Decoding Male Behavior...Very Frustrating (how to, girl, single, friends)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If he's been mean to you, you don't need him. Sounds like he has issues with women, even though he's attracted to them. it sounds like he has the potential to be abusive (that's what being mean is). Yes, men can be captivated by someone, and want to put them down and trample on them at the same time.
Avoid.
A lot of us have perfected the art of "look, but don't touch" behavior.
It has nothing to do with being abusive.
If he's been mean to you, you don't need him. Sounds like he has issues with women, even though he's attracted to them. it sounds like he has the potential to be abusive (that's what being mean is). Yes, men can be captivated by someone, and want to put them down and trample on them at the same time.
Avoid.
Thanks very much. My friend thinks he's 'hiding something'.
If he's been mean to you, you don't need him. Sounds like he has issues with women, even though he's attracted to them. it sounds like he has the potential to be abusive (that's what being mean is). Yes, men can be captivated by someone, and want to put them down and trample on them at the same time.
Avoid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312
If you are not interested in him, you need to tell that you are not sexually interested in him and for him never to interact with you again. You say you are feisty, prove it. Doing this will be best for both parties. You are mentally unburdened by interactions with him (there will never be another one after you say this) and he is free to pursue others that might be interested.
He needs to improve his game, or settle into a routine with his existing girlfriend.
Tell him? Straight out? He has never made any sexual advances so I don't think I need to do that? I agree that I do need to be mentally unburdened but I think the best course of action for me at this point would be to take a break/limit my time/continue to keep my distance.
There's this guy that's fairly new to my social group. I've caught him staring at me on several occassions -- the most recent stare was quite prolonged and intent. However, he never speaks to me and displays other weird behavior. When he does speak to me, he keeps it very brief.
One day he was talking to a mutual friend and when I walked up, he quickly mentioned that he had a girlfriend. He also moved his seat when I innocently sat down next to him at a party one evening a couple of months ago when I first met him. However, this past Thursday we were at a Christmas party and I was sitting down and there was an empty seat next to me and I noticed he was lingering. After a few minutes he came over and said "ah, let me sit down right here," and sat down next to me. I was completely shocked because he sometimes acts like he wants nothing to do with me and was a complete a$$ the first time around.
In addition to the staring, he also laughs at all of my unfunny jokes, smiles at me to the point where I get creeped out, and one day I caught him flushing red when I was playing with my hair? I've never once flirted or anything with this guy although I do find him attractive, but I first and foremost respect that he has a girlfriend. I usually keep my distance and don't communicate much but as of late I've been a little friendlier for the sake of peace. Also, in the looks department, I don't think I'm too bad myself. So what gives? Guys, why the weird behavior? Does he hate me?
And for the smarty fartys on the board, I am asking this question not because I like him but because I just met this dude and he's being mean to me and not treating any of the other girls in the circle this way. Trying to gain clarity because I don't understand it. I don't have much interaction with him. I'm feisty and I speak my mind..that's all I could think of?
Oh, C'MON ALEX!
The guy has such a big crush on you he can't stand it! You are threatening his long standing relationship with someone else, and he doesn't know what to make of it. So he pushes you away and at the same time is drawn to you.
Ya want him?
GO FOR IT! Smile at him and flash him the inside of your wrist (WHAT? You don't know that move?) and bump into him from time to time so he can smell your hair, etc, etc.....
Op,
no, the dude doesn't hate you. In fact, I think he finds you attractive. Men are not known for these passive aggressive behaviors. If we smile at you, it is really a freaking smile.
Yes, someone else also told me he is being passive aggressive with me. It's hard to explain but I know what I feel. Last week they were all hanging out and I didn't go. Later that day out of nowhere he comes by to where I am hanging out with another group of friends. It's weird but I felt strongly in my gut that he was looking specifically for me because he NEVER does this. NEVER.
A lot of us have perfected the art of "look, but don't touch" behavior.
It has nothing to do with being abusive.
Not sure what that has to do with the OP or my post. She said he'd been mean to her. That's what I was addressing. Moving away from her for no reason, giving her the impression he's not interested in her, and who knows what else he's done, that's too much contradictory behavior. It doesn't bode well for a healthy friendship, let alone something more serious. Besides, he claims he has a gf, which may or may not be true.
From what you wrote it sounds more like you have a mild obsession and a crush. That is way too much detail for a new acquaintance.
How is it that you perceive him as being mean? Is he simply ignoring you?
JanND,
You're right. I will admit there is a slight obsession. The hot/cold behavior has got me thrown. They say that's how this little game is supposed to work? To get the girl or guy constantly thinking about the other?
I think the hot/cold behavior is mean in and of itself and now more than before I believe he's fully aware of what he's been doing. Yes, he ignores me sometimes. And let's just say that I don't go out of my way to speak, either.
Tell him? Straight out? He has never made any sexual advances so I don't think I need to do that? I agree that I do need to be mentally unburdened but I think the best course of action for me at this point would be to take a break/limit my time/continue to keep my distance.
Yes, tell him you want nothing to do with him in any fashion. You don't even have to bring up the word sex. That will unburden you. He'll move on.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Smile at him and flash him the inside of your wrist (WHAT? You don't know that move?
) and bump into him from time to time so he can smell your hair, etc, etc.....
