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What on earth did you do? It seems like you must of crossed a pretty serious boundary for a woman to file a formal complaint with Match.
Instead of focusing on how you can sneak back on to match, focus on yourself and how to communicate women in ways that doesn't worry them.
Also, don't bother with using a friend's account. No girl will find it normal when your profile name is Tim but you're really Eric, and you're using a friend's account and when she asks why what is your answer going to be?
Hint there is no good answer to that
Yep. Match doesn't just suspend accounts willy-nilly. Another charming behavior I ran across was spite-reporting. After a few emails with a guy, we exchanged phone numbers. He called me from an outdoor concert. That was weird enough, but I knew from the way the conversation went that I didn't want to meet him (he sounded like he was on something--if you know who Double Rainbow Guy is, he sounded like that, total space cadet), and I was very grateful when his cell service dropped the call. He called again, and I said that I didn't think we were a match but that I wished him well.
Oh, the tirade! "I'm going to report you to Match. You're misrepresenting yourself! People on here are serious about FINDING LOVE and you don't even want to go out with me." I hung up on him and didn't answer any of his subsequent calls (of which there were four or five that night so that I just turned the ringer and machine off--this was before smartphones).
When I logged in the next day, there were five or six messages from him giving me the play-by-play.
Maybe you missed the part in the OP where he describes his questions as "probing."
It doesn't sound like he mentioned it in passing, like, "Care to tell me why?" That would be too much to ask of a stranger, anyway, but "probing" and "all that questioning" is off-the-charts entitled. I can't believe anyone would do that and actually expect an answer, TBH. Yeah, sure, some rando you've never met before is going to give you a thesis on why she's not into you.
And you know what? That kind of behavior is one reason I got off OLD. It has been my experience where someone will say, "Care to tell me why?" after I send a polite no thanks and then decide it's time to debate me on it, like I don't know my own mind and what I want.
Guy: Why don't you think we're a match?
Me: Your profile said you were looking for a life partner and wife. I am not looking for anything serious because I am moving away.
Guy: So? That's what trains, planes, and automobiles are for.
Me: Sorry, not interested in long-distance, either.
Guy: Well, maybe if it works out, I can move there. You never know. The job market is great for me down there. Why not take a chance?
Me: Because I don't want to. Does that meet with your approval? Is that enough of a reason for you? You're now showing yourself to be entirely too clingy and ahead of yourself on all of this when you haven't so much as heard my voice. Don't contact me again.
Some guy hounded a friend of mine so much that she totally lost patience and said, "Okay. You're ugly. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
TBH, I don't know why someone would put so much stock in a stranger's judgment as to ask in the first place. If someone rejected me, I'd just think, "Okay, he knows what he wants and I'm not it. Next!"
When you do get back on, learn from this...connecting online does not mean you have a potential gf on the hook...don't try to get to know someone via endless e-mails and texts. one or two short e-mails than ask her to meet you for coffee or a drink.
I've tried pof, okc, eharmony and even tinder. But I can safely conclude that match had the best quality of women and I got way more responses on match than the others combined.
Interesting. I found that here, Match, OKC and POF have all the same people on them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RonBurgandyHtown
Please suggest how I can get back on match. The morning they banned me I used another email to create a new account, but I used my same credit card. None of my 3 credit cards work now.
New email address, Internet cafe if those still exist so it's a different IP address, and a prepaid credit card if you're really that desperate to get back on the site. Use your middle name instead of your first so that way when it comes up in conversation you can more easily think of a cover story.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
I find it amusing when these guys say they have no friends, no connections, no social life... but they just have to "find a girlfriend!!!" as a first priority. Yeah, sign me up!
Last guy I went on a couple of dates with had no friends or social life. Nor any ambition to rectify that. That was a large part of the reason I declined a third date.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81
Match.com is littered with fake bot profiles and scammers. I've reported a number of them myself as I've seen so many of them.
Absolute BS all of it. A complete waste of money to be on that site. Whatever they are doing to combat fraud is a complete joke.
I know from personal experience they also show inactive profiles as active after you cancel your subscription in hopes to lure you back in when someone winks or emails you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
I've known too many people (including myself) that have ended up in long relationships via Match. No, it's not BS.
May I ask how long ago you met your honey on the site? I believe that several years ago, yes, this was true for both Match and eHarmony, as I do know married couples who have met on both sites but is no longer the case for either site. I don't know anyone who has met a long-term love on either site in probably the last 5 years.
Hi folks. I joined match.com about 1 month ago to find love. I'm not one of those to go online and play games. Anyway I was talking to this one girl and soon she flaked. I didn't get abusive or disrespectful at all. Just really probing as to why she flaked because I wanted to understand. Well I guess all that questioning to her seemed weird and I guess she reported me to match.com for harassment. They closed my account.
I'm in a new city, no friends, no connections. I'm trying to find a gf. Match was a great way to get dates. It was working. But now I'm banned. Now what?
I've tried pof, okc, eharmony and even tinder. But I can safely conclude that match had the best quality of women and I got way more responses on match than the others combined. In fact, with match I could almost get 1-2 dates a week. Now I have none. On the other websites, I've been reduced to tears! On match, I could confidently message 10 and get 2 decent responses that led to dates.
Please suggest how I can get back on match. The morning they banned me I used another email to create a new account, but I used my same credit card. None of my 3 credit cards work now.
Will it work if I use a friend's credit card and new email? How do you think they are blocking people and recognizing if I would create a new account? Do they block by photos? Most likely it has to be by matching credit card names and running a query through a banned people database in their system.
As far as those sites go, that fits easily within the definition of harrassment. What was there for you to understand? She flaked, that's it. The "probing" was just a tactic to keep communication going, which is harrassment to her.
How long have you tried dating sites in general? Seems like Match is the only one that works for you AT ALL, but so many others have conflicting opinions/experiences. I hope you find another one that works for you.
On Line Dating is a hellish nightmare realm for everyone involved. OP, if possible I'd suggest taking a break from it and giving the old fashioned route a try. If you're getting banned from pay to use dating sites I don't think I'm being pessimistic when I say it's probably not going to get better for you out there.
Maybe you missed the part in the OP where he describes his questions as "probing."
"Probe" just means to "seek information."
"Women don't owe you any in-depth explanations," just seems like a total over-reaction to this situation.
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