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I went on 4 really good dates with a woman back at the end of September beginning of October. Out of the blue she ended things saying that she wasn't really feeling it like she thought.
We haven't talked but once or twice since last month and I was sad, but ultimately got my composure back. I liked her a lot, so her ending things stung a little bit.
Anyways, she started chatting with me this week and seemed sincere. A little history on this from my perspective. I've tended to be a d!ck in the past in these scenarios, because I usually just didn't want to hear much from someone who rejected me. This time around it was nice to hear from her and we have been talking quite a bit the last few days.
During the communication I caught her up on what I was doing and what she was doing. I'm organizing a mountain bike poker run next month in order to give needy kids presents this holiday season. She was excited to hear about it and has signed up to help me with the event.
Last night we talked more about other things and she said that she missed talking to me and she had been doing a lot of thinking. I asked what she was thinking about and she said that it's something that we would need to talk about. I asked if she was talking about friends or attempting to date again? She said friends for now, but the only issue she had with us seeing each other is that she got worn out with all her coworkers coming up to her daily and wanting updates about us dating. Let's just say, it seemed a lot of people were rooting for us to be dating.
In the end, she's clearly the frontrunner in my mind for a relationship. I'm talking to other women in the process, but they aren't even worth putting much effort into. Just chat and meet up here and there is all they are. Normally, I wouldn't put myself in these situations, because I like the person more than just a friend. Here's where this situation is different than ones I've had in the past. She connected with me at a time when I was fine with no longer trying to date for the rest of the year. I have a lot of stuff going on and I just don't have the time to do anything. Her and I are doing a group activity on Friday and she wants to go night riding with me next week.
I'm slow playing this one, because I don't want to appear as eager as I was the first time around. At this point, I'm fine with a friendship and/or a relationship. I always said to myself that I would be willing to partake in a friendship with a woman if I felt my needs were getting met within the friendship. I'm not looking for anything serious from her, but I would NOT be opposed to it in the future.
I want to confirm that me just doing my own thing and not sweating or expecting anything from this is the right move? I'm not going to make her be a court jester or anything like that for my attention, but she's a fun woman to be around. We're both pretty busy people and we have many fun things in common. She's saying the right things that she has some interest in trying again, but wants to let it develop on its own without all the pressure. I agree with her with that assessment as well, since I have been told that I can be intense at times.
Am I on the right page by just doing my thing and letting things develop on their own?
It might be worthwhile and worth a shot to see what happens. I am guessing she had a thing going with someone else and it didn't pan out. As runner up, you're next in line. If you are okay with that, great. If not, no one would be bent out of shape if you moved along.
Honestly, I don't care too much if she was seeing someone else. I don't think she was, yet I'm not going to ask either. We have enough friends in common that it would have came out, but it's none of my business. It didn't pan out and other dates I went on didn't pan out either. I'm just looking at it from a realistic viewpoint. I'm looking for friends now and a relationship would be a welcome bonus.
OP you are smart and correct in taking it as it comes. Let the events unfold and then reassess if you need to rejig your strategy. In the end if she is looking for a deeper and more meaningful relationship with you then she will make you aware of this.
You will be fine either way as you are not investing a lot of emotional capital upfront.
I went on 4 really good dates with a woman back at the end of September beginning of October. Out of the blue she ended things saying that she wasn't really feeling it like she thought.
We haven't talked but once or twice since last month and I was sad, but ultimately got my composure back. I liked her a lot, so her ending things stung a little bit.
Anyways, she started chatting with me this week and seemed sincere. A little history on this from my perspective. I've tended to be a d!ck in the past in these scenarios, because I usually just didn't want to hear much from someone who rejected me. This time around it was nice to hear from her and we have been talking quite a bit the last few days.
During the communication I caught her up on what I was doing and what she was doing. I'm organizing a mountain bike poker run next month in order to give needy kids presents this holiday season. She was excited to hear about it and has signed up to help me with the event.
Last night we talked more about other things and she said that she missed talking to me and she had been doing a lot of thinking. I asked what she was thinking about and she said that it's something that we would need to talk about. I asked if she was talking about friends or attempting to date again? She said friends for now, but the only issue she had with us seeing each other is that she got worn out with all her coworkers coming up to her daily and wanting updates about us dating. Let's just say, it seemed a lot of people were rooting for us to be dating.
In the end, she's clearly the frontrunner in my mind for a relationship. I'm talking to other women in the process, but they aren't even worth putting much effort into. Just chat and meet up here and there is all they are. Normally, I wouldn't put myself in these situations, because I like the person more than just a friend. Here's where this situation is different than ones I've had in the past. She connected with me at a time when I was fine with no longer trying to date for the rest of the year. I have a lot of stuff going on and I just don't have the time to do anything. Her and I are doing a group activity on Friday and she wants to go night riding with me next week.
I'm slow playing this one, because I don't want to appear as eager as I was the first time around. At this point, I'm fine with a friendship and/or a relationship. I always said to myself that I would be willing to partake in a friendship with a woman if I felt my needs were getting met within the friendship. I'm not looking for anything serious from her, but I would NOT be opposed to it in the future.
I want to confirm that me just doing my own thing and not sweating or expecting anything from this is the right move? I'm not going to make her be a court jester or anything like that for my attention, but she's a fun woman to be around. We're both pretty busy people and we have many fun things in common. She's saying the right things that she has some interest in trying again, but wants to let it develop on its own without all the pressure. I agree with her with that assessment as well, since I have been told that I can be intense at times.
Am I on the right page by just doing my thing and letting things develop on their own?
No issues with the way you're handling it, but I call shenanigans on her explanation about her co-workers bugging her. Is she really saying that's why she stopped seeing you? That doesn't make sense.
That's what she told me. For her it was too much too soon. Like I've always said, if you are looking for ways for something to fail, it will. I've done it before myself and came back later to regret it. I'm not too focused on the reasoning or excuse. She really doesn't owe me an explanation. I'm just making sure I have my mental ducks in a row.
I appears that you like each other, so yes, you seem to be making a good decision to let things develop on their own. I like your style. Keep us posted.
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