Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We are both 26 years old from Europe. It’s a new relationship – 5 months. She is great and I love her apart from some stuff I have been noticing for the last couple of weeks.
What bothers me the most is that I feel Im not a priority in her life most of the time. We live 20 min driving away and we see each other like 3 times a week. Its almost always me the one who drove to her town to see her (80 % of the time if not more).
So on Wednesday she called me and asked me if I wanted to come to pub that is in her town. She went there after work with some of her friends. I said id like her to come to my place since I m the one who is driving most of the time. She said I ll let you know and then I got the message that she got stuck with friends and that she knows she canceled on me but she can come to my place on Friday, Saturday and Sunday if I will want her to. I wasn’t happy but said Ok, have a good time… the other thing that also bothers me is that she is not eager to have sex. We both live with parents but im always alone for weekends so that’s when she can come to my place to sleep over and have sex. I invite her often but she comes like once every 3 or 4 weeks. I have little previous relationship experiences but I have always thought she would have similar wishes regarding the amount of sex because it’s the beginning of the new relationship…
So last Saturday I was invited to her sister’s bday party. She lives with her bf in a different town cca 40 min away. I m not a fan of events like this (especially when I do not know so many people there) and my gf is very aware of that. But I went because I know that means a lot to my gf and is a normal thing to do for someone you love/in relationship. So I picked up my gf (drove to her town - 20 min in opposite direction) then drove to another city 40 min, spent 5 hours with her sister, family and other folks who were invited. We were there till the end, and drove back. I was certain we are going to my place to sleep over. We talked about it one day before… When we were driving back home she got a call from her girlfriend who is also her neighbour saying they have some kind of little party at her place and that we should come. I said I really don’t feel like it (I had enough sitting,eating and drinking for one day) plus I d have to drive her back home (40 min remember) and then drive back to my place (antoehr 20 min). She insisted saying she doesnt have toothbrush, pijama and pills with her so we have to go there anyway. I was kinda angry saying why didnt she took it before or go back home with her parents instead with me and she said that she forgot and her brains doesnt work at weekends. I told her I can drive her to her town but I wont stay for a party and that its her decision - to pick stuff up and go home with me or stay for the party. She asked if I WANT HER TONIGHT. I repplied its your decision… I was irritated by the question since its normal that I want her and it would be normal if she wanted me too – we havent had sex for 2 weeks and it s a new relationship for gods sake. She said we can go there for half an hour and then go back to your place. I said Im really not up for it. The whole time she had her hand resting on my leg while I was driving.
So I drove her back home, she said see you tomorrow and kissed me. I was upset and disappointed but didnt say a word… She felt something is not right so she stayed in the car and talking about some irrelevant things – something like small talk… She knew Im not happy and that I wish her to spent the night in my place but choose to go to the party anyway. She chose friends over me AGAIN, twice in the same week.
Im not sure if Im wrong to be bothered with how things are between us. Something similar happened 1 week before that too. She went out for a drink with her girlfriends and I said to her she is invited to come to my place after and she replied I ll let you know - after 2 hours she texted that they still have plenty to talk about so she wont come and see you tomorrow. Do I expect too much from her? I wish to have sex at least one day for weekends since im alone in the house. I don’t feel like much of priority in her live because of this. Is this normal behaviour for fresh relationship? Should I be concerned?
Honestly, you come off as clingy. Maybe you do not need your space, but a lot of people do. I've been in a lot of relationships where we only saw each other once a week due to our schedules and I had no issue with that (even if I wanted to see them more than that).
Maybe if you gave her her space, she would want to see you more often?
We are both 26 years old from Europe. It’s a new relationship – 5 months. She is great and I love her apart from some stuff I have been noticing for the last couple of weeks.
What bothers me the most is that I feel Im not a priority in her life most of the time. We live 20 min driving away and we see each other like 3 times a week. Its almost always me the one who drove to her town to see her (80 % of the time if not more).
