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Old 12-31-2015, 08:58 PM
 
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Men and women should date someone they find engaging and interesting and someone who makes him/her a better person. As long as both are past the age of majority, age shouldn't be *the* deciding factor, although it can certainly play a factor.

Both of my serious relationships were with men older than me. 9 years older for one, and I married a man 14 years older than me. We've been married over 20 years now.
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:04 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 32,998,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
So overrated. Plus, at any age, if you are needing to build relationships (romantic or non-romantic) with those younger, you should be up to date on the pop culture scene.
Well, thank goodness as RJ312 is here to correct us on what we've said we wanted since he knows better what we want than we do.

LOL at staying up to date on pop culture. There is nothing and I do mean nothing more embarrassing than a geezer whisking into the fray to drop a hundred of what he thinks are cool up to date expressions on the young crowd. Insta-humiliation. This is VERY hard to fake, guys, I wouldn't recommend it. I'll bet most people reading this will have known somebody like this and will immediately know what I mean and cringe in sympathetic embarrassment.

I am recalling my newly divorced BIL's Britney Spears phase years ago and dying inside for him as we speak.

If you are old she knows you are old. Own it and roll the dice.
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:09 PM
 
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Mr. CSD is about 9 years older than me and it is not an issue just a number.
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:10 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,246 posts, read 52,668,250 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
I am 48 and can not imagine being attracted to a 60-something year old man unless he was one heck of an in shape handsome minimally wrinkled 60.

Not trying to be shallow, just answering honestly.

And it's not just the looks, actually - he is right at retirement. I am really just not. Two totally different stages, mindsets.

But also...a generation apart...it would be like dating my dad....that just feels like a turnoff....NOBODY is supposed to be attracted to his or her parent. And by the same token it would be a guy who wants to have sex with someone who could have been his daughter. Gives me a gross sort of feeling. That's honesty, what can I say, it is how I feel and I don't know that I could get past it. As I said above, maybe if he looked remarkably young so I could sort of fool myself into not feeling like it was my best friend's daddy trying to shag me but...ugh. Yeah, I just don't know.

I typically like younger guys but only up to maybe 8-ish years younger, or a little less than that. Maaaaaybe 10 years younger, I think that would be my limit, probably. So going the opposite way, I could not get down with someone young enough to be my son...but for just that same reason. I can not imagine having wanted sex with one of my son's friends whether they're "men now" or not, just disgusting. Well, to me. I'm sure not to everybody. Again, not judging, just saying this is how it feels for me.
I'm pretty much the exact same way, except insert "woman" where you put men. Everything you say is basic common sense for me and a lot of people. I think if people want to be with people outside the "standard" ranges that is fine and all, but I think if you lined up 10 average everyday people not millionaire rock stars I think 9 out of the 10 would agree with your post.

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Old 12-31-2015, 09:15 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 32,998,960 times
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Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Mr. CSD is about 9 years older than me and it is not an issue just a number.
The OP's age difference hypothesis here is half one's age plus 7 years. The question is whether a woman would be amenable to that formula of age difference - i.e. you are half the man's age plus 7 years. (Approximately.)

So say you're 42 (I don't know how old you are, just throwing that out there), would you be attracted to a 70 year old...not would you be attracted to a 51 year old. (Just giving an example and am assuming this magic "formula" is just an estimate.)

Me...it would take a really really amazingly super-special person. Not a cold approach by some 65-year-old dude. I am sorry. I am not trying to be shallow, or superficial. It's not just looks - though let's not discount that; I have always felt it was rather unfair that we women are expected to tell the world we don't care AT ALL about physical attraction, as if we're literal angels or something - we're not; we're mammals, like any other mammal. A number of things, rather often though not always looks, are included in a female's attraction to a male, though we're considered very non-PC to admit same.

But that aside, as I said, it's not just looks or actual physical "youth" that are the only issues here. Some 65-year-old cold approaching me for a "date" is basically just inches from retirement...I have a nine-year-old son, for heaven's sake. Can we say "not the same page"? That suave dude hoping to nail me was doing the worm with all the crazy cool cats and groovy beaded chicks at prom while I was a fetus. There ARE considerations...and not just how society sees us as the considerations. That is nowhere near the big deal that actual, literal generational differences would be, and that's actually only a 17 year difference, BTW, nowhere near the OP's suggestion which, doing the math for me at 48, would put me together with an 82-year-old. (Yeah, no, LOL. NOW we're really getting crazy.)

