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at least he had enough respect for you to not have unprotected sex. i might suggest though that you have a supply of condoms on hand to prevent situations like this in the future.
Well yeah, that too...I do understand that the situation could have ended badly in a different way...
- Don't have sex without protection
- Don't feel bad for refusing to have sex without protection
- Be responsible for your own birth control AND your own safe sex & don't leave it up to the other person
- Don't expect a FWB arrangement to be about your feelings when it's about convenient sex.
- Take responsibility for your own feelings and your own behaviors
- Understand when something not going the way you hoped might actually be a good thing (i.e. a bullet dodged)
- Seek therapy STAT and keep going back and change therapists if necessary to successfully address the major trauma of molestation from childhood.
- Go to therapy and stay in therapy instead of "looking for love in all the wrong places"
- Stop making a situation about looks when the issues are really about something else
/fini
You summed it up pretty well I must admit. Although I think there's a decent number of people in this thread who'd disagree with the first point.
- Go to therapy and stay in therapy instead of "looking for love in all the wrong places"
^I will and am going to work on this. But does that mean I 'stop looking for love' altogether?
To the OP - stop mentally beating yourself up. The guy had serious issues... sure it's possible that he doesn't like using condoms and perhaps he thus never uses them. Is that really your problem? Not at all except that you wanted to have sex with that person. Next time just cover this discussion ahead of time and not in the moment... in fact, go out and get some condoms for yourself for future use. Don't budge on this topic unless you really know the guy is clean - one slip up and you can easily catch an STD.
I now know of two single women who are otherwise perfectly desirable but who due to self-esteem issues went out and got STDs (with permanent repercussions) from FWB/short-term fling relationships. Their situations were both completely avoidable. A mutual friend told me this: "They knew there was glass in the sandbox but they played in it anyway." All of us single people need to be smart, better to be cautious than to catch something.
The female equivalent of blue balls. I'd be pissed, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelingRejected
Maybe TMI but since it's been soooo long for me, after the foreplay we engaged in and having him within 2 cm of me and stopping the act to never re-initiate it has me frustrated beyond words right now. I never want to be that close to it and not actually 'get it' again in my life.
You summed it up pretty well I must admit. Although I think there's a decent number of people in this thread who'd disagree with the first point.
- Go to therapy and stay in therapy instead of "looking for love in all the wrong places"
^I will and am going to work on this. But does that mean I 'stop looking for love' altogether?
Having casual sex is not love, Stop it altogether until you know what love is.
Most people here dont know what the hell they are talking about and have no morals.
To the OP - the guy was a tool. Good riddance. In this day and age, it's essential to wear a condom when having casual sex. I have dated casually & always wear a condom, and the women I've casually dated wanted this as well.
I'm also fine if a women has a supply of condoms on hand - I don't think less of them because of this; I'm glad that they're careful.
The only way I wouldn't wear one is if I were in a long-term & monogamous relationship where both I & my partner wanted kids - this has never happened, thankfully!
To the OP - the guy was a tool. Good riddance. In this day and age, it's essential to wear a condom when having casual sex. I have dated casually & always wear a condom, and the women I've casually dated wanted this as well.
I'm also fine if a women has a supply of condoms on hand - I don't think less of them because of this; I'm glad that they're careful.
The only way I wouldn't wear one is if I were in a long-term & monogamous relationship where both I & my partner wanted kids - this has never happened, thankfully!
In other words, you are a user and users are losers thinking only of selfishly gratifying the inner entity. One day you will look at your life and ask yourself, what have I done with my life.
Having casual sex is not love, Stop it altogether until you know what love is.
Most people here dont know what the hell they are talking about and have no morals.
Having morals that differ from yours is not the same as having "no morals". Where did you buy the pedestal from which you presume to dictate to everyone?
Sex does not have to be about love. If it has to be for YOU then that is fine, nothing wrong with that at all. But do not project your personal preferences onto others and judge them if they do not match.
There is a whole continuum of sexual experience to be had out there, including and excluding love, and if you do not wish to explore it that is fine. If others do that is fine too. So bring your pedestal back to the shop from whence it came. It is not justified.
Having casual sex is not love, Stop it altogether until you know what love is.
Most people here dont know what the hell they are talking about and have no morals.
I never said it was.
What I did say was that I was looking for a casual relationship UNTIL I find love.
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