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Well, deep down I do 'know' that, but that's not the way my mind thinks when this sort of thing happens.
The thought process I go through is:
-I wasn't attractive enough for him to stay/come back to me
-I wasn't attractive enough for him to call back at another time or try to communicate with me to meet again
-I wasn't worthy of enough respect for him to use a condom
-I was a bad judge of character and shouldn't have even been so shocked someone I barely knew pulled something like this
-I was dumb not to be prepared myself just in case this happened
....and on and on and on. I am guessing this is not how others' minds work. This is the thought process I go through. And not just right after it happens...all day...even today. I can't stop thinking about it.
Look at all the negative self-talk you're laying on yourself, when probably the only problem is that he feels awkward about how everything turned out, and doesn't know what to do next. The whole thing could be resolved by you sending him a text, and saying something like, "Hi, are you still around?"
Also: no point in beating yourself up about not being prepared, yourself. Drop the negative talk, and next time have the supplies. Just learn from the experience without berating yourself. Mistakes are for learning from. But also, pay attention to this strong tendency you have toward beating yourself up. It's a symptom of deeper issues that need attending to.
Lots of good points in this thread (and some asinine comments) Completely agree that a FWB situation will not improve self-esteem (more likely to further damage it), and that casual sex is about the sex, not the partner. If it was about the partner, it would be some sort of relationship. And if you want your partner to use condoms (as you should), be sure to bring your own, just in case. Be proactive and make sure you are on the same page or it will lead to disappointment and problems.
If he didn't call after a night of sex OP would have felt rejected then too. Basically the only way this would end up with the OP not feeling rejected would be if the pending FWB kept calling and begging to see her and then (eventually) wanted to start dating and not just hooking up.
You are just as responsible for protection as the man. Go buy a case of condoms so your ready for next time. Practice putting them on bananas, cucumbers and other similar shapes, guys have all sorts of funky shapes.
Next time you get busy you'll be a pro at "bagging" it.
I am going to assume you were not as attractive as he desired. You can buy condoms at any walmart or gas station 24/7. I am going to assume he just didnt think it/you were worth it.
Good thing for you is there are a billion men in the sea that would love to have a Fwb you would glady wear a condom.
He said he could go get one, left, then text me saying he couldn't find a store that's open and it must not have been meant to be. He never came back. 2 days have past and I have not heard from him. I'm crushed.
Welcome to the life realization that there are tons of men out there who have this low level of consciousness.
However there are plenty of men who don't.
Be thankful that he did not come back...can you just imagine where this situation would have gone with his level of consciousness?
Perk up and find a good man to share yourself with...it's so much healthier.
Also carry your own condoms and make sure a man knows how to properly use one. You would be amazed at how many people don't have good condom sense.
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