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As a man who understands todays gender dynamics, I would never ask that question - because an honest answer, would likely be very disappointing. However, mans interest in womans promiscuity is a matter of very basic instinct, not something that men choose to care about. Womans promiscuity is very strongly correlated to her likelihood of cheating on her future husband, thus it is of utmost importance. Women instinctively know this, and its the reason why they tend to underestimate the number of their past sexual partners, when answering such a question. You not wanting to answer this question, tells all men everything they need to know. If you've had 3 or 4 partners in your life, you wouldn't even bring it up. It comes from the simple fact, that women give birth, and men want to be sure that children that are born are actually theirs. Its a very basic concept, and it is what makes men human.
I agree with this and will add my input as well. Everyone knows that if a woman really wants to get laid she can, the only thing that is really stopping her is her (assuming she isn't hideous looking). Men have to look for sex, always. Unless the guy is a celeb sex doesn't come knocking on his door. Because men know a woman can get sex if she wants we try to gauge if she is a woman that sleeps around or not. If we deduce that yes she does she is relegated to booty call status at best. If she doesn't sleep around she is possible girl friend material.
There are basically 3 types of women (women that meet our physical attraction requirements)
Women that we won't touch with a 10' pole because either of her history or her personality
Women that we would like to date but would not marry
Women that are GF or wife material
Not many men are ok with marrying the town pump. Some men can be hypocritical about this being a player and scoring with a lot of women but then wants to find a woman without a big sexual history like he has.
So to wrap it up, in no way am I justifying what he asked, just explaining why.
Yes, you're coming out, along with several others, guns blazing and stating that a woman's partner count doesn't matter, which is the standard PC police mantra.
Men instinctively know that it does, and a woman with a high N count is not a good prospect for LTR/marriage.
I'm as un-PC as they get. And it isn't often that I beat my chest but today I'll make a exception. My response has everything to do with my confidence in myself as a man. Little boys worry about the partner count. Men do not concern themselves with this because they know they can overcome it, that the past is less important than the present, or are generally smart enough to know better than to hold a partner's past against them. I have never asked a number count of any of my partners. I was married to my wife 8 years before either of us disclosed our respective numbers. How many we had is less important than the one we both have and have had for the last several years.
Let me repeat, it is scientifically proven that there is strong correlation between womans level of promiscuity and her inability to stay loyal to her future husband or monogamous partner. This is why men do not want to marry sloots, you dig? And No, this does not apply to men too. Please spare me the "men do it too", PC bullcrap. Im here to share the truth with you, ignore it at your own peril.
This is besides the point you guys. I am NOT promiscuous. I will be twenty-four this year and have only been with ONE person. I could have been with zero or one thousand. I would have still found it offensive that some strange man would ask a question within a few minutes of chatting online.
I'm as un-PC as they get. And it isn't often that I beat my chest but today I'll make a exception. My response has everything to do with my confidence in myself as a man. Little boys worry about the partner count. Men do not concern themselves with this because they know they can overcome it, that the past is less important than the present, or are generally smart enough to know better than to hold a partner's past against them. I have never asked a number count of any of my partners. I was married to my wife 8 years before either of us disclosed our respective numbers. How many we had is less important than the one we both have and have had for the last several years.
Don't take it the wrong way, but you've been married for a decade, so your perception is going to be a lot different than a guy who is currently in the dating market. I don't ask that question myself, but its mostly because I can discern this information without having to verbalize it. Most men can. Its an important factor for men who are in the dating market and its never going to change. It is instinctual, not decision based.
I'm as un-PC as they get. And it isn't often that I beat my chest but today I'll make a exception. My response has everything to do with my confidence in myself as a man. Little boys worry about the partner count. Men do not concern themselves with this because they know they can overcome it, that the past is less important than the present, or are generally smart enough to know better than to hold a partner's past against them. I have never asked a number count of any of my partners. I was married to my wife 8 years before either of us disclosed our respective numbers. How many we had is less important than the one we both have and have had for the last several years.
Oh, you're a "real man." Lol.
No need to show me your White Knight bona fides. They show loud and clear.
i never asked any sucker ish like that... as far as im concerned i dont wanna think about anything some other dude did to you
also dont want you telling me bout your 'ex' sorry, not interested
any guy ask you nonsense like that it tells you hes insecure... also whatever number he gave you was doubled and +4'd
I disagree on the ex comment. I'm always interested in hearing why ex's didn't work, because it can be very telling of the kind of person they are. For example, I met up with a woman for ice cream over the summer. I met up with someone I likely shouldn't had of, but she seemed really sweet through the site and texting. Met up and I thought she had 3 kids by one man. Nope, 3 kids by 3 different men.
As she went through the stories of how each relationship ended, it painted a pretty clear picture for me. She had the inability to vet guys very well and tended to give up herself and become what the current man in her life wants her to be. She had little personal identity. All 3 guys either cheated on her, beat her, or did a bit of both.
That's why I ask about ex's. Someone who's been cheated on by the majority of people they have been with tells me that there's something they do to cause this to keep happening. It may not even be one concrete reason, but there's a reason(s) why it keeps happening.
Don't take it the wrong way, but you've been married for a decade, so your perception is going to be a lot different than a guy who is currently in the dating market. I don't ask that question myself, but its mostly because I can discern this information without having to verbalize it. Most men can. Its an important factor for men who are in the dating market and its never going to change. It is instinctual, not decision based.
Exactly, and spot on again. This doesn't come into play as much for people who got married in their 20's. Me personally, I've never asked a woman her count either, but there are other ways to tell. Heck, some will even brag about it (red flag.)
So, this thread started out about a guy who asked how many guys the OP has slept with before even meeting her - and it ends up with a bunch of guys sl*t shaming. Lovely.
I disagree on the ex comment. I'm always interested in hearing why ex's didn't work, because it can be very telling of the kind of person they are. For example, I met up with a woman for ice cream over the summer. I met up with someone I likely shouldn't had of, but she seemed really sweet through the site and texting. Met up and I thought she had 3 kids by one man. Nope, 3 kids by 3 different men.
As she went through the stories of how each relationship ended, it painted a pretty clear picture for me. She had the inability to vet guys very well and tended to give up herself and become what the current man in her life wants her to be. She had little personal identity. All 3 guys either cheated on her, beat her, or did a bit of both.
That's why I ask about ex's. Someone who's been cheated on by the majority of people they have been with tells me that there's something they do to cause this to keep happening. It may not even be one concrete reason, but there's a reason(s) why it keeps happening.
I'm sorry, but people don't cheat because someone made them. They cheat because they want to. It speaks more about the cheater than the cheated.
And again, we are getting off topic.
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