So on Wednesday she called me and asked me if I wanted to come to pub that is in her town. She went there after work with some of her friends. I said id like her to come to my place since I m the one who is driving most of the time. She said I ll let you know and then I got the message that she got stuck with friends and that she knows she canceled on me but she can come to my place on Friday, Saturday and Sunday if I will want her to. I wasn’t happy but said Ok, have a good time… the other thing that also bothers me is that she is not eager to have sex. We both live with parents but im always alone for weekends so that’s when she can come to my place to sleep over and have sex. I invite her often but she comes like once every 3 or 4 weeks. I have little previous relationship experiences but I have always thought she would have similar wishes regarding the amount of sex because it’s the beginning of the new relationship…
So last Saturday I was invited to her sister’s bday party. She lives with her bf in a different town cca 40 min away. I m not a fan of events like this (especially when I do not know so many people there) and my gf is very aware of that. But I went because I know that means a lot to my gf and is a normal thing to do for someone you love/in relationship. So I picked up my gf (drove to her town - 20 min in opposite direction) then drove to another city 40 min, spent 5 hours with her sister, family and other folks who were invited. We were there till the end, and drove back. I was certain we are going to my place to sleep over. We talked about it one day before… When we were driving back home she got a call from her girlfriend who is also her neighbour saying they have some kind of little party at her place and that we should come. I said I really don’t feel like it (I had enough sitting,eating and drinking for one day) plus I d have to drive her back home (40 min remember) and then drive back to my place (antoehr 20 min). She insisted saying she doesnt have toothbrush, pijama and pills with her so we have to go there anyway. I was kinda angry saying why didnt she took it before or go back home with her parents instead with me and she said that she forgot and her brains doesnt work at weekends. I told her I can drive her to her town but I wont stay for a party and that its her decision - to pick stuff up and go home with me or stay for the party. She asked if I WANT HER TONIGHT. I repplied its your decision… I was irritated by the question since its normal that I want her and it would be normal if she wanted me too – we havent had sex for 2 weeks and it s a new relationship for gods sake. She said we can go there for half an hour and then go back to your place. I said Im really not up for it. The whole time she had her hand resting on my leg while I was driving.
So I drove her back home, she said see you tomorrow and kissed me. I was upset and disappointed but didnt say a word… She felt something is not right so she stayed in the car and talking about some irrelevant things – something like small talk… She knew Im not happy and that I wish her to spent the night in my place but choose to go to the party anyway. She chose friends over me AGAIN, twice in the same week.
Im not sure if Im wrong to be bothered with how things are between us. Something similar happened 1 week before that too. She went out for a drink with her girlfriends and I said to her she is invited to come to my place after and she replied I ll let you know - after 2 hours she texted that they still have plenty to talk about so she wont come and see you tomorrow. Do I expect too much from her? I wish to have sex at least one day for weekends since im alone in the house. I don’t feel like much of priority in her live because of this. Is this normal behaviour for fresh relationship? Should I be concerned?
Personally I think you're the one being a bit stubborn, you guys should have your own lives outside of your relationship, and it looks like you don't want that for her. You need to learn to give her room to breathe and not get mad about it.
She seems to be a lot more into her friends than she is into you.
Also, not spending the night with you, because she seems to always have parties or social occasions with her friends weekend evenings, isn't a deterrent to sex. She could come over Sunday, and you two could spend part of the day in bed. That's a pretty normal thing to do. This doesn't seem like much of a relationship. And yes, normally, there would be eagerness to take advantage of the opportunity on the weekends to spend time alone, when parents are away.
I also don't understand why you have to drive to her place to pick her up, before driving elsewhere. Why can't she drive to your place, and you could proceed from there? Why couldn't she be the one to pick you up, then drive to the next destination? It doesn't make any sense. She has a car, right?
OP, it seems clear she's not much interested in sex. What would be the point in pursuing this "relationship", such as it is, if you two aren't on the same page with sex? If you two had your own place, it wouldn't get any better. Consider finding a girlfriend who would be thrilled to spend the weekend at your place. They're definitely out there.
OP, it seems clear she's not much interested in sex. What would be the point in pursuing this "relationship", such as it is, if you two aren't on the same page with sex? If you two had your own place, it wouldn't get any better. Consider finding a girlfriend who would be thrilled to spend the weekend at your place. They're definitely out there.
Yeah, this exactly.
I don't see why others give you advice of changing how you should feel. If you're unhappy and feel she's not being right.. it's just time to either explain everything to her or simply find a new person.
Don't compromise what you want for someone else, that's how two people wind up unhappy.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
