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I look back 40 years to my twenties... I remember paying extra to 'around the way girls' to go in without a condom. Finding a girlfriend who would have sex without the promise of marriage was a minor miracle and you usually had to 'pull out'. It's fine for women to be scornful towards men that don't like condoms but I suggest that if we are to get past the present sorry state of male/female sexual relations in the U.S. that women start to develop some sympathy for a man's predicament.
Eh, any "sorry state of male/female sexual relations in the U.S.," if it indeed exists, really doesn't and hasn't impacted me in any way, so I'm good, thanks. I haven't met a man with a "man's predicament." I also haven't met a man who balked at condoms when they were necessary, so. Even my husband, who assuredly prefers sex without condoms, as do most people, was cool with them when I was on antibiotics that could potentially affect hormonal BC efficacy, back in the day prior to our efforts to add to our family.
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American women are often averse to doing anything that might help get a guy over the psychological and physiological barriers (see what I did there) to sexual satisfaction while using barrier methods of contraception.
If you can't find any sexual satisfaction of any kind in instances when a condom is required for penetration, to the point where you have paid women to agree to no condom, that says a lot more about you than it does about "American women." It also says more about any supposed "sorry state of relations," but I don't know that I buy that said sorry state is a national phenomenon...I think it might be a "you" thing. But, hey, go on and blame those American women and their supposed aversions to helping you with your predicament.
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Sadly, your take-away isn't that the o.p. or anyone else in her situation has any responsibility. It's all down to 'men' and their lack of maturity.
Not really. My takeaway regarding this particular experience is the same as many others' takeaway - If this is the route you choose for sexual activity, be prepared, in case the guy is not, and keep it casual without assigning a bunch of emotion or meaning to a meetup that is, by nature, purely utilitarian. The guy's maturity level isn't really the point, outside of it being a factor in his not being prepared.
That said, my takeaway overall is that OP would be far better off spending time addressing the actual issues that have been exposed in the course of this discussion, which have a lot more to do with destructive, maladative behavior as the result of being a victim of molestation and abuse. Some dorky guy who decided running to WalMart for some condoms wasn't worth his time? Not really the problem, here, as it turns out. Just a symptom. The far more pressing issue here is why the OP is choosing to do things that give rise to negative emotion when she doesn't have to. Not really whether or not "American women" have a responsibility to "develop sympathy for a man's predicament."
When I saw the phraseology, "man's predicament" I started to think how women:
Are the ones who are abandoned to deal with impending unexpected parenthood in a ONS or FWB..whether to continue or terminate the pregnancy. Continuing brings financial burdens, terminating brings a Pandora's box of psychological and moral issues.
Are the ones who still face moral censure and ridicule for having sex outside of marriage, even though they DO have it with men who manage to dodge these bullets by virtue of "that's how men are, that's what they do"
Are the ones who are at greater risk from contracting an STD from their male partner than the other way around. So:
Tell me again how exactly would you describe a man's "predicament", when a woman engaged in casual sex faces all these threats to her peace of mind, health and security. Where's the empathy for what a woman has to deal with? And she's giving the man free sex and he has the nerve to kick up dust about wearing protection? We certainly live in an age of spoiled, petulant little ***ssies. I don't have time for any of it!
+1. A man's predickament of having to wear a condom, vs. a woman's predicament of potential consequences that will effect her long after he has wiped off, zipped up and left town. Yeah, not much room for sympathy there.
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Originally Posted by laorbust61
When I saw the phraseology, "man's predicament" I started to think how women:
Are the ones who are abandoned to deal with impending unexpected parenthood in a ONS or FWB..whether to continue or terminate the pregnancy. Continuing brings financial burdens, terminating brings a Pandora's box of psychological and moral issues.
Are the ones who still face moral censure and ridicule for having sex outside of marriage, even though they DO have it with men who manage to dodge these bullets by virtue of "that's how men are, that's what they do"
Are the ones who are at greater risk from contracting an STD from their male partner than the other way around. So:
Tell me again how exactly would you describe a man's "predicament", when a woman engaged in casual sex faces all these threats to her peace of mind, health and security. Where's the empathy for what a woman has to deal with? And she's giving the man free sex and he has the nerve to kick up dust about wearing protection? We certainly live in an age of spoiled, petulant little ***ssies. I don't have time for any of it!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
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Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
Ohhhhhhh, the plight of man.
Eh, if someone doesn't like condoms, which I get (and they don't want to find a better than drugstore quality condom, which I don't get), there are plenty of other fun things to do in the bedroom where everyone gets off. No biggie.
Eh, if someone doesn't like condoms, which I get (and they don't want to find a better than drugstore quality condom, which I don't get), there are plenty of other fun things to do in the bedroom where everyone gets off. No biggie.
But then they will complain about not wanting to swallow...
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