No, I'm not everybody. Yes, huge age differences can work out. If you do the math, you'll see it's rare. Ask out whomever you want to ask out. Only they know whether they'll be willing to go out with you. We don't. We can only give our own PsOV. So good luck whatever happens.

Last edited by JerZ; 12-31-2015 at 09:52 PM..
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Chicago
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It seems like most young women prefer men close to their age, but I'm a little different. I'm 27 and prefer men 35 to 45.
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Old 01-01-2016, 08:00 AM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,525,422 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
It seems like most young women prefer men close to their age, but I'm a little different. I'm 27 and prefer men 35 to 45.
Yep

I'm 31 and much prefer 35-45 year old women
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Old 01-01-2016, 08:04 AM
 
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JerZ, when I was in my 40's I went out with men in their 60's, it is a number and has nothing to do with the man himself.
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Old 01-01-2016, 12:01 PM
 
9,090 posts, read 6,314,604 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
This again? Why?

And that "formula" is crap, that means its ok for me to date 29 yos. Fudging creepy.
I dated a 25 year old when I was 39. Is that fudging creepy? Doesn't how we choose to live our lives have more of an impact on how old we appear or feel than a chronological number?
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Old 01-01-2016, 12:37 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 32,998,960 times
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Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
JerZ, when I was in my 40's I went out with men in their 60's, it is a number and has nothing to do with the man himself.
That's good, and we are all different.

However, age isn't just a number. It's also a life stage, certain memories and so on. As I said, for various reasons it wouldn't work for me (either way - a generation older or younger).

In this case we're talking a generation older, so going based on that: A man the age of my father and his cronies and my uncles and all, at least sight unseen/hypothetically (I'm sure something outside the norm for me could happen at some point but as I said, that would have to be something really, truly super-special) is a sexual turnoff for me. (For me.) For whatever reason this is what comes to mind (dad/uncles/dad's friends), what can I say? OTOH the OP was specifically asking women to individually give their answers so your age preference is applicable, and so is mine.

Not everyone would think of it this way, but I do and see no reason to force a preference on myself? Actually, I feel that might be impossible, even if I wanted to do it, which I don't (should I ever be in the dating world again)...dating is supposed to be fun!

So there you have it. We are each giving our own input and each of us is different but I am sorry...age isn't just a number. It is life experience, it is time. It is, often, where a person is in his/her career. It is, for many, whether or not there are grandchildren in the picture. It can be where one is in a career (or not having one any more and being retired and having that amount of free time v. the full-time worker in her 40s), it's the possibility of you having children to take care of one-on-one and him having grandchildren to just casually see without responsibilities and possibly NOT wanting to play the parent role with the girlfriend, it is sometimes relatability to a certain generation (again...for some), it is to varying degrees a physical looks change, it can for a percentage of people mean more aches and pains and less mobility (again, I'm not going for PC here but reality...NO, NOT saying every over-50 is in a wheelchair with arthritis or anything ridiculous like that), it is many different things.

No two people will ever have exactly the same situation and yes, one person could be a grandparent in her 40s where the next person is already a grandparent at that age blah blah extreme example extreme example, and nobody should expect a date to be in the same circumstances down to the last letter, BUT being a whole generation (or more! Per that formula) apart significantly ups the chances of there being more, and more significant, differences. (Of course some people don't mind those. Some do.)

Now as far as age not changing who the person actually is inside, that I can get behind. And no, I can't see a reason to be ageist overall. But as far as sexual attraction? This is my personal view on it. That's just for me. Not everyone is like me...but given the numbers (the majority, at least per stats, being connected with people much less than a generation apart), more than a few are, so I don't think my POV is way out there either. Everyone is just different. But the OP is asking for honesty, he apparently wants to know how much success he'll have with significantly younger women. It doesn't help him any to carefully be P.C. Gentle, yes; polite, yes...but if we all blow sunshine up his skirt and tell him about how unbelievably sexy a generation-older man is to every single woman, well...he might get a surprise. So I was giving honesty. Everyone is different so as I said to the OP: good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for.

Last edited by JerZ; 01-01-2016 at 12:57 PM..
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