, we tried.
Waaaaait. So have you actually MET her or not?
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61 m 21 f
