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A little background to start with. About 2 years ago a buddy of mine asked me to help his wife with a computer course assignment. He told me to come by that Saturday and so I did. Well he failed to mention that he would be working that day and that me and his wife would be alone. So when I got there and didn't see his truck, I called him up to see where he was. He tells me he's working and to go on in that she would be ready.
Now I know this shouldn't be a big deal. But this was really a friend I only hung out with if I was with another friend. Well it was a little awkward and while I was there one of their relatives stopped by. I could tell by her initial reaction she was curious to why I was there when my buddy wasn't. Low and behold a couple months later I hear from a couple people that she had started spreading rumors that I had slept with my friend's wife. Thankfully my friend didn't believe it and knew me good enough to know I wouldn't do something like that.
Since this has happened, I've noticed that if I'm at some sort of social gathering I will not initiate or speak to a women that I know has a boyfriend or is married. Just tonight I was at a small gathering and a guy left me alone with his wife and I didn't speak to her once. I wouldn't even make eye contact. Needless to say I'm sure I made her feel awkward.
I hate that I've started doing this. I just get this feeling now that if I talk to some guy's SO he's going to assume I'm trying to hit on her.
Anyone else like this?
Last edited by rebellious1; 06-28-2015 at 01:08 AM..
Just be yourself. No need to change your personality because of a few unfaithful women.
Take advantage of these opportunities. Ask them if they have any single lady friends and if so to put in a good word for you. Could even give them one of your business cards. Make sure it is ok with the boyfriend/husband.
Other than that be careful. There are some very unfaithful married people out there.
Too many single women to waste your time on taken goods.
Last edited by usamathman; 06-28-2015 at 03:17 AM..
I establish my own boundaries with the wives and girlfriends of my male friends, but I'm especially standoffish to one in particular. She's made passes at many of her SO's male friends, myself included, and I blatantly ignore her as a result (I acknowledge her, I mean I just ignore her obvious attempts to be 'seen', her attempts to flirt).
I had a friend that was in a "serious" relationship with a man, while hitting on every man who she considered attractive. It crushed the man when he found out she slept around on him.
You cannot control what other people say about you. It is a shame that that trouble maker was so insecure with her own life and is so bored that she had to trash talk you and create drama. It is a shame you couldn't sue her for slander and damaging your reputation. There is a name for her, however, I will not use it on this board and save a moderator the time from having to remove it. You know what it is.
I think you're overreacting a bit here, just talking with someone's spouse doesn't mean any boundaries are being broken, assuming everything is above board here.
I have a female friend that I chat with and have known for a few yrs now, same goes with Mrs. chow, she has a male friend and everyone is acting normal, no hanky panky going on.
I myself don't talk to guys who are in relationships or I am very short with them. My friends tell me I am wrong for distancing myself when a guy friend gets a GF, but every time they do they naturally distance themselves anyway. There is this one guy I know: he and I were friends for a while (he used to have a huge crush on me) before he got with his now gf. We naturally drifted apart and I just assumed it would remain this way until he starts sending me text messages and flirting with me whenever he would come over to visit.
My best friend suspects he still has feelings for me...but honestly I just think he is flirtatious. So I completely understand why you would be short with a friends S/O or taken women in general.
Why would your buddy even put you in that position? SMH.
Like I said, this was a guy I only hung out with if I was with another friend of mine. Nice guy and I honestly don't think he thought I would feel awkward since I had been around his wife quite a few times.
I honestly don't blame him. I blame his ***** of a relative.
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