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I'm a poor sleeper, so that whole dating sleeping over stuff was always a pain. If I wake up at 3am what am I going to do at my (then) BFs house? I can try to figure out his remote control, I always packed my Kindle... it just sucked. When my husband and I started dating, we were both poor sleepers, he confessed to just laying in the dark.... poor thing. He didn't want to appear rude leaving in the middle of the night, and he couldn't sleep... but at least we could cuddle because my bed was (too) small.
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My current boyfriend and I don't spend the night at each other's. It's something we agreed on since we live close and he likes to get up at 5:30am and does whatever he does (still not sure, usually just gets coffee and does a little work) no matter what day of the week. My idea of sleeping in is getting up between 8-9, but his is getting up at 6:30. However, this is something we discussed and both agreed on. I was in a previous relationship where he never wanted to spend the night, always had a bunch of reasons, and I think the biggest reason was he had another girlfriend.
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I'm a poor sleeper, so that whole dating sleeping over stuff was always a pain. If I wake up at 3am what am I going to do at my (then) BFs house? I can try to figure out his remote control, I always packed my Kindle... it just sucked. When my husband and I started dating, we were both poor sleepers, he confessed to just laying in the dark.... poor thing. He didn't want to appear rude leaving in the middle of the night, and he couldn't sleep... but at least we could cuddle because my bed was (too) small.
The key there is you thought more of each other than you did of your own comfort. You didn't make lame excuses and hit the road. That's admirable.
I am 24 and my bf is 37. I like him a lot.But we have a huge issue (or it seems huge to me).
Due to some circumstances, he comes over to my place and I am ok with it. Yet, he never spends the night. He can leave at 2 a.m. saying "I can't sleep and I don't want to keep you up all night." or some excuses like that. We got into a fight as I don't understand whether the problem is in me and he said "When I don't sleep well at night I get moody the next day and get headaches".
Has anyone faced this kind of an issue? I don't know how to react on this
Yes. I was with someone like that for years. His excuse was that my bed made his back sore. If we wanted to have an overnight date, I had to go to him. But if I went home because I couldn't sleep, it bothered him.
Turned out that he really had extreme anxieties about being away from his house overnight--which made sense because he never wanted to go away for a weekend or vacation anywhere, either.
My take going forward is either we both suffer the occasional lousy sleep in unfamiliar surroundings, or neither of us do. Someone else's sleep isn't more important than mine, and a grown man should know enough to get help for his anxieties if they cripple him like that.
No. Well he talks about our future plans. So I don't think he does think about break up.
Evidently you don't see any problem here, so not sure why you are seeking others opinions. That's good, since everyone is not aware of all the fine details you are aware of, and only have bits an pieces to go on. However, relationships are viewed by everyone in different ways. You must have a small voice in the back of your head that says there may be less to the relationship than your are expecting, or you would not have bothered to ask about it. You either have concerns, or are looking for agreement with what you want to think, which is that all is good, and you will eventually have a life together.
A view if your emotionally attached, and a view if you really don't have any attached emotions can be quite different. The people on the inside are always the last to see what everyone on the outside already has seen.
Not saying you should follow what ever everyone says, but just consider possibilities and test the waters before you jump into the pool. A relationship that goes no where is OK if that's all one wants, and have seen women waste the best years of their lives with men who never wanted anymore than a part time companion. These men usually move on if a younger, woman comes along in time, and the process starts all over again. The woman ends up a few years older with nothing gained from the relationship except memories, and a narrower range of possible new companions. Just be aware and don't let others write a script for your relationship.
I much prefer to sleep alone. My BF prefer us sleeping together. It's just one more reason I don't want to live with anyone. Not everyone likes sharing a bed.
Is spending the night and sleeping together important to you? If so, you probably are never going to get that in this relationship. On the other hand, if you are fine with rarely spending the entire night together, I don't see a problem here.
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