Plenty of Fish in the Sea. Really? (Asian, children, partner)
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It's really seems like a miracle to find a genuine, long-lasting love. I guess that is why it's so special when it happens and it shouldn't be taken for granted.
My reaction to such predicament is a bit different. It's human nature to take for granted that which has been made available and which has stabilized to become a routine. It's human nature to crave the impossible, and to bewail the recent loss of something heretofore not all that special, but now dearly missed. If we accept these assertions, the upshot is that even if we're in a relationship where we are "being taken for granted", we ought to persevere in said relationships. We should be more accepting of our present situations, if those situations are even remotely palatable. We should not dispense with merely partially-satisfying solutions, in the fond hope of arriving at a fully satisfying solution, because even the half-solution is already miraculous.
...But rarely do I find myself wanting to go out with any of these women I see, on or offline. I don't consider myself picky. I don't exclude on the basis of race, I'll consider someone who's older, someone who's overweight, or someone who already has kids. But despite having this seeming wealth of options, it doesn't really feel like it. Do you feel that way as well? Do you think this idea of there being plenty of fish in the sea is a big lie and that, for most people, the field of choices is actually pretty narrow? I think this is a big reason why online dating is so frustrating for some people. You can go on Match.com or OKCupid, see a tons of profiles, and think it's great. But then it quickly sinks in that most of the people you see aren't people you'd be interested in dating.
Fascinating. But, what is it that you are looking for? I mean what are you not finding in ALL these women? Are you seeking some very specific kind of emotional connection, subconsciously? Do you expect too much? Or what?
If you say "something is missing" or "something feels off", you need to be able to work through that abstract feeling of lack to pinpoint what *specifically* the need is.
Yeah!! What the heck is that one about anyway? It's simultaneously insulting and irrational. Why would you want to find something you're not looking for anyway? Of course you are looking for it. Who says any of us are desperately looking 24/7 anyway? What am I unemployed and have nothing better to do or something?
One more consideration. Much has been written about high divorce rates and the social consequences thereof. From my perch, I see the reverse. Amongst "professionals", whatever that means, the divorce rate is astonishingly low. I'd not be surprised if it's 10%. This social stratum might delay marriage until their 30s, but once they do marry, they remain married. And that's great for the couples in question, and their kids (if any), but is unfortunate as regards the fish-in-the-sea analogy. The fish have swum elsewhere, depleting the local waters.
Meanwhile, there's a "vast school of fish" who divorce and remarry, or have kids outside of marriage, or various other such relationships outside of marriage, splitting with some frequency, reuniting, switching partners, finding new ones. This I somewhat pejoratively label the "tattoo, tobacco and Bud Lite" set. They are responsible for carrying the overall divorce statistics. And they are not really my target group.
THANK YOU!! I have been saying this for a long time. I've been mocked quite a few times by some people for saying it...they don't like to hear that not every single individual who marries is 50% likely to divorce his partner, and that apparently the likelihood decreases or increases among certain statistical sets. People find this thinking "snobby". Yet it's the truth.
I like being mocked for telling "snobby, elitist" truths. I make quite a job of it , in fact
I despise dating for this reason. Human beings are too unstable.
I second you on that! I stopped dating ten years ago for just this reason and I'm only 38! Frankly, I can't handle it emotionally. I'd honestly rather be a spinster.
There are plenty of "fish." If you can't catch some, you need to learn how to fish better (better fishing grounds, better tools, more patience, better bait, etc.). Some that you do catch need to be thrown back. Some you'll wish you'd thrown back. But you only need one of those many.
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It's simultaneously insulting and irrational. Why would you want to find something you're not looking for anyway? Of course you are looking for it. Who says any of us are desperately looking 24/7 anyway? What am I unemployed and have nothing better to do or something?
I have been saying this for a long time. I've been mocked quite a few times by some people for saying it...they don't like to hear that not every single individual who marries is 50% likely to divorce his partner, and that apparently the likelihood decreases or increases among certain statistical sets. People find this thinking "snobby". Yet it's the truth. 
