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Well I'm just starting to realize that. After not seeing my counselor for months and seeing her yesterday, I realized I need someone new. We always appear to only be 'scratching the surface' when it comes to issues I need to address.
The sessions are more like venting sessions of mine, where she gives me homework at the end which is usually:
-Join this or that website to meet a better quality of men
-Join a church
-Delve back into the hobbies I've been neglecting
-Get back on antidepressants and exercise more
Not saying those things aren't important...but after almost 2 years with this counselor I'm realizing we aren't getting anywhere and my main motivation in seeing her is simply to have someone to talk to outside of my friends. Considering she knows the things I've been through, I'd think we would have employed some kind of identifiable techniques/tools by now in order to get me moving in a better direction.
If you think the fit is poor, and have given it a while, it's totally valid to seek a referral to somebody else (or find somebody else on your own).
But do consider what you've been choosing to address, as well, and the type of therapy you are receiving. Different therapeutic approaches focus on different things. There are types of therapy that are very concerned with past experiences and how they shape current behavior and thought processes, and there are those that notably and intentionally avoid focus on past/background, for instance. Lots of different techniques and schools of thought and specialties within the field of counseling psych. Do you know what type of approach your provider favors?
In all honestly, though, studies show again and again that MOST people who seek therapy actually do so simply for what you are saying you've been doing...accessing a listening ear that has no conflict of interest or bias as friends/family would, and reaping the benefits of having the resource of an empathic listener. In fact, many, many clients end up discontinuing therapy simply because what they have received what they wanted, which was really just to feel listened to by a neutral party, which can be the most therapeutic thing of all. You feel you need more, which seems pretty valid. You could always voice that concern to your therapist, and see what she thinks. It could be that she can suggest a referral to someone whose approach is more what you need, or it could be that she is willing and able to switch her approach to be more in line with what you are seeking. If she is a proponent of what's known as person-centered therapy, for instance, she's likely operating by letting YOU take the lead and take ownership of what you need and want. Just food for thought.
Here's the thing. For many, casual sex is NOT about the person they're having casual sex with. It's about getting laid. Period. Full stop. That's all. So there's not much point in taking it as a personal slight, since it really more than likely wasn't about you, in the first place, anyway. You just happened to be available and willing.
Exactly right, and well-stated. Thread can end right here.
Most guys will carry them when he is meeting a girl for hookup so don't be so hard on yourself. It is a good policy for a girl to always carry some as you never know as you always cannot count on guys. I would text him if still interested and see if you can setup another date. He is probably embarrassed and don't know how to handle the next move. Sounds like you had great chemistry don't let this die without trying.
Not address, just city/state. Again, trying to understand how an attractive girl cant get laid. I mean if it's BFE North Dakota...
Ok, please stop.
You understand that she COULD have gotten laid, right??? If she had said, "Sure, go ahead and f*ck me with no condom. No problem!!"
But she apparently cares about her health and said NO.
Any other questions?????
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